my son has been told several times to tell us where he is going when he leaves home. he is hard headed and doesn't take us seriously. we punish him and take away his favorite things to do, but he still insists not to do what we say. he cries and says people hate me. and says we hate him to . he knows we love him, he just uses that as an excuse for attention . what other methods should i use. and NO i am not spanking him, I have already tried and it doesn't work, it only makes it worse.
2006-12-11 09:02:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i'm sorry, my son is 8 years old.
2006-12-11 09:09:38 · update #1
At eight, your son should only be allowed to leave when he communicates where he is going and when you agree what time he'll be back. If he won't, he shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere. I don't think taking away an iPod for not telling you where he's going works as well as having to sit in the house all weekend. The punishment should fit the crime, so to say. Tell him, "Act like a little kid, get the independence of a little kid."
If he says he hates you, you should say that no matter how angry you might be at his behavior, you love him unconditionally.
I've heard parents can have good success with a contract that you and your son sign together.
2006-12-11 09:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by eli_star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing his age would help answer this. If he is a teenager, take his keys to the house and tell him, if he isn't home by a certain time, the doors will be locked. If he is under 12 years old, do not allow him to go anywhere (ground him) tough love is the only thing that works.
2006-12-11 09:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mothers and fathers more often than not permit me to hear what I desire to hear. Granted, my dad calls it "noise" often, however he is like fifty-six, so there is no manner I'm exchanging his opinion, lol. My mother is not all that keen on such a lot of my track, both. She shall we me concentrate to some thing I see are compatible, however she'll consistently supply me crap for it (it is cool despite the fact that, I make a laugh of her track as good and it is in a joking procedure). She's more often than not settled at the pronouncing that she "does not just like the vocals, however the track's now not unhealthy" for such a lot of my stuff. I do tone it down despite the fact that while I'm round my household for probably the most facet (except it is like my sister) due to the fact that I can respect that almost all men and women do not uncover Belphegor or Behemoth quite pleasurable, despite the fact that I love them.
2016-09-03 08:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes basically got you playing his game. Hes doing it for attention and trying to control you. The best bet here would be to learn the fine art of ignoring him, not if its getting dangerous.If he knows hes not getting to you,he will try something else like talking. Just tell him that when he grows up and no longer acts like a little kid that youll deal with him, but til then no special privledges or activities until he shows you hes old enough to do them. Ignoring a child is like ignoring a man,they cant stand it and it drives them crazy. Good luck
2006-12-11 09:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets see...ground his butt from TV, the phone, the IPOD, the computer, stereo, CD player and anything else you can think of. Dont make if for a day or two...set him in his room for about a week with a couple of good books.
When he wants to be grown up enough to discuss it rationally then talk about responsibilities.
You also might want to ask this question in Pregnancy and Parenting instead of Marriage and Divorce
2006-12-11 09:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old is he? If he's under 13, just refuse him permission to go anywhere. If he goes without permission, he loses privileges, Yes, he is using emotional blackmail on you. Don't fall for it. Be a good parent and remain firm. Who cares if he and his friends hate you? Later, he will look back on you and realize you loved him enough to discipline him. Use positive reinforcement, too. If he behaves this week, you will take him someplace he wants to go this weekend. If he doesn't behave, he doesn't go. Period. Even if you wanted to go. You don't go. Got it? Try that. It worked for us.
2006-12-11 09:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your kid sounds like mine in a bad day...the only diffrence is that I've know how to handel this...though I don't have all the time the energy to do it...I am not going to give you advices of how to punish him..I bet you can figure that out...thoug all the things you told already are one of the best...the key is to be perseverent and to tell him that you know he is manipulating you when he says you hate him,etc....when I play being tuff my kid is very respectfull, though I feel sometimes like I'll fall in any second...but it works. the momnet I am nice...he becomes rude...so it's up to us to keep our brats behaving nice.
good luck
2006-12-11 09:12:00 · answer #7 · answered by meninne3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make him the center of attention at any times...ignore him. Tell him what you need to tell him and ignore him. You have to be firm. There has to be consequences.
2006-12-11 09:12:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wish i knew how old your son was
ok two things
1. counselling, could be something else going on that he's afraid or embarrassed to talk to you about
2. children respond to fear, if your child doesn't fear you or have the threat of something major happing if he disobey's you, then you have lost your power. you need to regain your power
2006-12-11 09:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by T W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boot camp, tough love, he will thank you later on in life when he grows up and has kids of his own. What goes around, comes around.
2006-12-11 09:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋