Do you need a piece of paper to say you are married?

Question

This is a question for gay people. Do you really need a piece of paper to be married? I'm gay and this morning i realized that i dont need the government to tell me that im married to the person i love, which at the moment is no one. But i was sent a bulliten on MySpace called "How The Gring Stole Gay Marriage", and the moral was that gay people dont need a piece of paper to tell the that they are married, they just need to know it in their hearts.

thanks people, i have an opinion on this too and yes i think that the piece of paper is important if you want the benefits of marriage, but marriage isnt about getting benefits when your partner dies, its about love and being in love. and i posted this question just to hear peoples opinion of it, so if you dont like it shove it up your *** and dont answer

Answer 1

Unless they want benefits and tax breaks like all of straight American enjoys....and then yes, that piece of paper comes in handy.

Answer 2

In many cultures there are marriage rituals (some simple and some complex) that don't require a piece of paper and are still universally recognized. So no, you don't need a piece of paper to say you're married. However, in the US, to receive certain privileges under the law, you must have a piece of paper (for both gay and straight marriages) or be able to prove "common law" status in states that have that option. Many states are still not open to providing marriage rights to non-married couples (again, gay or straight doesn't matter).

Answer 3

Steve, sorry, I'm not gay but I'm still going to chime in because it's a fascinating question.

Marriage is really 2 things: Spiritual and legal.

As for legal, that is what the government recognizes, obviously...and they have no basis whatsoever for denying any union between 2 consenting adults other than that which is religious in nature. Okay, they can't do that because it violates church/state! Yes, the only rationale given for those opposing gay unions is biblical in nature which is legally indefensible.

As for Spiritual...that is the ceremony performed by whomever is allowed to marry you. Could be a guy who did it over the internet or it could be the pope...that fact alone completely renders it meaningless, doesn't it?

There are plenty of breeders who can marry but aren't married in their hearts...which also should invalidate the entire process. So the hypocrisy of the whole system is overwhelming.

If you and your partner want to have a ceremony, how should the government be able to oppose it? And if you want to have the same legal rights and considerations as straights, why should they stop you? I understand your feeling that you are married in your hearts...that is very sweet and true, really. But it shouldn't be good enough. You need to continue to fight the good fight.

It's heartbreaking to think that you could live with your partner for 30 years and then if something happened to either one of you, you're legally nothing more than a 'friend' or 'concerned party'.

That's why states need to adopt recognition of legal civil unions. It's no skin off their backs and opposition of such is not legally sound. It's not good enough to know it in your heart. You need to be able to proclaim it publically. It makes all the difference in the world.

But I'm just a breeder...

Answer 4

Nobody *needs* a piece of paper to say they are in love with each other. But I think it would be nice if homosexual couples could have the exact same rights as heterosexual couples. Having a formal marriage, and legal marriage rights, is something *everyone* should be allowed to do. So even though many people agree they don't need a marriage lisence to prove they love each other, they should still be allowed to get one if they want to. Its the inequality that bothers me.

To me it seems absolutely no different to say that gay people can't get married than it would be than if the government said, "Oh, sorry, blacks can't marry whites". No different!!!

Answer 5

In the eyes of the government in order to take advantage of all the rights and benefits of marriage, yes you do need the piece of paper

Answer 6

some do , some don't

there are legal things with getting the paper too

then often the partner wants a pre or post nup

to make sure that in spite of promising all that sickness or in health, etc, richer or poorer. That under no circumstances should you have any say over their money. Might be prudent but doesn't lead to love. Then when ya say ok, I'll sign it since I don't want your money anyway but here are my dying wishes. When she throws those in the garbage, its a sure sign she shouldn't be making those decisions so you find somebody else who is more rational and maybe cares about you to do it instead.

Answer 7

Joe and I exchanged rings & vows in front of friends and family on 5 Sep 1992 after having dated for three years. I don't need anyone to bless my marriage or tell me it is legal, I know what I feel in my heart and I know my marriage is just as valid as anyone's.

Considering the state of marriage today I would say I am a lot better off than those people with a license, at least mine has lasted.

Answer 8

I disagree (and I am not gay). What if you have a partner of 30 years, and when they pass away they still have oh 50,000 left of their pension plan, and for some reason they never listed their "spouse" as beneficiary, or they still have social security money that could be passed on to a wife, but not a partner.

I think all those laws we have to benefit married people are the reasons gay people should have some kind of legal document.

Answer 9

That is true about knowing in your heart. It goes above and beyond the marriage title although. It goes to having rights as a married couple. Like who can make the decision to pull the plug in the unfortunate event of a life-threatening situation. There are some additional things to consider as well. Until the time comes, follow your heart. That was beautifully said...Thank you :)

Answer 10

I think the gay marriage issue is more about rights and how you are treated. Currently, gay people have a very hard time with issues like visiting their partners in the hospital, inheriting, adopting children, etc. It is ridiculous that a straight couple could meet and get married in one day, and yet have rights regarding each other that a gay couple, who have been together for years, will never have.

Answer 11

I am not gay but I strongly think that you don't need a piece of paper to say you are married. I don't see why you need you "marriage" to be okayed by the government to be real.