i am the other "person" in a relationship that part of me wants to keep and part of me does not like. He has a boyfriend. His relationshipe is w/ his boyfriend. I am not a guy. we do things together physically sometimes. But most of the time we just hang together. His boyfriend is the seriously educated professional, who takes my guy w/ him to places like trinidad and costa rica. Im lucky to get a ride to the store. But I enjoy his company. I am not nieve I just need someone to tell me that they are in a similar situation. be gentle. I have some decisions to make and your input would be appreciated
2006-12-11 08:50:45 · 12 answers · asked by wannaknowBT 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you deserve better than being seconds.....find some one who puts you first...
2006-12-11 08:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by krnsspott 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are the "other woman."
Except w/ the obvious difference in gender you are in the exact same spot as a mistress would be, or for that matter, a secret gay/lesbian lover.
You obviously have a good relationship, but you see that this relationship won't ever develop into a "marriage" (primary monogamous relationship). Unless you're willing to be part of this guy's harem, it's time to move on.
Sometimes love isn't enough to keep a relationship going, you know....
email / chat w/ me if you want to talk.
2006-12-11 16:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by geek49203 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not a good situation for you, you should move on.
This has nothing to do with his being bi. The same situation could occur if he were straight and had another girlfriend. It does not mean he does not care for you, but you are stagnating. You will go nowhere in the relationship as long as things remain as they are. You might give him the option to choose, in one last effort to save the relationship, but I think you are better just walking away.
2006-12-11 17:08:40 · answer #3 · answered by Wundt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm in the exact same situation. I am living with a gay man who has a boyfriend, yet we mess around all the time. We are so close it feels like I am in love with him. His boyfriend is someone who I respect to the fullest but I still feel my room mate is choosing his lover over me.
At times it doesn't feel fair because hes having his cake and eating it too. He needs to choose a side and stay there if you know what I mean. Sometimes I feel I cant compare to his lover. sometimes it feels I am in a lower class than him (since he insists on paying all my roommates bills)
On weekends his lover comes over and we have to act like we don't mess around. It bothers me. Sometimes I want to call him out on it!!
The bottom line is you will never have the whole "package" like a man can offer him. Just remember your self worth is in the balance and that you truly deserve someone who can give you undivided attention and someone who isn't attracted to both sexes. Honestly, It never really works out for us woman when it comes to bi men.
Good Luck sweety..... I understand how you feel....
2006-12-11 17:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy sounds like a user. He uses you and his boyfriend for his own selfish needs without regard to your and the boyfriend's feelings.
End it and move on. And BTW telling the boyfriend will only make enemies of both of them so just end it and don't see them ever again. There are plenty of people out there to share good times with that will have your feelings in mind.
2006-12-11 16:56:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
So your a straight girl in love with a gay guy huh? Well first off if this is the way he act's towards you need to leave him and find some one new that is first off straight and that will spend more time with you than with his friends and other girls. Besides if ya'll have sex there is over a 50% chance that you may catch an STD with him. so just find someone new and better!! go to yahoo singles and put in a ad who knows I found my love on yahoo maybe you will to.
2006-12-11 16:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by William T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Reach way down and find your self-esteem and self-worth -- it's still there, but you'll have to reach waaaaay down to find it!
It's fine that you want to be friends with this guy, but you're forgetting that he's already involved with someone! Would you behave the same way if his 'significant other' were female instead of male?
You are a convenience to him - you've made yourself available to him physically, and there's no reason for him to commit to you when he's getting the "physical" benefits PLUS financial/economical benefits from his OTHER friend.
Let him go and find yourself a real man - one who will cherish you and you alone - you ARE worth it!
Merry Christmas!
2006-12-11 17:11:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is he in his relationship for the "stuff" or does he truly love him and can not see himself with out him? He may need you if he is in a loveless relationship as he may be looking for a way out. Sit down with him and have a candid discussion. Find out what he wants in life. If it is a serious relationship I would back away. Not for his sake but for yours. You need to take care of yourself and find someone who wants to be with you and only you.
2006-12-11 16:57:03 · answer #8 · answered by SeattleBloke 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
to me it sounds more like you just wanna be friends with benefits. if he has a loving bf, you really shouldnt try to destroy that. if it gets ruined, and he really cares about his bf then it may devestate him to broken up with. you should probably try to stop the physical side of the relationship with him, and its unhealthy for you to be afixated on a guy that has a bf...
2006-12-11 16:53:42 · answer #9 · answered by Steve 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, I feel for you. This is the danger of bisexuality. Sometimes someone will get hurt. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Please, honey, move forward. I know it is going to be hurting and difficult. You need someone who is going to make you number one.. Good Luck and God bless you :)
2006-12-11 17:23:08 · answer #10 · answered by punxsyparty 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just one question. Are you being used?
OK, two questions. Do you think YOU would be better off out of it?
2006-12-11 16:53:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋