I would like my husband to pay for what he did, we have been together for 5 yrs. and it has torn me apart day by day learning that he's been with someone else recently. I figure the only way for me to feel better is to let him feel some of the pain i've been feeling this past year. I do not want to have an affair and stoop to his level i would just like him to have a taste of the pain + hurt i've been going through...and i would also like that little slut who cheated with him to also pay...so what is a good way to get back at both of them?
2006-12-11 08:32:35 · 24 answers · asked by ღCCღ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cloe, dont do anything that YOU will regret....i know it hurts like hell right now and all kind of evil thoughts and deeds are going thru your head, hell you're only human. but time heals alll yes you're mad now. but do you still want a life with this man, can you wake up one day without thinking about the betrayal and hurt that it is causing you now. if you're answer is to stay with this man, you will also have to be able to argue with him without throwing it up in his face, that's the hardest thing to do,because you want to hurt him as bad as he hurt you,you want to rip his heart out of his chest,and stomp on it like he did yours. BUT IF YOU WANT TO STAY WITH HIM you can't do that it will have to be forgive and try not to think about it. you notice i didn't say forget cuz you won't be able. you'll have to make up your mind what it is you want and go from there. if you can't do those things and start over again then cloe,let it go and start anew with someone else. revenge is only going to end up making you miserable in your heart. take it from one who knows. good luck darlin' and try to have a HAPPY HOLIDAY.
2006-12-11 09:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by hummybird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's keep it real: Do you honestly think that if you go out and do the same thing he did is going to validate you or even make like you have gotten "even"? Many couples fall into that pitfall into thinking that if the other one cheats I'll cheat and it's all good. Because doing tit for tat is just going to make matters worse. But if I were in your shoes, if I knew he was cheating I would make him feel like ****! Not cheating on him will cause him more damage because he will feel more guilt that you won't even go there with him because that will make his actions justified if you do it too. But I would leave his *** definetly. As for the other woman, you have to look at it like this: Wether the other woman knows you or not, your husband DEFINETLY knew what was the deal. HE violated you. I don't understand why women want to attack the other woman, but want to let their husbands back in their beds!!! A woman can seduce a man til' the sun goes up and down, but if a man is true to his woman, he ain't gonna go for it, a real man can resist the temptation because he's not gonna lose what he has if it's worth anything to him in the first place. The other woman didn't marry you and lie to you. And you don't know if he lied to her, because men lie all the time and say that they're divorced, on the virge or divorce, or not married nor have a woman period. You can have sex with 50 guys but it's not gonna make anything square or even in the end. But if you're really hurt and you don't think that you can forgive him and you're relationship is irreconcilible, DIVORCE HIS A-S-S!!! Collect that alimony, and get you a new man and be done with it. That's the best payback! My dad cheated on my mother 15 years ago they've been divorced, and she's been livin good on that alimony and got her a new man with a guaranteed check every month, and she's not gonna get married again and I don't blame her.
2006-12-11 08:47:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation has worsened because you are letting this "man" (and I use the term loosely) make you miserable. Conjuring up revenge on him would be wasting your time and would also inadvertently show him how you're not over what he has done, which, in turn, makes him look like he has the upper hand. And if you don't want that, then you should leave. The other woman is not to blame- she is merely a pawn in his wrongdoing. The other posts here are encouraging you to leave, to have respect for yourself and to be the better person in the huge mess your very own husband dragged you in- take them to heart and find your own inner peace!
2006-12-11 21:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by purringout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Describe in vivid detail to him some sexy movie star and how you would llke to do him. This is very upsetting to most husbands. As for the other woman. If she didn't know he was married, leave her alone. If she knew go "high school" on her butt and send a flyer to every woman where she works and tell them to beware of her because she cheated with a married man. It's not libel and something to sue about because it's true, and you do have a right to call her names....your opinion. OR you could put a sign on her car or the flyers on cars where she works. Get a prepaid telephone and harass her by calling her names. This made one girl break down and cry but it cured her from married men. Once we I poured urine all over this girl's car interior very discreetly and she couldn't prove who did it and the stink was impossible to get rid of. She was always going after someone's boyfriend. If you have the nerve you could confront her and make an ugly yelling scene....you might look psycho but it should make her think twice of the potential embarrassment. Have a couple girlfriends back you up. Go to the library and take out all the subscription cards and sign her up for every magazine. Put her name and the fact that she s..... d..... in every chatroom with her phone number. I told you they were very high school!
2006-12-11 09:03:39 · answer #4 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge on the other woman doesn't make good sense. You weren't married to her so really she hasn't done a thing to you.
YOUR HUSBAND did!
As a woman I'm sure you know how to make his life h e ll if you want to but you'll probably loose him in the process.
Why not be the bigger person ......... you'll earn respect for that. Revenge will only serve to loose respect in the long run.
Little hint.....Marriage is not all about emotion so don't let your's run what happens in your marriage.
2006-12-11 08:47:36 · answer #5 · answered by open_phunguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were going to seek revenge (which, really, let's be honest, can be so satisfying...)
I would find something important to him -- some thing -- and put it on the driveway and run over it a few times. I mean, really ruin it. Then when he's carrying on, I would tell him that the crumpled mess in the driveway is what my heart feels like and he should just get over it.
As for the woman...probably telling everyone I knew that she was a ho iwith an STD would work for me.
2006-12-11 08:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge won't solve the plm. best thing you can do right now set yourself best career right now and do better than his other mistress because soon or later he will found out how much you making and how you live your lifesytle he will be begging you back. and you can tell him what wrong your woman not good enough foryou now? since Ohhh I making more money than your woman???
You should of though of that before you did. You need to be smart than both of them... Guess what When It happen to me and I live on my own and met my wife and my ex wife life torn up no good. and My life been so great. My ex told me that Without her I am no good. But it a way around smiling.
Just be smart, don't have to chase him or her for revenge. I believe that you are so smart than both of them and you can live better life by showing them. smiling. Woman like you can do amazing thing. I believe you can. If i was right email me greenbaypackers1920@yahoo.com let me know how it goes. I Truly believe you can do it better than Revenge.
2006-12-11 08:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not let your rage consume you. The best revenge is to move on and begin a happy new life. As difficult as this may be try to learn what you can from this miserable experience. Did you choose poorly even though there were signs?
Did you not provide the pleasure he needed and he found it elsewhere? I am not saying either of these things are true but they should be considered.
Most of all let go of anger as it will not serve and any revenge you may attempt will be empty in the end anyway.
2006-12-11 08:41:06 · answer #8 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People always say that revenge isn't a good thing, but if I could think of good revenge I sure would. My heart has been torn out and spit on, like yours!
Anyways, FIRST...........do you know for a fact this female knew he was married? IF she did, and you know she knew, then she does deserve revenge. The best thing for that would to pack hubby's bags and place them on her porch.
Send homemade baked cookies with laxative in them.
Do things, that won't land you in jail.
Put sugar in their car tanks.
IF you have children, file for divorce and alimony!!
Make him leave the house. Get a restraining order.
IF you pack his clothes, make sure you make sure their real dirty, so the new chick can spend her time doing his laundry.
The sweetest revenge is for you to MOVE ON!!
2006-12-11 08:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your anger is completely understandable, but if you don't get a handle on it it will destroy you and all that you hold dear. You need to get counseling on how to deal with the anger, hurt and betrayal you feel before you lash out and do something you'll regret. Once you get to a point where you can talk about it rationally than you need to talk to your husband about it and make him understand the pain he's caused you. He really needs to spend every day of the rest of his life making it up to you, if he even can. But don't let this turn you into a monster.
2006-12-11 08:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate as the same thing happened to me.....We are in the same boat....I can tell you that the guilt that he has is more than enough.....You should not seek revenge on this woman as he was wrong, she was just a participant....
Women need to understand that it was their husband's choice to cheat, he could have said no....The best way to get back at him is be cordial and work on yourself and do you...When you show him that you don't need him in your actions, he will start to kiss your behind....
Time will heal your pain as I am hurting just like you are but I said, there is nothing I will do as GOD will judge him and when it comes to that day, he has to answer to that for himself and that is good enough reason for me....
There are two things you can do....One is forgive him and move on with your lives and communicate to work out your problems or if you can't forgive, leave and file for divorce because the worse thing you can do is constant arguing which will affect the child(ren) if any are in your household.....
Stay in prayer and have faith that time will heal you pain.....
Let go of the anger, it is not worth getting revenge on someone who is worthless as she will learn, "What comes around, go around" so when she gets into a relationship with someone and get married or be serious with someone, justice will be done to her because she will feel your pain on how someone you love cheats and the pain that is involved...
I used to deal with my hubby being with his single male friends and that's how he got into that mess and never had time to spend with his family...I started making plans to leave and was very serious and did not care if he overheard me, but once he realized I was serious, he became a family man overnight...Now everywhere I go he is by my side and spend time with me and my girls and don't hang out with his friends anymore...We are what's important...
When a man sees that you are leaving and if he loves you, he will not let you go, he will change instantly....
Good Luck and stay in prayer and your answers will be given unto you...
2006-12-11 08:54:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋