I think my boyfriend of 7 months is getting ready to propose. He is by far the most thoughtful, caring, kind man I have ever dated. However, I'm not sure I want to marry him. If I don't marry him I doubt I'll ever find anyone that treats me as well as he does, but if we do get married I'm worried that I'll be missing out on something more. I love him, no question. Do I just have cold feet? In the past I've always thought that cold feet was an indication that someone shouldn't get married. I'm just so confused. I can picture us ten years from now living in the suburbs with two kids and being happy, but something inside is causing me to hesitate. Any incite?
2006-12-11 08:27:50 · 7 answers · asked by G. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's called the jitters and believe me its a good thing. It means you're taking this decision seriously. I would be more concerned if you were running head over heels at him.
I would bet he is feeling the same butterflies. It's a tough decision. Here is what I asked myself about my wife.
1) Do I love her?
2) Do I love her enough that I would give up my life for her?
3) Can I put her first in any and every situation?
I answered yes to all 3. I knew that I was ready to be completely committed to her for the rest of my life.
Marriage is a 24/7 job that you cannot punch out of...
2006-12-11 08:33:01 · answer #1 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cold feet is a very common feeling when it comes to marriage. It doesn't mean you don't love that person, it just means you may have confused feelings about your life changing. I know I got pretty weirded out before I got married about my last name changing forever and even considered keeping it, but after I got married none of those fears or confused thoughts mattered anymore. I realized how silly all the worrying I had done was. I had been with my boyfriend for 3 years before we got married and everything has stayed exactly the same between us. The only thing that has changed is my last name and the ring on my finger. We're still in love and things seem a lot more relaxed now that we are married. It's natural to feel hesitant towards marriage. I would be worried if there weren't some concerns. Just try to work everything out before the big day and things will go a lot smoother for everyone. Trust your gut and write out a pros and cons list to help yourself out. Good luck!
2006-12-11 16:43:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, no one is going to be able to tell you whether or not you should marry this guy--it is totally up to you. If you love him; that's all you need, you know...if you don't, then he isn't the right man for you. Only you know how you feel, and only you can make this decision.
Btw; here is a good question to ask yourself in regard to this situation: "is this the man you want to be the father of your children?"
If yes, then that's a good indication; if you say no, then dump him, because that says something about his character if not your love for him...
Also, if you aren't sure you are ready for marriage, but still want to date this guy; then just tell him you aren't ready yet, and date until you are ready; or know that you don't want to marry him.
2006-12-11 16:35:39 · answer #3 · answered by Pooky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want insight? Seven months is not long enough to be considering marriage unless you have a LONG engagement.
If you feel hesitation, go with your gut and say your not ready if he proposes.
2006-12-11 16:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You barely know the man. Get real. And you can start getting cold feet when he actually proposes and not when you are thinking that he might. Please...
2006-12-11 16:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am sure that is God talking to you....seek His advice....ask Jesus what is best for you....may God bless you.
2006-12-11 16:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im in almost the exact same situation. Please email me
2006-12-12 00:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋