2006-12-11 07:41:56 · 13 answers · asked by deborah i 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hey deb.
I could write a book! Married 20 years. I was extremely depressed. I started dating pretty soon, just casually. It was a nice distraction and seemed to take the pain away.
A few things I discovered rather quickly: Dating is certainly different than in our 20's. It is as easy as falling off a log to get a date.
Also, I discovered that men are desperately looking for a relationship, not just sex, which surprised me.
I began looking into on-line personals. For ME it was the best thing I ever did. I met many WONDERFUL men. It was nice.
The biggest challenge for me, now 3 + years out is learning to love again. Learning to let someone in my heart and to trust again. I have been dating a great guy for a year now and I still have trouble with trust.
But it is a wonderful adventure. The best thing about it is that you don't have to follow any conventional rules now. You can decide your rules as you go and do what you like when you like and you have no one to answer to but yourself. WHat a wonderful feeling.
Good luck.. if you want to contact me via e-mail that would be fine.
Have fun.
2006-12-11 07:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you first start going out it is very hard because your use to one man and a man says something to you that isn't nice you'll be very offend. If you go dancing the first they try to kiss you on the dance floor I walked off and went back to my table. My friends this is 2100 century not 1940, after awhile you just kiss back but I'm not going to say you get and sleep with any old thing that comes along. You were married 18 years you must be around 36. look for a little older real wealthy rich man, they are hot and the best lovers in the world . Money buys the best of everything, don't settle for some old cheapskate get the best. Live your life good, enjoy yourself and have the best life can offer. Ride in the best, eat the best and sweetheart live the best life has to offer.
2006-12-11 15:56:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont expect to feel comfortable with it in the beginning. Dating is hard after such a long time, the potential dates are at a different age now than the last time you were single and rules have changed somewhat. Just go out and have fun in the company of others. Dont expect relationships, take things a date at a time, and most importantly have fun exploring your new single status. Its great when you adjust. Try online dating, its a great way to meet people of like mind, or why not join a social club in your area for divorcees? Just get out and meet people and have fun! Best wishes xx
2006-12-11 15:48:48 · answer #3 · answered by rattyfraggs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that it is hard and I sympathize with your plight. The main thing is to watch out for the predatars (who sometimes look like really hot guys). This time of the year is especially difficult--be aware that you may be more vulnerable and lonely than you realize. It's impt. to take care of yourself. It helped me to read as many books as I could on the subject--self development books mostly on the subject of being alone (they push the idea of enjoying solitude as opposed to being lonely), etc. It's also impt. to avoid negative people and ensure you're surrounded by supportive friends and family. They can help bolster your self esteem and help you ensure your judgment is good. I usually make sure that all new guys are introduced to family & friends so I can benefit from their objective views. It's sometimes hard to resist someone you're really attracted to and it's easy to overlook obvious signs that the guy is a player. You'll probably also find yourself doubting your judgment calls at first....what I mean is you may stay with a guy longer than you should and overlook inconsiderate behavior. After being married for 18 years it's hard to know what to expect. It's all trial and error at this point. Don't rush into a relationship. Take some time to work on yourself first. Hang in there!
2006-12-11 15:49:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sleep around a little (but be safe) before going back into a relationship again. You want to have a litle fun before having to be dedicated to one person again, unless of course that was the reason for your divorce. In which case I would tell you to practice not sleeping around. Either way have some fun!
2006-12-11 15:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by 666K9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH, YES, IT CAN BE VERY HARD! TIMES ARE DIFFERENT THAN 18 YEARS AGO. BUT THE RULES OF SUCCESSFUL DATING ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE THE SAME: JUST BE YOURSELF, RELAX AND IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT- DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF! DON'T THROW YOURSELF INTO A RELATIONSHIP AT ANY RATE- JUST TO BE IN ONE! YOU ALREADY BEEN THROUGH A LOT, INCLUDING A RUINED MARRIAGE. SO JUST WAIT TILL YOU ARE SURE THAT IT WORTHS YOUR TIME AND FEELINGS.
2006-12-11 15:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by Stella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom is in the same situation except she was married for 17yrs sorry hope you have good luck!!
2006-12-11 15:45:21 · answer #7 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time, do what you like to do and u will find someone there.
2006-12-11 15:44:17 · answer #8 · answered by rhonda_seiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice your bob and weaving... Good Luck...
2006-12-11 15:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just dont make the same mistake twice.
2006-12-11 15:44:04 · answer #10 · answered by so cute u cant handle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋