Answer ONLY IF YOU have ever had an affair with a friend.?

Question

Don't answer if it doesn't apply. The last thing I need right now is someone judging me who hasn't gone through a situation like this. I have a spouse (18 yrs.) I have fallen in love with our friend, and I just want to know if you have ever been in a simular situation. Did you tell your friend that you're in love with them? What happened? What was the ending result? I just want to know about your experience. So, if you haven't ever had an affair with a good friend that you fell in love with--then please don't respond.

Answer 1

ok thnx for 2 points

Answer 2

I had an affair with my friend who I am also friends with his wife. We would bowl on friday nights, go into the bar and sing. When he wife got pregnant and couldn't go we started having an affair. I think it was just mainly the sex though. He never told me he loved me and I never told him, We really liked each other alot but knew I that he could never leave his wife. I actually got pregnant by another friend that we hung out with and the affair stopped. He wanted to continue with the affair but I couldn't do that anymore. I am now married to the guys cousin and have been for seven years now. When we go back to visit we all talk but we decided to keep this information to ourselves. The only one that does know now is my husband.

Answer 3

I was married, when an ex of mine bumped into me one day. We used to date, and him and my then hubby were friends in the past. I discovered I was still in love with my ex, and after 18 months of NOT saying anything to him or my husband, I spilled the beans to my ex. He felt the same way, and I left my marriage, not FOR my ex, but because my husband had become violent. My ex and I did not officially get together till the marriage was over.

If you are not willing to lose your marriage for the other person, dont say anything. If you are willing, then finding out if the other person feels the same will help you decide what to do.

Whatever you do, act logical and rational, and do your best to keep anyone from being hurt.

Answer 4

I'll answer if I want to.
Just end your marriage Beth. Your questions make it clear you are unable or unwilling to live up to your commitments.
Do your husband, you new stud-to-be, and everyone at Yahoo answers a favor and divorce your husband.

Answer 5

I would recommend that if your going to ask people for advice you shouldn't start your paragraph with "the last thing I need right now". Kinda snotty dont you think ?

Answer 6

Ok I wont answer, but he shoots and gets the 2.

Answer 7

What would you want your husband to do if the situation was flipped? I think you owe it to him to be honest with him about this and leave him.

Answer 8

I have never had an affair of any sort while married. But I did realize I was in love with a guy (we'll call him Bob) while I was dating someone else (serious relationship - marriage had been a discussion altho there was no engagement and we'll call him Jack) I began flirting with Bob and purposely putting myself in places I knew he'd be. Hell, I even started smoking so I'd have an excuse to sit outside with him after class (this was in college where Bob and I both went) I was paranoid either one would find out my real emotions. I was afraid to break up with Jack because I had no idea if Bob felt the same. I had noticed certain signs (like your guy, Bob showed no emotion whatsoever) but was unsure what they truly meant or if I was just reading into them because I wanted him to love me back.

I stressed over this for months. Going out of my way to spend time with Bob while still dating Jack. I felt bad for almost leading Jack on but I had a good thing going with him. He was a good guy who I really enjoyed spending time with. I didn't want to lose it all if I was wrong. But I still couldn't get over how I felt about Bob. Trouble was I was afraid to be alone. I was so accustomed to Jack being there I wouldn't know how to handle myself. And I knew if I told Bob how I felt I might end up short one really good friend and get myself a nice broken heart.

I consulted a few friends (mutual of Bob and I...few of them knew Jack - Jack didn't go to school with us...he was in the Air Force) They said they had seen the same signs I had. Bob would come to where I worked on campus just to sit and talk. Never about anything romantic and often about class (we had the same major). Bob would often ask where I was if I wasn't able to get to the table we always sat at outside the student union. (Our little cluster of friends always reported to the same table between and after classes - so it wasn't always just Bob and I) Bob knew my class schedule. But we shared a number of classes and were in a study group together. Bob really didn't like Jack. But there were a couple of guy friends I had at the time who didn't like Jack.

Finally after nearly a year of this struggle I decided to break up with Jack and talk to Bob. I decided I couldn't ethically tell Bob how I felt while still with Jack. First of all I wanted to make myself available to Bob since he knew I was attached to Jack. Second I'd hoped the vulnerability of a break up would help Bob sympathize with me. I asked him to walk with me and I told him how I felt. It wasn't as hard as I thought. The words just sort of came out. Bob looked me straight in the eye and said "I know. I've known almost as long as you have. But..." Yes, I got the dreaded 'but'. Long conversation short was that he wasn't at a place in his life where he could date anyone, much less me who he did harbor feelings greater than friendship for. Our friendship didn't really change that much. I did try to convince him that he was at a place that he could date but that was short lived and didn't work.

I decided to leave it alone, give up the hope of a relationship with Bob and move on. It did break my heart, but didn't end my life. Although I love Bob in some small way to this day, I ended up finding a terrific guy that I love so much more than I could have dreamed to love Bob. I married him and don't regret the decision to give up a relationship with Bob...or Jack. But I do believe I would have greatly regretted not telling Bob. Tell him. But give your husband due process. If you are truly in love with another guy, that means you and your husband just aren't in it together, I'm sorry to say. This doesn't mean you have to divorce him, but a seperation might be in order.

You never know, you might seperate from your husband, pursue your guy, only to find that your husband really was the right "one" for you. But you don't want to live with the regret of never knowing. Love is tricky and fleeting. If you find it, don't let it go.

Answer 9

you right it didn't apply me about this questions.

Answer 10

2 pointer...