if my husband cheats several times, can we save the marriage?

Question

We have been together for 4 years. It turns out he has cheated on me with eight different several times each. He says that will change. Can I trust that he will? I love him so much, and I want it to work, but I don't know if he is telling the truth that he will change. He sounds sincere.. I am just confused.

Answer 1

The question isn't "Can we save this marriage?" it is WHY SAVE THIS MARRIAGE? Your married to a dog, own it and MOVE ON!

Answer 2

oh no no no no no....don't let him do this to you..been there done that and am now divorced. Yeah he will change but from one woman to another. LOVE? ok what is love to you. Cheating or being faithful? Look at it this way. Do you want to live your life not being able to trust him? now stop being so naive and move on with your life. No he wont change and no things won't work out. Go out and meet new people and fall out of love with this man cause obviously he doesn't love you. You cannot save a marriage after eight times several times each sweetie. CAn you sleep with him without thinking about the other women he's slept with? Can you stand the fact that he goes out withou you and you sit there wondering where he's at and wiht who? Can you you live everyday of your life with him without bringing it up that he cheated on you eight times or more? Can you hear him say I Love You and believe it? Can you have sex him with out wondering if he had sex with someone else before you? Are you really happy?.....I bet you said No to all of the above and if you have it's time to move on..it's not a bad thing to be divorced and be happy...It's alot better then being married an unhappy...and if you said yes to any of the questions then you need phsycological help.

Answer 3

My wife cheated on me once many years ago. She made it up to me and our two boys. She promised me that if I took jher back and made the family whole again, she would make sure I never regretted that decision, ever. She changed then - grew up - became stronger, more supportive, and stood by us through thick and thin. I trust her completely now, because I see who she has become. I recommend you come clean. It'll hurt him like crazy, but you need to be an open book for a long time - no hiding anything - not emails, not phone calls, no secret visits with anyone. And commit yourself to him as my wife did to me, and he'll eventually see that the new you is a tougher person who will defend her husband and marriage at all costs.

Answer 4

Once a cheater always a cheater! Eight times what makes you think he really is at work when hes says he is. Only you can make this choice but i know i wouldnt be risking my life for a man that could bring me home an STD or getting someone else preganant. Thats not a husband you have he's a dog and he belongs in the dog house! Onece is forgiveable but not forgetable after round 2 his *** should have been out the door.

Answer 5

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. It's easy for a liar to sound sincere but you have to look truth in the eye. He is a cheater! That is a deal breaker! You cannot trust him now or ever. You are loving what you WISH he were like, not what he is. Get away from him; grieve the loss of what could have been; and start over. There's nothing but misery and hurt with a partner who will cheat and lie to you.

Answer 6

I wouldnt trust him. I have made it very clear to my husband that the minute I find out he's cheating on me, that's it. Its hard for me to even think that because like you say, I love my husband so much, I dont know what I would do without him, but in a situation like that I would have to figure it out because I'm not gonna be with someone that will cheat on me and go do other women. Forget about the emotional harm you will be doing to yourself doubting him everytime he comes home late from work, wondering if he was actually with the other woman...Think about any sexually transmitted diseases he could be bringing home with him. You can catch a potentially fatal disease from this dirtbag.

Answer 7

If he's cheated on you that many times already, there's a good chance he'll never change. I would suggest you go to counseling and find out the reason why he's cheating. If he's really serious about changing, I would say he's going to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. If he doesn't want to go to counseling, I would start looking for a good lawyer. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I would say no with a 99% uncertainty. Give or take 1%.
He sounds sincere - I'm sure he does. He obviously is skilled in manipulating women. Eight girlfriends plus you in four years? This guy is obviously much more skilled in the art of con than I.
I just shake my head when nice guys like me can't find a good woman to marry (I did eventually) but idiots like your husband can get them by the truckload.
You are a fool to do anything other than call a divorce lawyer.

Answer 9

Why would you want to be with someone who had cheated on you 8 times? That should tell you enough already. If it was once that would be different, but 8 times? I doubt very much he will change. If you want to be in a faithful relationship then you would be better finding someone else who respects and appreciates the same. I learned a long time ago that no amount of wanting makes someone else change. Best wishes
xx

Answer 10

Wow, eight women. That's a serial cheater. I don't know if you can save it, but you must try for your marriage. See a counselor to understand why he cheated. It's not about the sex, see whats missing in his life to make him cheat and if he won't help himself then it may be time for you to go on your own. Best wishes.

Answer 11

8 TIMES in 4 YEARS! Hell no! Stop being stupid, he's done this 8 times already. How many more times does it take for you to see that this man is a habitual cheater and womanizer? I would've been in a divorce lawyers office 7 cheats ago.