Scraping utensils on teeth - help!?

Question

Okay, this is an odd question. My boyfriend scrapes his fork along his teeth when he eats and clinks the spoon on his teeth also.

Is is like fingernails on a chalkboard and I was raised that it is horribly rude. I have mentioned it a couple times, and he's reacted by saying, "Oh, now you're going to nitpick all the little things?", and "What, are you going to leave me because of this?". He also thinks I'm nuts and says he's sure everyone in his family does it, too (they don't, I've noticed).

Sounds petty, but it makes mealtimes the most grating thing ever. I find myself "accidentally" leaving the TV on to cover the noise.

Am I crazy? Can anyone site something that says what poor manners this is? How can I get across how grating this is without insulting him?

Just a note: we've been together 4 years and have a two-year-old son, so it's not like I'm going anywhere. I just wonder how people have dealt with one really intolerable habit when they're met with angry resistance.

Answer 1

I am SO GLAD that I am not the only person in this world that finds that obscene! My husband did that, and I told him (in the privacy of our home, not around others), that it was gross. I told him it down right nauseated me....i.e. the fingernails on the chalkboard thing. Make a deal with him. If he stops that, you will stop something he thinks is annoying. He may just feel better if he sees that you aren't calling yourself perfect, and you are allowing him to point out something about yourself that he finds annoying.

Answer 2

no your not crazy! i used to date a guy that did that. if he is not up to level then you need to leave. there is better out there. just imagine 3 years from now when you go to a bosses dinner and you take him - what an embarrassing time. i used to tell my ex that #1 he need to stop chewing like a cow #2 get some manors. pulling a fork through your teeth is rude. he never changed and he was a lost cause. he is still the trash he was back then.

Answer 3

It is not insulting to mention something that drives you crazy. If he loves you he will modify his eating habits and bad manners.

Just keep in mind that these habits have gone on for a long time and it may take several reminders before he changes.

Say it like this; I don't know why this is honey, but it drives me totally bonkers when you scrape your teeth with your utensils.

He probably dosent even know he's doing it.

Answer 4

Most people will probably think its petty but not me. I have a problem co-worker who is 47 and pops her gum. She doesn't seem to have any manners either. This is what I do. As soon as I start dating a guy and he does something like that I tell him that if we are to continue to date they will have to have manners while eating. Tell him that if he cant stop then you guys cant eat together. That should get him to stop.

Answer 5

It is rude and ill-mannered, but it is something you'll have to deal with if you stay with him. Lucky you that he is only a boyfriend and you can let it go now if you can't learn to deal with it. You need to ask yourself the question "Can I be with someone without manners?" and if so, let it go, otherwise, move on and find someone else because the little stuff becomes big stuff as time goes on...

Answer 6

I have been married 32 years, and table manners are one thing I will never win, he thinks that because they were poor when he grew up there was no need for manners. We didn't have a lot of money, but table manners were very important in our family. When you are married or in a relationship you will have to choose your battles, how important is it really to you? You can't win them all, just decide which ones are worth fighting about.

Answer 7

Ohhh, I hate it too. Just reading your posts makes me cringe.

Try explaining to him, you love him and it doesnt matter to you that you were raised to think it is poor manners, as a matter of fact, leave manners out of it all together, and just calmly explain it literally hurts your ears, your sensitive to it, (and other people are too, if he says thats not true). Just ask him to be aware of it for you, and talk to him when you are NOT eating, that way he wont feel defensive.

Answer 8

That's a new on me ,but it would drive me nuts. Maybe he calls himself cleaning his teeth. We would have parted company a long time ago . it is probably nervous habit but it is annoying. I knew a man when he would eat chicken noodle soup he'd take that spoon and chop those noodles up. I told him bye, bye, be sure and he popping them noodles.

Answer 9

emmmmmmm ... u ought to do something he might dislike on the table too ... this way he knows how u make u feel at least while u guys eat ... '' eaing + manners = nails + hammers ... none can be complete without the other ''

Answer 10

my ex husband used to chew his food like a cow, also a rude & annoying habit, so I understand. No your not nitpicking!! Its rude. My adivce is to buy plastic forks, if he asks why tell him again.