We have lost the spark, should we still.....?

Question

We have been dating for 2 years, we planned on getting married with in a few weeks, but we have had a difficult few months with problems with other things (not our relationship). We just feel that we have lost that sprak that we use to have, but we still love each other. I am unsure of getting married when that spark just isn't there - it's just other things in life caused that feeling to go away. We live together right now, we love each other and want the same things, but What should I do?

Answer 1

Feeling that "spark" isn't about being in love. If you feel like you are still in love with him than maybe what you are going through is stress from the wedding. Weddings can be very overwhelming and can make you feel things that you never thought you would. So maybe you guys should get away together and just forget about the wedding while your are away and focus on each other. I'll bet you can find those sparks again. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 2

Life living together and life married isn't all that different especially if you share bills and housework and such. Every couple loses to the spark. And every couple about to be married gets cold feet. It could be a number of things. As you said outside influences have changed your perception of each other. It could be you fear commitment and being tied down (marriage doesn't work that way but it takes a while and a lot of work to see that)

I would highly recommend that you seek premarital counseling. They can sort out why you feel this way. Does your fiance feel the same way? I wouldn't call the wedding off. But you might consider postponing it. If you don't feel you aren't ready to be married, there's nothing that says you can't hold off until you feel you do. That doesn't mean you two love each other less or aren't "meant" to be together, it just means that there is a lot in your lives that needs to be addressed before you marry. Premarital counseling can help a lot. Be sure you are totally ready to accept the responsibility and work of marriage before entering into it. But don't be afraid of the commitment. Your fiance is in this for you as well. Trust your fiance to support you just as you will support your fiance.

In other words, don't trust us on Yahoo answers. What do we really know about your lives and relationship? =) Talk to your fiance about this.

Good luck.

Answer 3

The chemicals that cause the initial attraction in the beginning of a relationship are replaced latter on with other chemicals that cause a more comfortable feeling with the other person.
Most people think that because they no longer feel that excitement, that they are no longer in love but it's not necessarily true. It's that the relationship is more mature and stable.
Only the 2 of you can determine if this more stable love that you now have, is worthy of a long term commitment to each other.

Answer 4

My friend had this same problem. They got married anyways and she got pregnant immediately. That was two years ago and now she cant stand for him to even kiss her. You really need to think things thru before you end up like my friend (who by the way has an appointment with a divorce lawyer in two days.) Maybe you should postpone to wedding so you have more time to think!

Answer 5

maybe you both are just stressed about the wedding. if you both still really love eachotehr and if you think you can make it then i would get married. but make sure you guys are willing to work out your problems and tink that you can make it together forever. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 6

The answer to this question cannot be obtained here from others, this must come from inside you, only you know what has caused this and if it can be rekindled. Best wishes.