Why won't my boyfriend just stop smoking pot for me?

Question

My boyfriend smokes pot and I am verrry against it. I hate the thought of him getting high and acting stupid with his friends. He originally told me that if it ended up being a problem for us he would stop. Eventually, it became a big problem, i finally asked him to stop (after numerous fights about this) and he said he would. He promised to stop and yet continued to do it behind my back MANY times for over a year. We would fight, he would say it was the end of it, and he would be smoking up the next day. These are the reasons he has told me about why he wont stop: 1) HE DOESNT WANT TO BE MY ***** AND LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I SAY. 2) HE LIKES SMOKING IT and he doesn't see anything wrong with it.
He says he loves me. I totally dont understand what his problem is. Why can't he just stop? He always puts his friends and pot before me, and Im just there with him if he doesnt have other plans. Help! Keep in mind that even though he smokes alot, he does have a future and 2 jobs.

Answer 1

He's addicted to pot, you knew this going in, and now you have to either accept it or dump him and hope the shock of losing you gets him to figure out which is more important. You're probably off just finding someone who shares your mindset on drugs.

Answer 2

Simple. Tell him that you know he is smoking pot, and you would like it to stop. It's either you, or the pot. Personally, I think you should dump him anyway. In a year or two, you both will be driving. This is what usually happens. You get pulled over. He has pot hidden in his pants. He puts it under his seat. Cop notices the faint smell of pot. Cop searches the car. You, the driver, get charged with the pot, and your boyfriend walks away saying "It's not mine." It happens.

Answer 3

this is a major issue and shouldn't be taken lightly. you knew he was a pot smoker when you got with him. and to expect him to change on your behalf is ridiculous. it really is.
and you did state he puts you behind as his priority. look, i have to ask, where do you see yourself in 5 years? still with him as is? kids? house? women's biggest mistake is trying to change him. men change if they want to. if you are a big enough effort to do so. you need a man that will make you his priority. and as much as this sucks to hear it.....this one won't do it. and men do make you a priority if they love you. i found one that does. so they are out there.
and btw....mine smokes pot too. he smoked it when we were dating. i smoked with him. we are now married. i don't smoke it now.....but when it becomes legal i plan to take it back up again.

Answer 4

why would you go with a person who smokes pot if you're against it?That's a headache for you and a head blower for him.You are the one who needs to change,change boyfriends so he can find a girl that will accept him and not try to nag him to change,people change when they feel the need,not because some one else feels the need.

Answer 5

Give him an ulitmatum. You or pot. It is this simple: If he cannot stick to his word on this subject how do you think he will be with other things down the road. Love means that you listen to your partner and trust them. He seems to do neither. You have to ask yourself what you want out of the relationship and what really attracts you. My guess is that he is good looking but not too bright. I hope you find resolution. Happy Holidays.

Answer 6

His list of priorities:

Pot
Friends
Girlfriend

You either have to accept it, or move on, because he is clearly not going to change.

Answer 7

because he likes pot( because it is addictive ) better than you.according to him,he can lose a girl but he can't lose his dream.

Answer 8

End the relationship as he values Pot more than he values you

Answer 9

I man like that is not worth it. Leave and leave fast and dont look back