In highschool I experienced my first love, passionate head-over heels love. We fought passionately and were both stubborn, but when it was good it was SO good. We were together for almost 3 years, (age 16-19) knew and loved eachothers family,(and vice versa) helped eachother thru some of the hardest things we ever thought we'd go through, but being young and fighting he decided to end it and I accepted it and moved on. Shortly after, I started dating a man 9 years older, (I have seen the ex a couple times out and about) and moved in with this older man , 2years later we got married. Months after the wedding my ex popped into my head and ever since I cant stop thinking, dreaming, about him, I get sick to my stomach with anxiety, and heartache, I cry. I dont know what to do? My husband is such a good guy, he treats me well, provides for us, but I dont feel that passionate head-over heels love for him like I should for my husband. I love my husband but am in love with my ex. I NEED HELP!
2006-12-11 06:19:06 · 12 answers · asked by :D 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are in love with love. If you stop to think about this more, you will realize that you are missing something with your husband, PASSION!! You and he can rekindle that passion that once was, but not with your ex. This is a thing of the past that needs to stay there. You are in love with what once was!!
2006-12-11 06:24:29 · answer #1 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
!!!!!purple FLAGS purple FLAGS purple FLAGS!!!!! "i'm in order that very lots inlove" " I purely love him greater well-known" "i think so finished!!!" I. . . I. . . I. . . I. . . WHAT approximately HIM??? You emotions aer ALL approximately YOU, organic selfishness, and that's a extensive possibility sign. you at the instant are not thinking approximately marriage for the dazzling motives. dazzling now, those are your OVARIES conversing. What you describe is LUST, not love. that's an imporant step,. whether it's going to be controlled so as which you are going to see real existence. Having intercourse is a reward for a existence properly led, not the thank you to maintain a boyfriend. you're too youthful to appreciate what LOVE ability, and your question proves it. Love is approximately admire and fact and TRUSTWORTHYNESS. Love is approximately selflessness and compromise and forgiveness. Love is approximately putting the different guy or woman first and youor self final. We DATES human beings so as that we are in a position to benefit to shield those issues. the greater human beings we date, the greater helpful we grow to be at being incredibly in love. You the two choose lots greater time --approximately 5 years. YOUR concepts won't attain emotional adulthood until you're approximately 25. HIS won't get there until approximately 27. until that element, pass to college, get a level, and get a start up on a occupation. this might help end the variety 2 reason for Divorce -- loss of money (because of the fact which you have unfavorable jobs). in case you marry in the previous age 25, there is an extremely super possibility that your marriage would be tough and rocky, and could fail in the previous your 5th anniversary. Immature youngsters, unfavorable educations, unfavorable jobvs == a definite sign of divorce. stay in love, by using all ability, yet WAIT until you're the two older than 25.
2016-10-18 03:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Passion fades... What happens when you get years down the road with kids and the arguments and bad times continue?? Do you teach your kids to accept chaos as a way of life??? The grass is always greener over the other side of the fence... Did you live with your ex 24/7??? You never know until you do that and you never know even then... I just found out a man I thought was stable and true to me is addicted to internet porn and visited a whore house.. Would have never expected it... What is love anyway?? It isn't the passion and romance... It's who is there when you need them and who you can trust and turn to... What happens when the "romance" and "infatuation" dies in your mid-40's and the sex drive isn't there anymore???
2006-12-11 06:26:10 · answer #3 · answered by Its me!!! :) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If u accepted to break up with him when u guys were younger then u didnt love him enough to try and fight for him or to stay in the relationship. You seem to have a good man by your side and its hard for good men to come by.
what u might be feeling about ur ex is just lust, maybe u r fantasizing about him. Dont break up a good marriage that u have for someone u cant and wont be sure about. Try doing things with your husband, spice up things in the bedroom. This ex of yours could probably just want a one night stand with you and nothing more. think about it. good luck
2006-12-11 06:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by gonzalezleon3022 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where were these feelings for your ex the whole two years that you and your husband dated?
If they've come up all of a sudden, maybe you are looking for an "out" - a way to escape your current relationship. Maybe you don't have sexual feelings for your current husband?
Maybe you never did have sexual feelings for your current husband and you just didn't want to be alone, or thought those feelings would come eventually? I don't know. Whatever the case may be, you need to figure out what your feelings for your husband are, because if you don't have any for him, you CAN'T make yourself feel. No one chooses who they are attracted to. We can't turn attraction on and off like water from a faucet.
If you are sexually attracted to your husband, then you need to think about what is missing from the relationship and talk to him about those things. Your attraction to your ex, if you ever acted on it, may be a huge disappointment.
2006-12-11 06:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello. This is the real world, not fantasy island. And what happens when you no longer feel "in love" with the next guy. Wake up and keep a good man. Bored people are boring. Make yourself more interesting and your marriage will blossom!
2006-12-11 06:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
concentrate on your marriage, live in reality, not your memories, besides the mind has a way of making things look better than they really were, especially when you are facing the day to day stuff with your husband, it's not always going to be passionate unless you work at it!
2006-12-11 06:26:04 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what you did wrong was to get into a new relationship before totally healling from the break up. Your married now make it work and maybe talk to a counsler and also sounds like you are going threw depression go to doctor get something for it. good luck
2006-12-11 06:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by wendy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never get over the first.
2006-12-11 06:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You now must grow up and put childish things behind you. Honor yur vows and do your part to make this work.
2006-12-11 06:26:00 · answer #10 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋