When my husband and first got together, him being a Jehovah's Witness and me being Catholic, we agreed that our beliefs would both be taught to our son in a way that it would not conflict. (Crazy?) We never had a problem but we are now going through a separation and my son brought to my attention that his father told him that Santa doesn't exist. My son is seven, and fortunately he didn't take what his dad told him very serious and still believes in Santa. On top of this he also went ahead and explained that God "gets mad at you" for celebrating different holidays! I was very upset, as you can imagine, and I now wonder if there are any restrictions as to what he can say to my son about my beliefs, since I have never interfered with what he teaches him about his own. Any thoughts?
2006-12-11 06:16:07 · 14 answers · asked by pomona_grrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Religion is not regulated, per se, by any government entity in the United States.
Jehovah's Witnesses are a well-known, well-respected religion, particularly in the United States. Over a million Witnesses knock on doors each month, and about another million associate themselves less formally. Their teachings are biblical and relatively conservative.
No court is going to make any divorce decision based solely on the religion of one or the other spouse.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org
2006-12-11 23:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by achtung_heiss 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Civil divorces or separations are much "cleaner" than religious divorces or separations. If the custody or raising of the child is joint that is where the problem could be. What his father told him about celebrating different holidays is non-sense, but also inappropriate for a child of 7. He told his son that as an affront to you. I don't know of any restrictions that can be placed on a parent, however, if you have not been ostracized by the Catholic Church, I would talk to a priest and get his input on how best to handle the situation. No doubt, he would like the child to be raised Catholic, however, that's not why you want the priest's advice. Think about it.
2006-12-11 06:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd talk to the lawyer about what your ex is doing to your son. If there isn't anything he can do legally about what your ex is teaching your son, then, the best you can do is take your son to church where other adults will confirm to him that God does not get mad at your for having holidays. Celebrating the birth of Christ at Christmas is a wonderful thing. Just keep teaching him your religion and let your ex do his thing and your son will have both sides of the coin and someday make his own decision. Tell him that religion was just one area in which you and his father did not agree. He'll understand that. He won't get a gift from Daddy and he will get a gift from you....he'll understand that,too.
2006-12-11 06:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage your son to embrace things that make him happy. Explain God is about joy and love. Tell him God loves him and he doesn't have to worry about God being mad at him because he's just a kid. Assure him that there will be plenty of time for the serious religious stuff when he's all grown up but right now his job is being a kid.
Children should not be burdened by religious beliefs they cannot fully understand. It takes away their innocence.Now that you are divorced you can celebrate the holidays as you fit. Happy Holidays.
2006-12-11 06:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by genuine1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are not restrictions about parents telling their children things-
You can counter with more information for your son and let him decide on his own. 7 yr olds are smarter than most people give them credit for.
Explain that his father is a jahovus (however you spell that dang religion) and that is what they believe. Not celebrating hollidays, or birthdays.
But Catholics (you) believe in the birth, death, and resurection of Jesus christ and that is how you show love to the Lord. By giving and loving, but not only on those hollidays, yet the hollidays give you a chance to show more people your love for humans and for God.
Remind him that his relationship with God is his personal journey and it is up to him to talk to God and figure out what is right for him. Also let him know that he is only 7 and God is a loving, forgiving God, so even if he does make a couple mistakes right now, it will be ok.
2006-12-11 06:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.. this one is touchy, to say the least.
In most states, the adoption and teaching of religions is to be agreed upon by both parents. But what you teach inside your own home is of no business of the court, unless it is detrimental to the child (whereas the burden of proof conflicts).
You need to sit your child down and carefully explain to him that there are specific differences between your two religions, and that you will do your best to stick to the teachings of yours only, and provide him with what he will need to become the best person in life he can.
When your child gets to the point in life where he can make his own mind up, he'll look at what you taught him, and hopefully, make the best decision he can about what's morally right.
That's all you can do....
2006-12-11 06:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by rollng_thundr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its selfish of your husband to tell your son there is no Santa and God gets mad when celebrating different holidays. what a jerk he is. If your son has always believed in Santa and celebrated Christmas, then this must continue, sounds like your husband is cruel and trying to get back at you through your child. Good luck and tell your child Daddy is joking and God isn't angry, this is just what Daddy believes.
2006-12-11 06:19:21 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good luck...
Now you know why 2 different religions can't get along.
JWs are very hard to sway. In fact, they never do.
There's really no way to stop him from attempting to brainwash your son.
Your advantage...Since his dad doesn't believe in holidays, he won't have him during those times to mess him up.
You can show your son that many places in the bible people have celebrations.
2006-12-11 06:27:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is something that can be outlined and regulated through the divorce proceedings. You can make a list of things you do and don't want your son to believe in as well as your husband and a mediator can outline what will and won't be said. Any breech in that could be problematic though...Good Luck!
2006-12-11 06:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ducky S 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hate to be the one to break this to you, but...
...a seven year old who still believes in Santa has worse problems than a mother who insists on pagan worship.
Incidentally, God does hate pagan worship.
2006-12-11 07:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by PFSHJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋