I left the town they had been born in because I married someone who lived a couple of towns away. I stupidly sold our home and moved to his. That was about two and a half years ago. The marriage is now over. The girls now want to stay in the town we moved to. I don't really want to. I work in the town we left.
I am willing to stay in this town for them though. The problem I am having is finding a place I can afford on my own. If we went back to the town we were from it would not be a problem. Should I force them to move or should I find something here for them? I might be able to swing an apartment.
Anyone have any experience or words of wisdom. I want what is best for the kids.
2006-12-11 06:06:27 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As one whose family is highly mobile due to career field ; I fully understand your apprehension about relocating. Kids feel secure in familiar settings. However, what's best for the kids is that mommy be able to adequately support them. Don't let their emotions( which is based largely on inexperience and their inability to see the big picture) dictate such a serious decision. Promise them that they can come back to visit and that returning to live there is always a possibility. They will adapt and be okay as long as they are with you. You are the most important person that they need in their lives. The won't be happy in the beginning because kids don't like change but eventually they will adapt and be just as happy as they are now. Good Luck and remember that YOU are the Parent and the responsbility is yours. Don't look to them to make it all right for you.
2006-12-11 06:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are less than an hour from work in the town where you live, do your girls a favor and stay until they get out of high school. That's not too many years away, and teens hate leaving their friends. My parents moved me two states away from all my friends and my first boyfriend. I forgave them and got over it eventually, but it did affect me greatly at the time. So, if you can avoid moving, please do stay. (Sometimes kids have to buck up and go because the parents' need outweighs the kids' happiness, but if this isn't the case, stay.) They'll be happier in a small place with their friends than in a larger place without their friends. With so many other things in their lives unstable (no dad), they need the security a home and friends will give them. And they'll know their mother sacrificed to give that to them (maybe not now, but when they are older they will realize.)
2006-12-11 15:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor girls. This is hard because what is ultimately best for the girls is that they have a roof over their heads and food to eat. To provide this you may need to "force" them to move back, but what a terrible thing to have to pull them away from their friends... but then again, if you do move back then their friends can certainly visit them.
I think in this situation you need to do what you can AFFORD to do and they'll just have to go along with it.
2006-12-11 14:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by CyndiDrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are at that age wher the dvelope friends for life. If they move agin they may end up having attachment issues. Talk to them and tell them you'll stay for one more school year and see how things go but if you can't afford it then you just can' stay. be honest with them and they will understand.
2006-12-11 14:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always found that the best way to get along with my daughters was to lay down and take off my belt so when they kicked me they wouldn't hurt their toes or chip a nail or anything. You might try sitting them down and lay your financial cards on the table and see just how mature they are. Good luck.
2006-12-11 14:28:12 · answer #5 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH YES...It's DEVISTATING on kids to move.
Sure they'll grow out of it but they're depressed all the time until then.
Ask them...Tell them that you won't be able to afford anything extra that they might want to do if you stay.
2006-12-11 14:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you want to do whats right for your girls, but you also have to do what is right for everyone in this situation. Do what you need to do and everything will work out. Good Luck, and Merry Christmas.
2006-12-11 14:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already changed their lives a time or two. find a place where they want to be.
2006-12-11 14:10:16 · answer #8 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋