My husband and I have been married a year. He never shows me any affection. All he ever does is sit on a ******* ps2. We are newly weds and only have sex maybe twice a month. He likes to go out at about midnight and stay out for 2-3 hours and he says that he needs his time to himself. What I don't understand is why would he need to go out if he never pays any attention to me. I've tried everything I know to do to get his attention, but he gets mad when I disturb him and his game. He sits on his game from the time he gets home from work until about midnight and then he leaves. And he makes sure to let me know that he doesn't want me to go with him. He actually gets mad if I push going with him. I need advice.
2006-12-11 06:04:52 · 28 answers · asked by punkins_wife121705 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Push going with him. Let him get mad, but don't let him go alone. Pick a night when you're going to have plenty of energy to fight him about it, and just tag along. Don't let him out of your sight. Hide his game systems. Make him ask you where they are. When he asks, say something like, "Oh, I'd tell you, but I'm too busy thinking about how cute you are naked." Let him get mad. Don't drag it out too long, though, tell him after he asks two or three times. Get him to interact with you these ways. Let him get mad about it, but force the issue of interaction. On nights that he interacts with you without having to do these, don't do anything. If he comes home and says, "I'm home, honey... how was your day?" get the game system out and hook it up for him. Good behavior gets rewarded, bad behavior gets *him* mad. Don't get mad at him, though. It doesn't sound like this is a change, you're trying to change him now, and good luck on that. You're the one that married him, you can't get mad at him being the one you married.
2006-12-11 06:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats not good a marriage should not be based that way i have been married 3 1/2 years and i am 25 and my husband isn't that way. I would tell him if he does not change then you will divorce him and see what he saids and if he shows that he does not care then you have your answer and do what you need to do to be happy anyways there are a lot of men and one will eventually make you very happy and show you affection can you even dream of living your whole life like this i know i couldn't i would have drop him
2006-12-11 06:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by coolmesillyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The leaving at midnight and being gone several hours thing is what concerns me. That, to me, is VERY suspicious behavior and you have a right to know where he's going and what he's doing in the middle of the night.
As for the rest, he sounds very juvenile and unwilling to listen, and clearly has no respect for your feelings.
I think you really need to think about whether this is how you want to live your entire married life. If things are like this after only a year...just imagine how it will be in 5 years.
2006-12-11 06:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by Heather C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He obviously isn't ready for a relationship with a woman. He plays games and is probably with another woman. Ask him out right if he wants to get an anullment.
Doesn't sound like he's into you. You two obviously made a mistake. No since being miserable and winding up with a child who will suffer because of the loveless marriage.
Move on honey. There is a man who will love and desire you and not some childish game and leave to be with another woman. Wake up!
2006-12-11 06:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by latietee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sure this is a terrible time for you. But you have to do what is right for you. You have to make yourself happy. I would say that he is having an affair but of course that would be me judging him by a paragraph. It just doesnt sound good that he is brushing you off, and leaving at all hours of the night. Playing video games is one thing but when it starts to interfere with a marriage is another. If talking to him doesnt work then you need to take the next step of seperating. Good Luck to you!
2006-12-11 06:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by Kail 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are growing pains. You guys are young, just got married. He wants to avoid growing up - this is common.
I'm not saying it's OK - just common. Talk (not nag, whine, complain) about the problem. Tell him you're serious.
The most IMPORTANT thing for married people to do is talk so the other will listen. No hinting, no beating around the bush, no "I sort of warned him".... you MUST learn to express what you want and need and expect and ask him what he needs. You might not like eachother's answers, at least at first, but in order to build a strong marriage you must KNOW the other person - in ways unhappily married or recently (<5 years) people cannot understand.
2006-12-11 06:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suspect a cheater. If you confront him he will just deny it, so you will have to find out for yourself. I am kind of sneaky, but i would either follow him one night, or have a friend follow him to see where he is going and what he is doing. Or you could call one of those invesitgators. If he is cheating, leave him. If he is not, then it is still unfair that he is leaving you alone for hours in the middle of the night. I would talk to him about that, and let him know how you feel. And for the sex thing (if he's not a cheater), does he have a porn collection? Because my boyfriend did, and it really made a problem for our sex life, because he was going to porn, instead of me, we talked about it, it took a while, but it got better.
Good Luck, i hope you find out whats going on.
2006-12-11 06:12:42 · answer #7 · answered by Stark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm... how old is this *man*?
You never saw any evidence of this issue before you got married?
As for staying out for 2-3 hours past midnight, and telling you that you have to right to go.. is BS! You're his wife, and if you want to go, GO. So what if he gets mad... sounds like he's used to getting what he wants when he wants it.. and you need to pull the strings a little tighter.
2006-12-11 06:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by rollng_thundr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is either:
cheating on you
running and doing drugs that are affecting his libido
or a member of the Mafia working as a hit man and can't take the idea of killing people all the time and then making love to a woman like nothing is wrong.
Take your pick of the above. Which is most credible?
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-12-11 06:08:43 · answer #9 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is sleeping with someone else as much as you probably don't want to here that, but if he is leaving the house after midnight that's what he's most likley doing .I would tell him that if he want's time to himself he should do it at a decent time of the day because the only thing that's open that ltime of the night are legs and thighs........
2006-12-11 06:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋