should I nask the question or not??

Question

Ive been dating this girl for over a year and a half shes been married twice and divorced twice ,I ve been divorced my self and weve been through alot over her past a million times shes saying shes not ready for me every day but we never find are selfves apart for a very long time , I own my own hjome and she rents and Im never there... she is on anitdeppressants right now and everything is fine but I wonder if there is a monster inside just waiting for her to say she needs her space!!!...
Im trying to make this short But im willing to sell my house adn move in with her since its mostly how we live now .
I would ask her in a heart beat to marry me,in fact I almost thought about trying to get her pregnant to help her get over her past,, I know thats not fair but I want to say it

Any help for me!!

Answer 1

If you want to create a human life in order to get her over her past issues, you're not going to make a very good father. You need therapy as much as she does if you think she's a good choice for you.

Answer 2

I know how much my home means to me and all I can say is don't sell it yet. Don't ask her to get married and don't try to get her pregnant. The best of all worlds would be if she wanted what you want.
Bringing a child into this situation won't make anything better, in fact that would be the worst thing right now. A child deserves to have two parents who ideally would both love each other some what the same.
I think you need to give this relationship more time, its better to be safe than sorry. If you push her, you just might be pushing yourself right out the door. Her saying that she is not ready for you everyday, seems pretty clear to me. Let patiences be your reward.
If she is still dealing with the past perhaps it would be helpful if she had some counseling.

Answer 3

Wow. Married twice and failed twice, I would say this girl has some commitment problems amongst other things. Why have her marriages failed? What makes you think it wouldn't fail with you? Are you ready to take on someone with depression problems? Exactly what type of anti-depressants is she taking? Is it prozac or something minor or major like lithium and is her problem depression or something more severe like bi-polar 1 disorder? Are you considering marriage because you're lonely or afraid or just want someone, anyone, in your life? These are things you need to know. If she says she's not ready, don't push, let it be. Also, pregnancy is not a way to get over the past. Children are not band-aids, they are alot of work, and will create stress you can't even imagine if you don't have any now. Don't bring a child into the world until you are completely at peace in your relationship or that child will end up paying for your mistakes. If she is prone to depression- she may end up with post-partum depression and then how will you handle it when she can't bond with her new baby or ends up killing herself over it? Lots to think about... make your decisions wisely...

Answer 4

If she she's she not ready. That means she not ready. Getting married or pregnant would be a mistake. From what you've described a marriage started now would end in divorce and a baby would break you two up not keep you together. If you love her you will respect he wishes.
I will say, it sounds that you really want to get married again. You might want to find out if she just needs time or has she decided she doesn't want to be married again at all. If so she might not be the one for you. Relationships are about compromise but if you can't get anything you want out of the situation, you maybe in the wrong relationship, and you need to be open to that possibility.

Answer 5

Dionne, it sounds to me as if maybe you both are subconsciously using the relationship as an enabler of some sort. Somehow, thinking that the other person might just fill some void and actually isn't the right person.
As far as selling your house goes, I would definitely say no. That's all you have. If something doesn't go as planned, then what? Cover your arss. Considering the track history you two have, wouldn't it be wiser to be safe than sorry?
I would have to think so. Good luck with it all.

Answer 6

Thers no reason to sell your home,and trying to make her get pregnant if its not something she really wants can cause more problems. Sticking by her side showing her you love her, finding out what her fears are and her knowing that your not like her ex's is the way to her heart.

Don't rush her for something you know shes not ready for! That will put a wedge between the two of you instead of pulling you together. Good luck!

Answer 7

You should get the book "The Hard Questions" - by Susan Piver and go over the questions with her. This is an honest way to get each other's oppinion about marriage, children, etc so you will both know where each other stand on such topics. I went over it with my b/f and I am glad we did, so we would know if we are meant to be or not. Now we live together, been together as a couple for 4 yrs.

Answer 8

Time to have a serious discussion with her. If she doesn't want to get married, would she be willing to move in with you? If no, then you are probably best off trying to move on. Definitely DO NOT try to get her pregnant! That is just wrong and a poor excuse for bringing a child into this world.

Answer 9

You both have issues. Don't get married and don't bring an innocent child into this mess, for crying out loud.
Grow up. Be mature. Find out why both of your marriages ended. Get lots of counseling...then and only then should you even consider marriage

Answer 10

a year and a half is not that long honey. be patient and when she's ready you will know or she'll tell you. don't rush into things let your romance happen naturally. you've both been married and divorced so do it right this time and wait. stick by her and she'll know you love her. when the time is right you will both be ready. happy holidays! :)