What can I do to improve me sex life with my husband. No jokes either only real anwsers.?

Question

I am 23 been married 3 years and I think that he gets bored with me. I dont know what else to do to make it better. He is always online looking at porn. What can I do to tear him away from the computer and get him to notice me?

Answer 1

It'll be impossible unless he agrees to stop the porn- he doesn't need you anymore if he has his porn. The problem with porn is:
- You will feel "cheated on" by your partner because he needs something other than you in order to become aroused.
- You will feel insecure about your body, your sexuality and your ability to satisfy your partner.
- You will feel emotionally distant and separate from your partner during sex, worrying that he is not completely "there" with you.
- You will feel angry and resentful towards your partner for not respecting your feelings..
- You will eventually feel turned off to sex, since for you, it is associated with humiliation, control and a feeling of inadequacy.

If nothing gets through to him, then it’s time for some professional help.

Answer 2

Your #1 problem, is that he is looking at porn on the Internet. In my opinion that is a huge reason why men cheat, is because they get involved in that fantasy world. You be his fantasy...Find out what really gets him going...like maybe lingerie...or they have some pretty cool games you can buy at the Adult store. Just talk to him and ask him and try to find out why the spark died out. The number one thing in a relationship is COMMUNICATION. If it is really bothering you that he is looking at porn on the Internet, tell him about it. Just tell him that you want him to pay attention to you, you are flesh and blood and you are going to be there for him, not some tramp on the Internet. Think back to the time when you first fell in love... What are the things you used to do together?? I wish I could give you more advice. Just get him away from the porn and into you. I was with a guy who was addicted to porn so I know what it leads to, I was with him for 9 years of he!!.
Hang in there Hun. I wish there was more advice I could give to you. Luckily I finally found a guy that despises Porn and we have been married for 8 years.

Answer 3

Porn is a bad thing. I believe it's something that can ultimately wreck a marriage. You should get some counseling if possible, go alone if he won't go but together if he's willing. We men are bombarded daily with fantasy. Standing up and taking responsibility for where and what we look at is a test of maturity. Men are usually visually orientated, whereas women usually respond more to words and touch. I believe that allowing your husband to participate in pornography is a form of unfaithfulness to you.

Answer 4

Have you tried games? Toys? Lingerie? Watch the porn together? What about role playing? Different places other than the bed room? My husband is at a loss for creativity. He thinks the weirder the position, the better. I have to coax him into something else. Good luck!

Answer 5

Have you tried turning him on through out the day and making it build up for the night. It is always nice to be wild and sexy. Buy lingerie that will surprise him. Try having sex in different and even spontaneos places just to show him how much you want him. Give him that look that says i want you right now. And make sre you just give him hints throughout the day that is very important...i hope this helps a little..be confident and when in bed push up and squeeze tight...even when he is on top make sure u are moving also...

Answer 6

Talk to him, seriously--pornography has ruined family and marriages. Please note some info you might want to share with him up front:

*** yp chap. 26 pp. 208-209 Urge? ***

As Ernest van den Haag, an assistant professor at New York University, said: “Pornography invites us to perceive others only as pieces of meat, as objects of exploitation for the sake of our own sensations of pleasure.”(Sooner or later, that is how he may view you)

Pornography further presents a warped, idolized view of sex that often leads to marital problems. Says one young wife: “Reading pornography caused me to desire with my husband the abnormal things portrayed in the books. This led to constant frustration and a letdown sexually.”
A 1981 survey was conducted among several hundred women regarding the effects of pornography on their rapport with the men in their lives who read it. Nearly one half reported that it caused serious problems. It actually destroyed some marriages or engagements. One wife lamented: “I can only assume by [my husband’s] need and desire for sexual release with pornography that I am inadequate . . . I wish to God I were a woman who could satisfy him, but he prefers plastic and paper and his need has destroyed a part of me. . . . Pornography is . . . anti-love . . . It is ugly, cruel and destructive.”

You might show him this quote & simply ask him is this what he would prefer rather than you. He could indeed loose you one way or another, speak turkey to him, because this situation will not get better by itself. What will he do next do keep up this addiction. Like any addiction the high has to be escalating otherwise there is no thrill. The next step could be practicing self-abuse while viewing this junk, .... there is no end to what perversions this could lead to.
What he is doing is abusing you in a serious emotional way. If you have tried your best in your personal looks, family efforts, erotic activity with him & do most anything that is natural in your love making (meaning not being a prude), that is good. The problem is not with you.

If you want to save your marriage, you need to take some serious steps. If this situation has been going on for a while, in just 3 years of marriage--it is indeed more urgent.

Answer 7

first off looking at porn in a sense is cheating you as a wife should not allow it or put up with it alot of people are going to freak about that comment but my opinion is its wrong how do you get him away from it? sit down and have a discustion that its not ok at all and you wont put up with it I mean come on how rude can you be and how in the hell could you compete with fantasies, if he dicides to respect you and be done with it and you move on which I hope You let him know he can tell you any fantasies that are respectful to your marriage and try to participate in them as much as possible wether its different posistions or like my boyfriend and I sometimes dont act them out but just talk about it while having sex seems to be almost as good for him, just let loose alittle bit and my boyfriend also says he likes to know I really want him in a sexual way like I guess meaning make advances twords them in a wanting type of way, anyways Good Luck Kim

Answer 8

There could be a lot of reasons for what he is doing, have you talked with him about them? Try doing something that would get him in a good mood that you know he likes, and then bring up the subject gradually, without putting him on the spot. It may be that there is something he would like you to do, or it may just be his way of coping with other things going on. Good luck to you.

Answer 9

I know how u feel..My hubby doesn't look at porn so I can't help u on that but other than that I am in the same boat.. try giving him massages, prepare a nice meal. Give him some alone time with u... ...
Try and talk to him...

Answer 10

This is not your fault, he might well be a Sex Addict and in being so will never be satifisfied. I would recommend visiting a councelor and discussing this. He will be very reluctant at first but you must persevere or this problem will not go away.

Sexual Addiction is a big problem in this country and it is just as dangerous if not more so than alocholism and drug abuse.