How to tell wife baby's name is not good?

Question

Hi. By way of background . . . I am a 54 year old jewish man from Yonkers who is married to a 24 year old black woman from texarkana. We are expecting our first child, a daughter, in march. We are having trouble agreeing to a name. She has her heart set on the following: Kaiesha Kashandra Dupree Eisenberg. I am MORTIFIED by this name and would have so much embarrassment even introducing her to my work associates. How do I tell my wife what I think of the name without offending her? Or do you think the name is OK?

Answer 1

That's what you get for marrying a moolie.

Answer 2

Okay, remember first off that she's pregnant, so YES worry about offending her! I personally think that not only is 4 names WAAAY over the top, but it's going to be a LOT for her to yell when her daughter is in trouble! I read one suggestion on here...stand on the front porch and YELL that name REAL loud, 'cause that's what you'll be doing for the next 18 years!

I would tell her that you disagree w/ the name and TRY to compromise! Do think about it first and prepare, so you bring some of your suggestions to the table--keeping BOTH heritages in mind!

Answer 3

This is your wife, you should be able to discuss this with her without anybody going postal. Does she like these names because they are names of relatives or friends, or is she kind of making them up as she goes along?. IMO, if you can reach a compromise on just the first name, then she can put anything she wants in between that and the last name. Most people don't use middle names for everyday. Also, take into consideration that you want her to be able to spell her name by the time she goes to kindergarten.

Answer 4

My best dog was named Kysha.

I do not like Kaiesha for a child though, not at all.

I think you should tell her you cant accept that name. The child is both of yours, and compromise can be made.

My husband LOVES the name Malachi, but I loved the name Thane. I relented to Malachi because its a stong biblical name, and I'd rather our son have the name his father chose for him. So we settled on Malachi Thane.

There are pleanty of unique names that you and your wife can consider before settling on this one. To me, it reminds me of poor ethnic kids growing up in harlem, where their parents are teenagers and enjoy combining two prefixes of names together, or creating new names out of thin air. Sometimes its nice... but other times its like thats all the parent could give the child that they thought was pretty. Some weird name.

Comrpomise on with your wife, but dont settle for a name you cannot be confident about. That name represents the child, and you will always harbor resentment because the name doesnt suit you for the child.

Answer 5

I think you should just tell her the truth. Even if you do end up naming your baby girl that in the long run you won't care. Once you see her you won't care if your wife named her Cleatus! I have the same problem with my second son because his first name has a hypen, but he was named by daddy. Don't worry and enjoy this exciting time in your life everything will work out.

Answer 6

Gosh I don't blame you. Of course you kind of set yourself up for this situation.

Do you plan to raise the child as Jewish? Tell her that you have checked with the rabbi and this will not be an acceptable name.

Or, ask her if she will compromise to Keesha or Cassandra, which are essentially the same names, just not so blatantly spelled. And to one name.

Does your wife have an Ethnic name? If so your reasoning will be more difficult.

Answer 7

Tell her the truth!! And be a part of the naming process. Look at books with her and cross out ones you don't like and cirlce ones you like. Let her know you want to have some input on this too. I know many jewish families pick biblical names (don't know if this is an important thing to you) You could let her know this. You are the father.

Answer 8

That name is horrible! My friends mother wanted to name him Stuart, and his father wanted Alex. Well the mother won by total ***** factor and stuart hates his name, and we all call him something else.

Try a compromise, say, she gets middle name and you get first?
or whatever way you can work it. Don't let the kid get stuck with a horrible name! They have to carry it for life.
Also look into discrimination based on name as it applies to hiring. I'm pretty sure there was some study that a persons name influences their chance of getting a job. Horrible, but worth looking into.

Answer 9

My husband & I are having our second child. We both have come up with some horrible names. I thought mine were great, but he detested them. I was offended at first, but I realized he wasn't trying to offend me he was being honest. My husband and I continued to through names out there until we agreed on Anakin Drake for our first and Andrew Blake for the second. Plus this is your child too, and you should be a part of naming it.

Answer 10

No I do not like the name, I agree with you totally! But you need to be honest with her, if you are not that will be your daughters name. Suggest that you pick out names together and narrow it down to favorites. Is there names in her family or yours, maybe a grandmothers or mothers name that you would like to use?

Answer 11

You BOTH have to like this name. The child is both of yours.

Have you asked her why she likes this name? Are any of those names in her family? Get down to brass tacks with her, discuss what you like & don't like in a name, listen to what she has to say, and start discussing lots of name options (buy baby name books if you must.) Then start eliminating options until you have one that both of you can agree on.

As far as the name itself, it's not a terrible name. But if you really don't like it, try to think of nasty nicknames that someone named "Kaiesha" might be called on the playground. (I can't think of any off the top of my head, but given the endless cruelty of children, I'm sure there's nasty nickname possibilities.)