ARGG!! Input anyone?? Any thoughts?? Please help!!?

Question

Ok, its all started when I sent a text to my boyfriends phone, and I had said something in reply to him mom who was being completely unreasonable, and so I said "Wow, what a complete b ****" NOT in referance to her herself but to her actions. And well she took his phone to use it one day and went through his messages. And saw that. And she is taking it to the extreme, he had family come in to visit that I have never met and she proceeded to TELL THEM what I said!! Completely ruining my reputation before I could even KNOW THEM!! And I am so angry at her ignorance that I told him to NOT TALK to me at all and I know its not his fault but wow couldnt he say something?? STAND up for me tell her it wasnt her but her actions that I was angry at does she have a RIGHT to ruin my reputation?? January 1 2007 will be our one year anniversary. And I love him and plan to marry him, but I am so angry I find it nessesary to take it out on HIM!! Should I care at all?? What should I think??

I really plan to be seirous with him for my whole life. And having a bad reputation with his family is not a good start.

I should also add, that he agreed with me that she was acting of a "b ****" and being unreasonble...

Answer 1

His mother needs a phone of her own. That way, you can take it from her and read all her messages!! No... not really. She just needs to mind her own bloody business. If you felt strong enough to voice your opinion of her... or her actions... good for you!! She should respect that. And she should also respect her son's privacy and NOT read his messages. If she needs to use the phone to make a call, then that is all she should be doing.

And if he just sat there like a lump and let her rip into you, that's the way it's going to be for the rest of the relationship. He's obviously a mama's boy, and will never change.

Answer 2

Well first, you better control yourself and stop taking it out on him if you plan on having a future with him. As you said, it's not his fault. I fault you and his mom. You for texting something like that in the first place. From now on you know if you want to complain to NEVER put it in writing. You never know who will get a hold of it. It's also her fault for reading it in the first place. It wasn't her phone to read, unless he's a minor and she pays the bill, then it's free reign as far as I'm concerned, but if it is HIS phone and she borrowed it, she had no right. More than likely it will blow over, but you could help it along by having a nice chat with his mom. Tell her you are sorry for what you said, that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings. You need to be the bigger person, no matter how you feel about the situation and apologize. Don't try to justify what you said, just apologize and move forward. Don't harbor on what she did or what you said, it's now in the past. Learn from this and let it go. (the situation, not the boyfriend)

Whether he agreed with you or not is irrelevant. He's her son, she will always forgive him, you are his girlfriend, she's not required to forgive you. I wouldn't worry about your reputation with the rest of the family, I would try to mend fences with his mother and the rest will work itself out.

Answer 3

Maybe the mum really did make you angry but let's face it this is his mum. I think he can't stand up to his mum because this is the woman who raised him for all of his life and, even though it is wrong, she does have more control over him. Do you seriously want to marry this man and know that another important woman who he loves (his mom) does not like you. I think that you should apologize to the mother. It is the only solution and maybe you should also explain that you are genuinely interested in her son and that you would appreciate her support in this relationship. I think the mother is feeling a bit excluded in this whole matter so make the gesture to include her and everything will then be restored in peace. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

You're planning to marry a guy who can't even stand up for you? Bad move. Never marry a mamma's boy, she will always come before you. Also, the way she trashed you to the family that you plan to marry into shows that she is a woman who you will never be able to trust. And that brings the question of whether or not you can trust your fiance as well. One bit of advice however. Never text anything that can come back to bite you later.

Answer 5

I think you need to take responsibility for your actions. Yes his mom might have been a ***** but you are the one who wrote that text. What you should do is "eat crow" and go apologize to his mother. I understand that you never meant for her to see that but the damage is done and the only way out is to face up to it with him and his entire family. He might not have stood up for you because how do you defend someone calling your mother a *****? I'm not trying to anger you, just giving you an outsiders opinion and truely trying to help you make htis right. Family is an important thing, and the last thing you ever want to do in a relationship is to come between someone and their family. Trust me on that... The only way to resolve this issue is to bend over backwards and take this whole thing upon yourself. Then his mother will hopefully see how mature you are even if she doens't like you she might respect you.

Answer 6

Even if you were referring to her actions and not her personally, it doesn't matter. The damage is done. You can't take stuff like that back. As for him not standing up for you, I'm not sure that I would chose to stand up for someone I've only known for a year versus my own mother, and why should he? You won't even speak to him. Think of the drama you've created for him by sending that message! Whatever you did or didn't mean, you shouldn't say things like that about your perspective future mother in law, at least don't put them in writing for all to see!

Answer 7

I understand she is angry, she is only going by what you said, she thinks its about her and looked that way to her, she had no way of knowing what you meant by the text. She had every right to tell anyone she wanted, just as you had every right to say what you did. It works both ways. You need to talk to her in person and tell her exactly what you meant and it wasn't meant to hurt her or was actually calling her a name. And the bf, this isn't his problem to straighten out, you shouldn't take your mistake out on him, this is your load to carry, not his. Be a woman and make it good all by yourself. This will take a long time to forget on the future MIL part. Good luck, you have your work cut out for you.

Answer 8

I artwork for a healing using application, and we at the moment have 2 mules operating for us, even with the reality that we've had many contained in the previous. Mules can decision a great deal, reckoning on dad and mom. some are extra draft like if breed with a draft horse, different ought to nicely be extra basic if breed with an arabian or TB. between the mules contained in this technique is a large draft mule, and he or she takes on that "mushy massive" identify maximum draft horses get. the different one is a pony-type mule, who has that total "i'm higher and badder" concepts-set alot of ponies have. From the donkey area, many mules get their particular-footedness. it is also the position some ought to get their obdurate and significant to coach function. Mules can participate in virtually any sport. Many are considered logging or pulling carriages, yet i have considered some bounce, barrel race, rein, excitement rides. They make impressive path horses because of their ability to bypass longer and harder than maximum horses. In my journey they're alot extra aspect-headed then horses. A mule has a tendency to spook decrease than a horse. also keep in mind that like each and every horse, ever mule is different! No 2 mules are going to be an same, the picture of with horses.

Answer 9

I think maybe calling her a b**** was not a good thing even if you were talking about her actions. What you need to do is maybe talk to her and apologize tell her you are sorry if you hurt her feeling but this is what I meant. And tell her about your feelings about what she did to you. If you cant get along with your mothers boyfriend you are going to do nothing but harm your relationship. And stress you boyfriend out.

Answer 10

It was wrong on her side to read all of his messages, but you can't be mad at him for not standing up and defending you. When someone writes that about you you don't go thinking "ohhh, yeah she was talking about my actions and not me,,, wow now I'm cool with it"...; NO! you get MAD!!! You shouldn't talk about someone Else's mother with that vocabulary whether its actions or herself it's rude and there was really nothing else to do but apologize.
Don't be so stubborn and move on from that LITTLE incident.