i have been married almost six years i knew my husband was into latex well i found where he was posting pictures on the web and today i found a picture of him naked on my computer which was sent to someone now the picture was took a few years ago but it was put out recently now the problem is we moved three states away i was recently promoted with a great raise i not sure now to take the promotion or pack up and go home to my freinds where i will have no place to live or a job im very down right now i loved my life and now its over i cant forgive the naked photo im very home oriented person and totaly faithful so im pretty hurt
2006-12-11 05:21:46 · 11 answers · asked by Debbie W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Counseling. There seems to be an issue of total honesty here, which would hurt me more than any odd fetish my husband could have. Have you confronted him and asked WHY is he posting photos on the web? Is he an exhibitionist? Does this fulfill something for him? Can he control it or is it compulsive? At this point, I don't think you have grounds for divorce, but I do think you have grounds to search further. Get to the bottom of this- see how much you can find and then confront him about what's going on. See if this has to do with sexual complusion or if he is dissatisfied somehow in your relationship. My guess is compulsion and also fear of talking about it with you. Can you accept who he is? Can you somehow find a middle ground where the two of you can meet? It just does not feel like a lack of love- if feels like a lack of control. Get more information, then make decisions, and hopefully you can make them together. Good luck.
2006-12-11 05:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The male gender in general seems to have difficulty when it comes to dealing with hormones or "urges". Maybe he has a problem. Communication needs to come first. If talking or counseling does not break the tension or help ease your pain...then I think you should do what makes you happy. Take a risk. Take a promotion and start fresh. Trust and good communication are the two definate MUSTS in a relationship. You can't have one without the other. Sometimes life is painful...but the best rewards almost always follow. Don't give up on your marriage just yet....but don't deny yourself happiness either. Good luck to you!
2006-12-11 13:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by wilsonsarahmarie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek a professional counselor or a local Pastor to talk to immediately. You'll never get the help you need by asking someone on-line that you don't know or have the right credentials to really help you. This is too big a question for you to just go on today's feelings. I will say that maintaining your personal respect and integrity is crucial if there is any hope for a reconciliation and a regained trust between you. You can forgive him but trust must be earned. It's proven by what steps he's willing to go to to regain your trust back. God Bless you ma'am, take care of yourself.
2006-12-11 13:37:35 · answer #3 · answered by aquaman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't have to be over, unless you really want that, then this is your opportunity. As someone else stated, he may very well have an addiction to pornography or something else. It is a very difficult thing to deal with. People look down upon marriage counseling like it's only for those people who are completely disfunctional, but that's not the case. If you are both open to it you should try it. As to that, you should definitely tell your husband how it made you feel and that you can't be with someone doing those things, that you want him 100%. I wouldn't stop progressing and taking opportunities. If the job is something you really want, do it with or without him. I really hope it works.
2006-12-11 13:35:28 · answer #4 · answered by straightup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to leave your new promotion? Leave your husband and keep the promotion. You have to ask yourself if you were single and offered the same promotion would you move away from friends to take it? You have other options also, you can stay with your sick husband until you find a job back home and then leave him high and dry.
2006-12-11 13:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy to say move on and I won't! Make a strong commitment to your marriage and your husband. The internet is like a fantasy and dream world combined. It means no more then that. Posting a picture or enjoying pictures of others does not mean he loves you less - it just means he gets off on computer "relationships". It's like having a fantasy about some one at work and then finding some one on line who looks like that person and starting a "relationship". Did he act on the fantasy or just carry it to another degree?
When we take our vows and say till death do us part and for better or for worse - live that commitmant and make your marriage work for the two of you. Think about his and your needs and make the reality between the two of you fulfill that reality. best of luck...
2006-12-11 13:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by bobopro1020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about it? That should come first. You can work through some things. Are you sure that there is absolutely nothing that the two of you can do to make this marriage work before you call it quits?
2006-12-11 13:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look it was taken a while ago,speak to him.Don't let everything blow out of proportion due to someone elses jealousy,unless you cannot forgive him,then you'll have to do what seems best in your heart...
2006-12-11 13:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about this & maybe with a counsellor too ..... but don't let his fetish with latex & posting nude shots ruin you, stay in your job and get on with life with or without him!!
2006-12-11 13:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by mimi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's over.
2006-12-11 13:29:31 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋