I am due to get married within the next year. The problem is that he wants me to have sex with his younger brother. Odd, I know. I am four years older then my soon to be hubby and thought it was his age, 26 by the way. It causes many problems and I do love him and want this to work out but without respect for each others wishes, how can a life be built on him wanting to watch me with other guys. Am I just to old fashion? Confused. Please give me your thoughts on this matter.
2006-12-11 05:09:07 · 28 answers · asked by Sarah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Think you need to shop around for another guy..... this one has no idea what a marriage is. Just to clue you in:
Marriage is Admiration, Respect, Passion and Trust, with a whole lot of lovies, kindness, consideration, common interest, and for sure exclusiveness in sexuality and sensuality. He is unprepared for this, and therefore, not yet husband material.... what ARE you thinking????
2006-12-11 05:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away now.
Seriously. If you're not even married yet and he's already so bored that he wants to watch you having sex with his brother, honey, let me tell you this: It's going to get worse. Next thing, he's going to want you to sleep with his coworker or a friend. Then, he'll want you to go to bars and pick up strangers. He is a voyeur who can only be satisfied by watching others.
Unless you are into swinging (and it doesn't sound like you are), then you two are not going to be happy together.
2006-12-11 05:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on? You really asked this question. Feel lucky you have not gotten married yet. It would be a good idea NOT to marry this dude unless you are ready to become a cockold or cockhold (however you spell it). The term means to have sex with another man while your husband watches.
2006-12-11 05:26:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys like that stuff. I dont know why. I wouldnt be comfortable doing it. What if you did it and liked it and wanted to continue but hubby didnt want you to? What would happen at family functions? Would you guys just act normal like nothing ever happened? It is already an uncomfortable situation dont make it worse.
2006-12-11 05:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Miranda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not want an open marriage, then maybe this is not the right guy for you. He seems to want that. But it has to be 100%mutual. And I think that sex with his family member would be way too awkward anyway. Open marriages can be fun, but ONLY if both people are completely in sync.
2006-12-11 05:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A life can be built on him wanting to watch you with other guys. I love to watch my wife with other men and women. She is my favorite pornstar. ;-) She loves watching me with other women too. It is simply a matter of this being a turn-on for us. It is both of our fantasy.
Your thinking is "if he really loved me why would he want to share me with other men because I love him and I don't want to share him with other women." You are looking to receive love in the same way you give it. The fact is we are all different and we can't expect the other person to think the same way we do. We are individuals with our own thoughts, feelings, turn-ons, and turn-offs.
But if it is not right for you - if it is not both of your fantasy - than you shouldn't do it. Period. And he should respect that. You can't coerce someone into doing something they don't want to do unless you want that person to resent you.
If this is going to be a major point of contention in your relationship than maybe you two aren't right for each other. He won't stop wanting it, and unless you think you'll change your mind and want it, than you are just fooling yourselves into thinking the other will change. You don't.
What does concern me though is it's his brother. That is just weird. Too close for comfort for us. One of our rules for swinging is "no family". It would just make Thanksgiving weird. Too much potential for drama with the other family member.
Whatever you decide to do (to swing or not to swing) I'd stay away from the family aspect.
2006-12-11 05:43:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok I'm a bit confused....so you're saying he wants you to be with his younger brother? And you're planning on marrying this guy? Ewww! your not old fashion! get away now.
2006-12-11 05:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mona217 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about to marry a man who wants to share you with another man? This is a question you need to ask yourself. If he has the nerve to ask you to sleep with his brother, then what does that say on his values to being faithful? Do you want to wonder forever?
2006-12-11 05:18:35 · answer #8 · answered by miki c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to have sex with his brother and he's pushing it on you, he is not right. You are not too old fashion. If you really want it, continue with the marriage. Its your choice. Good luck!
2006-12-11 05:15:04 · answer #9 · answered by La Dee da 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun ur not old fashioned...u just have a lot of morals...what was he thinking any way asking u to sleep with his brother...good luck
2006-12-11 05:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋