I was dating a woman for a lil over a year there was something different about her like I knew she was "the one" she left me after she moved about an hour away because I was talking to another woman on the net. I met my wife soon after and we have been together 3 yrs. I contacted my ex and she knows I am married but said if I were single again she would give me a second chance. I really love her and want to be with her. I would be better off finacially if I stayed with my wife but I think I would be happier with my ex but dont want to break my wifes heart. And if I stayed with my wife she said I couldnt contact her again. WHAT SHOULD I DO?????
2006-12-11 05:02:44 · 19 answers · asked by j g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well my ex blocked my emails and I was just now able to find her contact info. I guess another reason for leaving is she has gained alot of weight and she wants "it" all the time but I dont really find her sexually attractive anymore
2006-12-11 05:14:06 · update #1
I came clean with my wife with everything and I dont think she could trust me anymore. So If there is no trust in our marriage what can I do. I dont have any kids btw
2006-12-11 05:30:17 · update #2
Uh.........You got married, you made a commitment to a woman, so this other woman should be off limits.
2006-12-11 05:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you actually hear what your saying? What in the world is wrong with you and what kind of craziness are you talking? Real life is not a soap opera.
Oh.. and just so you know.... and in case someone else hasn't said it to you in a while. The grass always (appears) greener on the other side.
You don't know what the heck your life would be like with this other person that you supposedly were "so in love with" .... Matter of fact do you even truly know the meaning of the word love... because you mentioned..."I would be better of financially if I stayed with my wife" What the HECK is that about? You've deducted (pardon the pun) that the commitment to your marriage is based on a financial fact.... WOW! And... this love of your life back then... you decided to "on-line cheat"... Oh yeah... that makes sense in the "love department" Get it together!
You could marry this woman and be soooooooo miserable that you'll regret the very thought of her. Or she could turn around and be the worst wife, mother, or person you've ever had to deal with.
You made a decision... be a man and honor God, your wife and your marriage. Don't believe the HYPE of what's marinating in your mind.... "I think I would be happier with my ex" You must be trippin. Truth is.... the fact that you even said "you think" is clearly not the true. A True Thinking Man... would know that this woman making a statement like "if you were single again she would give me a second chance" is inappropriate and loaded with craziness and disrespect. What kind of woman would disrespect another persons marriage like that? Answer: a person who's motives were not correct and who decided to tempt or peek a married mans interest.
If she doesn't repect your marriage to your wife... How can you possibly trust her to be honest if you were to leave your wife for her... duh? She may have someone else in her past that SHE may have been truly in love with too. Would it be ok if they turned around and did the same thing to your marriage with her? THINK NOT! Stay true and don't set yourself up for failure... Please don't go Jerry Springer...
Drama like that is So unhealthy and down right dishonorable and ugly. Ultimately... it's your decision... but just remember... You reap what you sow... in other words.. what goes around comes around.... TRUST THAT!
btw... it's easier to help your wife get rid of her weight... but it's harder to help someone gain common sense. Just a thought....
2006-12-11 13:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Grow up.
Grow up and stop jerking these women around and stop allowing yourself to be played like a violin by a woman who is willing to break up a marriage. If your ex were so perfect, she wouldn't have been your ex to begin with. If your ex were so perfect, she wouldn't be contacting a married man. I can guarantee you that if you dump your wife for her, she'll be cheating on you within a few years.
Tell your ex that she is your ex and concentrate on your marriage. Or break your wife's heart and go with your ex and we'll see you back here in a year writing, "My ex is now my wife, but it's not working out. I think she's cheating on me with an old boyfriend."
2006-12-11 13:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Karen L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do u love your wife or was she just a convenience? she makes u happy? Stay where u r the grass is not always greener if you were not over ur ex u never should of married. Sorry if i seem harsh but you really should thought it through first and if u stay with ur wife leave the other woman alone or sooner or later u will stray good luck maybe you should try and pray about it if that's something u do
2006-12-11 13:13:38 · answer #4 · answered by trina f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY did you contact your ex? She left you because you "cheated" on her...now you are married...and she is OK with you cheating again (on your WIFE) to be with her?!? This sounds like a very destructive and dysfunctional relationship.
If you don't love your wife, and are only staying with her for financial reasons, you are doing her a HUGE disservice. She deserves better. She deserves someone who is passionately in love with her, not someone who is only with her because it is convenient. If I were your wife, and knew that this is the way you felt, I would not want to be married to you for another minute.
Get a divorce and let your wife find the happiness she deserves. You are not it. You should have the freedom you want - and not ruin another person's life as you attempt to find it.
Do not re-start a relationship with your ex until your WIFE is your ex-wife. You owe her that much respect. How would YOU feel if the situation were reversed?
2006-12-11 13:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife how you feel right now, of what you share with the world! She needs to know the truth of where your heart stands.
It is a shame that you have now broken 2 women lives, because of all of your selffish reasonings,
Where is your true heart at, this is hard for me to be truthful with this advice, I would rather throw stones at you, but I can't, I am not perfect either!
Your ex knows that you are married now, and she might be playing you as a fool, that you hurted her first, and she is getting even with you and want to split this marriage up that she is the one who split your marraige with your ex!
Do you see the turmoil that your choices made, and 2 women are torned and hurting, and want to destroyed each other of all the anguish and hurt that you caused?
If you are truly a man, who wants to protect your wife, and guard her heart, you will stop all relations and communications with the exwife, and make it final! Yes you might love your ex, but how does she really feels about you? Hurt!
YOu need to start giving your wife more respect and realy let go of your ex, and truly love your wife, so you can have a joyful marriage of comfort, joy, and trust. All of this all, depends on you, on how are you going to continued to be selffish, or be giving?
It is all up to you!!!
NOw I have behaved, with harsh relaity of advice, but I do hope that you will put the end of all this mess that you have created by not being satisfied with one wife, and really living up the vows of marriage!
2006-12-11 13:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that you told your wife what was going on and finding fault with her weight and anything you can come up with for her to leave you so you can get back with your ex...
Tell me this, since its been years, have you seen your ex?How does she look?Is the grass greener on the other side?....
I can tell you from experience, the love you shared with your ex, it will not be the same as years has gone by and you both have changed by now.....I think since the ex wants to come back into your life, you're doing what you can to get out of your marriage and get back with her for something you used to have and she just up and left you....Did you think about that?
All I can say is you will regret it if you leave your wife for her and it doesn't work, then what? If she left you before, what makes you think she will not leave again......
You really need to think about it and take time to make a decision and be real with yourself because if you go back to your ex, the feelings will be different then before...Don't make a mistake and jump out of the pan into the fire with this girl who left out of your life when you was in love with her before....All you have to do with your wife is help her exercise and lose the weight.....
One more thing, if you leave your wife and she is seeing someone else, then what are you, just another man fighting to be with her...
Ask yourself, why all of a sudden she is coming back in your life.....People always want you when you have moved on and have a life with someone else and when they get you back, they really don't want you, they want to just prove they can get you back...
Don't be a fool.......
2006-12-11 14:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off stop contacting your Ex, unless there are kids involved you have no good reason to talk. Try to make your present marriage every thing you and your wife want it to be. Be sincere and honest and don't let your internet talking interfere with the relationship you have with your wife.
Weight can be an issue with some men, just get past it and let your ex have her own life. She may be feeling lonley and can be contacting you to fill a void she can not fill on her own - don't be trapped into false feelings - move on with your life and let her move on with her's.
2006-12-11 13:19:09 · answer #8 · answered by bobopro1020 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are married!! Don't be put on the list of "liars & cheaters", because you gave your "Ex" a chance, and now she's only interested because she's aware of your wife making a good catch in you. You would be sorry if you make that step, because your "Ex" could easily cause you to loose out on the best thing that's ever happened to you "your wife", and then drop out of your life again. Think about that carefully.
2006-12-11 13:13:18 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you married your wife! if you knew you were in love with another, why put her heart out there?
be true to yourself and be loyal to your marriage and the vows you have committed to - does your wife please you sexually? do you have a good communication level? do you do things together as a couple? what is your social life like? do you have kids with your wife or want to have kids? is your wife a financial strain like this other woman is? think about these things before you operate and do something you will regret.
2006-12-11 13:11:32 · answer #10 · answered by thetruth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do u have kids? I hope not because you don't seem mature enough that you would just walk out on your wife for a woman who dumped you years ago. Let it go, a lot of times the grass seems greener on the other side, maybe your memories of her are better than the reality.
2006-12-11 13:08:26 · answer #11 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋