What keeps you from getting a divorce?

Question

...or even thinking about every time you argue? I hate that I think about it all the time whenever I have a conflict with my husband. How do you avoid that thought, and what are the things that keep you from going there, to divorce where so many fearlessly tread in our society nowadays?

Thumbs down?! Dang! Kick a chick while she's DOWN, why doncha? ;-D

Answer 1

I used to think the same way in the first couple of years, but then as we starting resolving every issue and worked together to make sure nothing came between us, I realized that I haven't thought of that in years. I think as long as you and your partner respectfully try to resolve each issue, those thoughts go away with time. Time strengthens all bonds if you work on them daily.

Answer 2

Probably because it feels like it's just now worth all your efforts at the time. You keep asking yourself is it really worth all this. Fact is, no one can tell you and thats something you can only answer; Make Note, after you go there, there is no return. Just make sure your absolutely positive that is what you want because all the good goes with all the bad. Don't make the mistake of taking divorce easy, because a decent marriage is far much greater than a divorce on a good day. I've made the life altering mistake of walking out and I have to live with that every single day of my life. We had bad days, but I look back at them and they were nothing, really nothing more than a bad day. If I had only known and not been too hasty. You will have your negative thoughts and that is normal. Get over it, and work toward being happy with what you have. (unless its an abusive relationship)

Answer 3

The thing that keeps me from threatening to divorce my husband is that divorce is not an option.
We are in this for the long haul.
We have been together since I was 19 and we've really grown up together. We've had to learn how to argue. I'm a screamer/fighter, so he now sets back and lets me vent until I feel better. In return, I don't feel like I have to scream and belittle him to get my point across. (Hey, it works for us! We still have issues, but we work them out together!)
He keeps everything inside. I've learned to give him a few days, then ask him about what's going on. He likes to think things through before we discuss it. He also has to walk away sometimes to think. Early in the relationship, I would never let him do that. I would always follow him, screaming. Now when he walks away, I have enough faith in him to know that he's coming back. I give him as long as I can, and go back to him.
I have a saying that's become quite popular among my friends.
"Exhaust every option." When you feel like you've done this, you may consider divorce. Try different ways to solve your problems. Go about them from different angles. But try everything that you can think of. Your problems will not be resolved in days or months. Sometimes rough patches last a few years. But in the end, when you are grandparents, sitting on the front porch w/ the family that you've built together, it will have been worth it.
That's what I think about. And I remember why I married him in the first place.
Good luck to you.
Happy Holidays to your family.

Answer 4

That is a tough one. My husband and I just had our 5 yr anniversary, and this constantly comes up. We have just determined that divorce is NOT an option. We talk all the time and our rule is: our feelings should be shared and respected even if we do not agree with one another. I do not say I don't think about it, but then I think about what my life would be like without him and I remember that we have something too good to just throw away.

Answer 5

I was married for 18 years. I loved him and tried so very hard to be a great wife. I kept my figure and looks and waited on him hand and foot - and worked full-time and took care of our three kids and our home. He was mean, physically and emotionally abusive and he cheated constantly. Every time he got mad he threatened divorce and constantly told me that he was looking for another woman. I so didn't want to break up my family and I even started to believe that I was as lousy as he said, but then I gave up and divorced him. Men came out of the woodwork - good ones, faithful ones, smart and considerate and thoughtful ones.

I found a new one this last year whom I adore ( partly because of his integrity). We both agree that when we marry we will never divorce (he's been divorced three times). We will marry for life and work out anything that may come up.

Divorce just plain hurts too much!

Answer 6

When my wife and I were married, we both agreed up-front that divorce was NOT an option. We both take our commitment very seriously, so when we do have arguments (which isn't often) we talk our issues out until we get them resolved. Think of this the next time you get in an argument with your husband: If you take the easy way out and get a divorce, what do you think your chances are of being able to sustain a marriage the next time around? If you can't stick it out now, you won't stick it out in the future with someone else. You have to pick your battles and compromise in a marriage, and that gets back to the foundation of respect that the two of you (hopefully) have for each other. Don't take the easy way out, because it really ISN'T an easy way out -- it's a path to future failure.

Answer 7

I believe you think about divorce because you for some reason don't want this relationship. You in some ways bring it to the point of arguements so that you can try to justify to yourself that you want a divorce. If you are truely un happy then end it. But if you are just bored with the situation then make the first move to change/fix it.

Answer 8

Evertime I have a fight with my husband, I just think back to the day I married him and remember how much I loved him and still do love him to this day. I remember all the good times we've had together and I realize that we are bound to disagree about somethings. No two people are going to think the exact same. You should realize that there will be fights, and getting through them, and the making up rituals, will make your relationship stronger.

Answer 9

That thought is always on the minds of many couples even those who are happily married at one point in time or another. Don't worry. If you are seriously thinking about getting a divorce maybe you should seek counselling.

Answer 10

Well you can't be thinking about divorce everytime you and your man argue...that's just dumb. you can't always run for the door when there's a problem. if your thinking about divorce when your not arguing, then you have a problem. My suggestion is to look at your relationship..find the pro's and con's..People get married and then divorce like it's second nature. Evaluate your relationship and go from there. If you really love him you'll stop looking for the easy exit.