I broke up with my bf one year ago , some of my friends were still in touch with him and he told them that he just fell in love with me but because I hurt him deeply ,he had no feelings for me any more .I thought I was over him but I never have been .actually I still have him in my msn messenger ,I found out 6 months ago that he started a relation with a girl but they broke up very soon but lately I saw him online alot putting love words and romantic poems as his status and Today when I saw his romantic status for the second time I couldnt stop crying ..what can i do to get over him plz ..I met many guys after him ,mostly were better than him but I cant get involved with anybody again ..I need help and it wouldnt help me dating new guys I am sure...
2006-12-11 04:41:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Salina
you will not be the first or the last to feel like this but I can tell you now that loving someone to the point of thinking your insane is not good but its healthy..AND NO YOU ARE NOT MENTALLY ILL..mind you I dont know you, however some of the people that I have delt with in the past have been and they are mostly locked up lol....What hurts the most I feel is that once upon a time the words he wrote were for you! They made you feel special and wanted, his world was you..as you thought, and as does everyone that becomes hooked in the world of looking for partners etc...its all about a game of fishing tactics, luring the fish in with those lovely juicy worms etc....Now you know that someone else is getting his lures and you know how good that made you feel, and now another is going to get those wonderful feelings that you once had from him...
You probably feel cheated too...and I will be brutally honest here...its gonna hurt, you will cry but then you will wake up and see that its all part of a game until the right one comes along...go out...do something totally out of character for you...go mad have a ball..dont go from one bloke to the other..(without thinking its all a game)...if you two were right for each other he would have forgiven you...or you wouldnt have done it in the first place whatever it was...it must have been something big to cause a bust up...live life...if you two are meant to be...you will meet up again
2006-12-11 04:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by skunkmix10 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a tough situation.
I do agree that seeing a therapist woudl help you in the long run and not Yhaoo Answers.
In the mean time, look at the reasons why you left him or why the break up happened. Were they selfish and self centered? Did they have anything to do with the actual relationship or were there alterior motives being enacted upon? I was in a similar situation myself where my fiancee' left me, no reason why she just left. I thought I did something wrong, maybe I said something or didn't do something. Turns out she was having an affair, and to make herlsef look better she and her mother told people in their Church I broke her jaw and eye socket (mysteriuosly she never had any surgery for a broken eye socket).
Either way you have to make a decision. If the relationship was over because of abuse, neglect, cheating. Then let it be over and done with. Doesn't matter who did what, forgive and move on. If you want it done with remove him from your IM, remove his pictures, remove memories of him, objects he may have bougth you. And work on yourself, school, a better job, perhaps something you may want to learn, even reconciling ghosts of your past.
These are all things you can do to help yourself, but therapy would be the best.
2006-12-11 04:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by PDK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up with him and now you are stalking him online? When are you going to let this guy go? Who cares how he feels? You dumped him, remember?
First of all, delete his messenger name. Do it right now and never look at it again. Second, don't ask your friends for anymore information about this guy. Third, find yourself a rebound guy to have a one-night stand with.
Think of your relationship to this guy as something that resulted in an addiction. If you had just quit drinking, would you go into a bar just to remember what drinking was like? No. You'd avoid bars, liquor stores and other alcoholics. If you quit smoking, would you ask to be seated in the smoking section just so you could remember the smell and taste of cigarettes? I think you get my point. You need to create some distance between you and this guy so that you can properly get over this failed relationship the two of you had.
Find something to do with your spare time. Take a self-defense class or start painting. Find some kind of hobby besides stalking past boyfriends. That's just sad and creepy.
2006-12-11 05:13:08 · answer #3 · answered by Wiseass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in u itself... Just try doing something else that u like more than thinking abt ur bf. Concentrate on ur future goals... Tells urself firmly that u will have to struggle thru this. But surely "This too will pass away". Have a strong mind and have confidence in u. That has happenend has happenend and u can't go and just correct it in yesterday's page. May be he wasn't the one who was made for u. I wud say stop thinking anything abt him for a few days. Take a break from ur routine. Listen to soft music (melodious) while working. Read ur favorite book and live as though he hadn't come into ur life at all. just for a few days. And i bet he will be removed from ur memory book. Strengthen ur mind. Gud luck... Have faith in God! :-)
2006-12-11 04:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Swathi Rao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of us are mentally sick to one degree or another, but you don't sound too bad...you sound more emotionally immature than anything. It takes time and maturity to get past a heartbreak (whether the giver or reciever or circumstances surrounding the break). Eventually you will be sick of feeling so bad and being alone, that your maturity will kick in, you will work to improve yourself, you will grow up, you will heal, and you will be able to move on into a healthy, mature relationship that is rewarding to you and the other person...I wish you the best of luck!
2006-12-11 04:52:59 · answer #5 · answered by beetlejuice49423 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried contacting him? He was hurt but maybe yall can try again. What you are figuring out is that you may have had a good thing and you let it go over something stupid. Baby it is hard to find a good man now days and it sounds like you had one.
It does not hurt to try again. If he really loved you, he has been thinking of you as well.
2006-12-11 04:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not mentally sick, just broken hearted. It happens to people but they do get over it. It can take some time. Till then, don't date other guys until you're ready. Take him off your messenger and don't keep tabs on him. Know that someday you will get past this.
2006-12-11 04:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by out of the grey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been on my own now for 15 months since my wife left me and my 3 boys,life was unbearable at first,we were married for 18 years. i have learned a very important thing though, namely you have to stay single and reastablish your self respect,enjoy your own company and heal properly before anyone will give you a second look,never go back,brush yourself off,take your time and move on ...life is a journey you are your own soul mate. love always comes when you least expect it!
2006-12-11 04:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by mightyboosh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gurl, It's okay , i feel you on that one. But I do believe you are having a nervous break down. If whatever you did was wrong to him you should apologize and make it up to him. whatever it takes I think you and him should try to work it out, I mean you are both single.
2006-12-11 04:58:42 · answer #9 · answered by twiggy_vienna_love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh what a drama queen you are! My dear take him off your msn messenger!! Viola and poof, he's gone. Get on with your life....no get a life, then get on with it. Have some cheese with your whine also.
2006-12-11 04:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋