What should I do about Hubby's secret?

Question

Last night I walked into the room where hubby was typing something on the computer. He had told me earlier that he was going to email a long awaited email to his best friend from high school who had contacted him for the first time in 15 yrs last week. I assumed that's what he was doing and I walked in to the office just to get something and he immediately closed down the screen he was typing on and said "Don't sneak up on me like that, I'm doing something private here!" I said "sorry" and then just quickly got out of the room.

I then noticed that everytime I would even just walk by the open door of the office that he would stop typing and sometimes close the window that he was working on.

I can't imagine that what he was typing to his friend was THAT personal, and it seems to me that it must be something that he really doesn't want me to know.

We have a good marriage and I trust him. Should I just let this go? I'm really curious about what was so secret though?

Answer 1

Girl, he's Christmas shopping for your BIG GIFT!!!


(and if he's not, yes, just trust him... you have nothing to base anything else upon)

Answer 2

First ask him, no one knows him better than you. You can tell if he is lying to you or not. If you believe what he says just keep your eyes open. See if he is spending more time then usual on the computer. If you really want to know everything, get a spy software that takes snapshot of the screen every minute or so, and it will take a snapshot on certain key words typed in. But make sure you really want to know.

Answer 3

I don't believe in keeping secrets, but I also know that it took many many years of marriage to get to that point. My wife was seeing a counselor for a childhood trama for months and I did not even know about it. Sometimes people need to talk to someone else about problems they are not comfortable talking to their spouse about.

The other problem here is he could be cheating on you. You have two options. Be sneaky, get on the PC and find out what he was doing. Look in the sent and deleted items folders for what he sent to his "friend". However, be prepared to find something you don't like, or not find anything and feeling guilty you checked. Or you could confront him and straight out say that you don't like secrets in a marriage.

Oh, maybe he is planning a big surprise party for you or a huge Christmas present.

Answer 4

I would give it some time it could be a surprise for you but after a while if you know that any special day in your lives have past by without a surprise then you need to question him if IT is still going on it is not fair to you to keep a secret that might be damaging to you're marriage good luck

Answer 5

It's so hard to know. I felt suspicious, but my husband had never really given me any reason not to trust him. This time, i decided to snoop around. I got into his email account and found out that he has been talking to another woman on msn, and on the phone. Emailing her, calling her baby, basically just being in a relationship. Now i don't know what to think about trust in a relationship. Do what you feel you NEED to do. If you still trust him, let it go, if you think you need to do some investigating, do it.

Answer 6

It's near christmas time, maybe he has a secret from you, because he might have had Santa's gift for you, and don't want you to find it until Christmas!
Well I hope that should be a good reason for his secret, that I would buy as reasoning.
You have a good marriage, and have you ever doubt him before?
Examine this very carefullly, then if you still feel this way, you need to asked him about it, that it may you questioned of his way of keeping things from you.
I hope this helps.

Answer 7

Maybe as a previous poster suggested, he is organising a fantastic christmas gift.....but you are obviously concerned enough to write to this site. Also walking into his office to get something is not "sneaking up" on him, why is he so jumpy? I would keep an eye on things, wait to see what happens at christmas and if no fantastic gift arrives or if you are still unhappy/concerned start snooping.

Answer 8

Marraige is about trust. You should be able to tell each other everything. There is nothing my mom doesn't tell my dad, and vice versa.

I think demand to know what's going on- if its porn, well then, if you against that then you can talk about it, but if you're fine with it, he needs to know. If on the other hand it isn't and its someone he's emailing, nothing should be between the two of you in this sacrosanct union. Anything that is that personal, you would, or should, know anyway, sinc eyou are his wife. And if its something you don't, I think you should endeavour to talk to him about it, since he si your husband.

Answer 9

Simple answer, there should be no secrets between a husband and a wife. Your spouse should know you and you should know him through and through. It makes for a better relationship. He should tell you what he was typing or else if he don't, do the same thing and see how he likes you being so sneaky.

Answer 10

It seems to me that if you really have a good marriage you should be able to ask him what he is up to. Tell him you respect his right to privacy as an individual, but he is also harming your trust by being so secritive. You just need assurance that he isn't doing something he shoudn't. Then you need to trust his answer.

Answer 11

It's simple. Google "keylogger".

Buy one and install it on the PC. He won't know its there and you can check it everyday when he is not around. You will get his passwords, the sites he visits, the time, and even screenshots if you purchase the right program. It worked for me. Just make sure you don't let him know you are suspicious.

If you do catch him in an affair contact me for further guidance. Do not let him know you know without seeking further advice!