Help me with my boyfriend who won't help out around the house??

Question

My boyfriend and I have lived together for 1 1/2 years now, been together for 3 1/2. He is 38 years old and I am 24. He makes almost 3 times as much money as I do and tends to help me out in financial situations when I need it, but lately all he does on his days off (sometimes 10 in a row) is play his X-Box. He rarely does anything unless I've asked him or I leave a list of things for him to do. He works hard as an RN at a hospital where we live, so I do expect him to relax with SOME of his days off, but not ALL of them. I'm very frustrated because I don't want to be the nagging girlfriend, but if I don't, nothing seems to get done. Today I asked him to print out some pictures on the computer and get the Christmas tree out of the attic, and he gave me a big sigh and I knew exactly why. So he says "well I don't call you on each of your days off and give you a list of things to do..." I hung up on him. I love him and don't want this to end the relationship, WHAT DO I DO???

more details about the situation, if it helps:

He works 12 hour shifts, so doing ANYTHING on his days that he is working is out of the question, and I'm okay with that. I work regular 8 hour shifts, M-F, but I also work a 2nd job on the weekends, AND go to school. He usually does things when I ask him, but there are little comments that tells me he doesn't want to be doing them. I don't think he is happy with his life, outside of our relationship, and I've suggested counseling, but of course, he has never gone. He is a big time procrastinator: his window in his convertible Mustang broke about 4 months ago and it's winter and he STILL has not gotten it fixed. Nothing makes him happy except for his X Box. He claims that I make him happy, but i have a hard time believing that when all he does is play that stupid thing while I'm gone. I want to be with someone who thinks about ME or US when I'm not around...but I just want HIM to be this way. I love him more than I've loved anyone

Answer 1

Gee I wish i had 10 days in a row off, but that's besides the point. I work 50+hours a week on the afternoon shift as a truck mechanic & my wife works the same amount of hours as a nurse at nursing home on the day shift. We both realize how hard each other works & enjoy our days off, however we both know stuff needs to be done around the house as well. That's why we know it takes BOTH of us to get things done, no matter how tired & worn out from work we may be. We just figure out who's going to do what(better yet who does whatever household chores better) & go from there. When you have two people working at it, it takes less time to get done & more time to spend w/each other when you do have a day off together. Sounds to me like he expects you to do everything because you're the woman. Tell him to wake up, this 2007(almost) & some guys DO housework.(This means cooking & cleaning, not just yardwork).

Answer 2

I am going through pretty much the same thing with my boyfriend... I finally said to him, "Well stuff NEEDS to get done and I can't do it ALL - so would you rather help when you get home from work and are exhausted, or would you rather help on a day off when you've had time to rest? I understand it's your day off, but it's your day off from your JOB, not from life..."

Answer 3

My boyfriend is exactly 14 years older than me I am 19 and he is 33 . . .because I'm young people say that it is creapy but I love it. . .He bends over backwards to make sure that I am happy but he had smart answers to everything and wants me to dress up when I go out and Blah Blah Blah. . .But I think its a "I'm older, I make more than you and work more thanyou so I should do what I want deal" But its not tell him you work to and come home and do everything. . .It would just be nice if he would help a little bit

Answer 4

If he has 10 days off in a row I am sure it won't kill him to print you some pictures. Tell him to start helping you out or you are out of there.