After 10 years of marriage, you find out your spouse is cheating, would you give a second chance or what would

Question

you do? please tell me!

Answer 1

Well it depends on the situation. First of all from now on there will always be a trust issue. Secondly does he abuse you? Physically verbally, emotionally? Those are bad things and if he has been doing any of those things then I'd say if you want to stay together that you both need to go to counseling. If he doesn't want to go then tell him he has to go.

I have dealt with cheating and needless to say I am no longer with him and now he complains because the state is asking him to pay $395 a month. Wow that's the state minimum and I kept telling him I don't make the decision the state does. Anyways that is besides the point. My ex physically verbally and emotionally abused me, and he constatly accused me of cheating on him in which I was faithful to him. However he was not faithful to me, and in fact he had been planning on meeting with other women and I don't know if he did but I know that he fondled and kissed a girl who was under the age of 18 and that was what got him kicked out for good. So because the girl and her family never pressed charges he got away with it and he still gets to see my daughter :( so in short it really depends on the situation. There are people out there that can forgive and get opn with their lives after infdelity but they are strong people. I hope this has helped you some.

Answer 2

If the cheating is small-time dealing with non-entities, like picking up your favourate perfume without telling you within a reasonable period of time and related to these bluffs, that is minor given the record of a 10 year marriage.But if it is deliberately meant to damage and hurt you, like treating you as a persona non gratia in home, etc., that is serious.If you are in a position to give actionable suggestions such as visiting councellors,group therepy check out if that works. If therere is neurotic side to the personna [ like enjoying cheating you] that without treatement, may lead to psychosis.Some persons refuse any treatment becausethey are not really aware of mental disease. That is a dangerous state. I will not give any second chance simply because of past sentiments.After such a turn the matter becomes sub-judice and if proven mentally ill then it becomes a medico-leagle case.If your love is legendary I do not have anything more to say.

Answer 3

Trust is everything to me and once a man cheats it literally closes all access to me. So, to answer your question, no, I wouldn't give him a second chance, but I will forgive him. However, you're not me.

This question can only truly be answered by you because you will have to live with the decision, not me.

Ask yourself this...

Am I willing to stay in my marriage, forgive him and trust him again, without punishing him of the past affair?

Am I in my marriage for the right reasons or did I marry out of desperation?

Did we both contribute 100 % of ourselves to our marriage, or was it less?

Have I lost myself, trying to please others?

If there are children...will I remain in the marriage for them? If so, how will it affect them (negative or positive)?

Be blessed and look within yourself because you have the real answer.

Answer 4

No i wouldnt give him or her a second chance.
The phrase once a cheat always a cheat isnt always true.
But I dont stand for cheaters .

Answer 5

For me, I have a hard time trusting people and if i was married for 10 years and he betrayed my trust, our vow's, and our love, i would not give him another chance...and of course he is going to apologize and promise that he will never do it again...but the drive of cheating is still in him..he will eventually do it again...

One heart break is enough..you dont have to give him another chance and go through times and times of heart break...

but if he gets professional help..i'd probably think about it..

Answer 6

Depends on the circumstances surrounding the cheating and how the marriage was going otherwise. And whether or not children were involved.

Answer 7

depends on how long hes been doing it.
And if you really feel he could change and try never to do it again I mean what I believe is guys cheat always at least once or more,ive met guys that have changed, but you know your husband and when making the decision dont judge him as your husband cuz u love him but as a person, if his character isnt the type to change dont bother w/ him.He'll hurt you again.

Answer 8

dump the cheating sod, if the cheater can do the only thing that is special between you two, than that person is not worth it. If you forgive the cheater, that is a green light for them to do it again and again

Answer 9

he's gone. been cheated on (by an ex) and will never tolerate that again, its selfish and shallow and that person isnt worth my time at all.

i would also take everything they had, they are the person that caused the end to the marriage and doesnt deserve ANYTHING that came from it.

Answer 10

I'm afraid I just couldn't give him a second chance, cuz I wouldn't be able to trust him anymore. (and a marriage without trust is doomed to fail, IMHO)