Who should get custody of kids after separation?

Question

will be separating after 10 years of marrriage and 2 children (4 and 7).

Wife was stay at home mom whole time, but i worked from home too i helped out very much too. Wife has taken to a new 'lifestyle' in recent years involving going out to bars often, staying late etc, and on top of this i found out she's been having an affair with another married man for last year and half.

Do not want other man to raise my kids. How would courts view it if i claimed full custody? She is good mother as it relates to chores, but not a good rolemodel.

What chances do i have?
What exactly does full custody mean?
Not trying to be vengeful, just want whats best for kids....

Answer 1

I believe children should go with whichever parent can provide the best support - financial and emotional - and whichever parent maintains the most stability.

Answer 2

Full custody means that you are the primary care giver to the children and she would be labeled the non-custodial parent. However, most courts these days award joint-custody, so good luck on trying to gain full. Just because she is doing what she says she is doing does not mean the courts will award you custody of the children. The courts are very understanding that the parents need a life outside of their children, not to say what she is doing is right, but it is just the way they will perceive her situation in the event that you bring it up. Now, on the other hand, if she is exposing the children to her lifestyle, then that is entirely different. For example, if she is getting drunk in front of the children or bringing her married boyfriend home for a romp, then she is out of line with the courts and you stand a chance for custody, but only if you can prove she is doing so.

My advice would be to document all that you have proof she is doing while with the children. Don't hound the kids for info., it is unnecessary to put them in the middle, and also wrong. Speak to your attorney about your chances, but I would certainly try, if nothing else, at least they will always know that you fought for them.

Answer 3

First, try to keep things civil during the divorce process. The whole thing is going to be hard for your young children to understand and handle. Put their welfare first.

It is really hard in the United States for a man to get full custody of his children. Full custody means the children will live with you full time and your soon to be ex-wife will get visitational rights. She may or may not have to pay you child suppport but that will be up to you. If you are awarded custody and ask for the support then by court order she will have to pay. You have to prove that their mom in unfit to take care of them and unable to provide them the things that they will need. Her character as a woman will not help you in this situation. The children should be with the parent who is best able to provide for them not only monetarily but emotionally as well.

I know you don't like the idea of another man raising you children. There is no guarantee that things will work out with this married man that your soon to be ex-wife is having an affair with but you do have to understand that one day both of you will find other people and marry, and those people will have a part in the upbringing of your children. All you can do as a father is to be the best father you can be and always remain an active parent in their lives no matter the outcome of the custody battle. You and your ex-wife will also need to try to at least be friends or to be cordial to each other for the sake of your children.

Answer 4

Depending on the state in which you live, the laws will vary when it comes to custody of minor children.

In most cases, the courts are reluctant to take a mother's children away from her. However, you can file for full custody. As a parent, you have that right.

I think, however, especially if you are going to remain living in the same area, filing for joint custody may be an option for you. This allows the children to see both parents equally, and if nothing else, keeps you involved in your children's lives.

DO NOT. I repeat, DO NOT place the kids in the middle more than they already are. Do not use them as weapons against your ex. Do not use them as a retalitory measure for something the ex has done or will do.

I understand the fact that you do not want this other guy to raise your kids. Thta is completely natural, especially in this case. But, you have to focus on the children's happiness, and do what is best for them.

Talk with an attorney. Ask him/her what the laws are in your area petaining to child custody. Ask his/her professional opinion abouth your situation and have them devise a gameplan that fits your needs. You are paying them for their time, might as well utilize them to the fullest.

Do not go through a divorce without an attorney.

Good luck

Answer 5

Unfortunately, you will not get full custody. Full custody means that you are the only person considered pertinent in makind legal, educational, medical and other welfare related decisions for your children.

You will not get full custody. Especially since you are the father, I'm sorry to say. I'm a female, and I do not think that it's fair that courts show bias to the mothers.

Anyway, unless it can be proven that your wife is an alcoholic or drug addict, she has every right to share custody with you.

Unfortunately, you will have to get used to someone else assisting in raising your children. If you take a new partner or get married, that person will be assisting YOU in raising your children. If you think that is acceptable, then it should be acceptable for her new partner to assist in raising them.

Just be thankful that you are a good man and are involved in your children's lives. Some fathers are not.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

courts tend to side with the mother even if they are not good role models but if they are good with keeping the house and the children clean then i say you dont stand a snowballs chance in hell of getting full custody of those kids . The other man does not have to raise your kids and believe me the kids know who daddy is and if they dont whose fault is that ? I think if you want what is best for the kids then stay with the mother and tell the mom to end the affair and straighten things out with her . if you cant then you should be the one leaving not mom . Let mom and you share custody . You are not being fair if you dont do that. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 7

Full custody means that is where the children will reside permanently. The courts are supposed to look out for the best interest of the children. If the mother was a stay at home mom, that is going to look real good for her to get full custody. Unless you can prove her unfit, she would get the kids outright. Of course, you can get a lawyer and fight for custody. You need to make sure you are doing this for the best interest of your children. Good luck and GOD bless you.

Answer 8

Full custody means you have complete physical and legal custody of the children and Mom is granted "visitation" rights.

You can stump for it, but you have to put up a great case to get it; otherwise, it could be shared custody

Answer 9

maybe you could get joint custody of your children but make sure you get legal custody then they would live with you and she couldnt take them out of state or run off with them, this is what i have with my daughter and it works out good, talk to your attorney about it. It makes the other parent feel like they have a right too. But the judge will do what is best for the children. with you having joint but legal custody she will have visiting rights but the children will live with you.

Answer 10

If you have a good lawyer and put up a good fight in court,you could have custody of your kids.That would mean going into past history,bad experiences where she was neglegent or put the kids in harm.Full custody is when you are the permanent gaurdian,in charge of all decisions involving the kids.
Goodluck...

Answer 11

if what your saying is correct than you should seek custody of your children. let her see them so she does not feel all her world is ripped away. one day she may wake up and see things for what they are. and chance her lifestyle. in the meantime , at this point in time i feel you should seek custody. im a mom and i commend a man /woman that put their child's interest at heart. take a bow. remember she does love her children. she just lost her way and until she finds her way back they belong with you. in the future you may consider joint custody only and if? she changes her ways. gotta love ya!!!!!