I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. He is the type that change does not come easily to him. We have both agreed to keep this relationship slow, but it has been 5 years and he can't even ask me for my hand in marriage. He already knows that I want to be engaged for a long time before marriage, it is just the thought that he does want to be with me for the rest of our lives together. I don't know what to do at this point he won't even commit on living with me.
Is it because he hates change?
Or is this relationship going anywhere?
Are more relationships like this?
Does this mean that after 5 years he doesn't think he wants to be with me?
Should I give this more time?
2006-12-11 03:39:30 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My first marriage we were together for 10yr. For the first 5yrs we just dating. Living in different places. But after the first 2yrs he gave me a promise ring. You see my point to you is. Has he given you any kind of promise ring. I know when a relationship gets to the 5th yr. they call it the 5yr inch. That's a time when most couples deft apart or make that real comment. You need to ask him were is this relationship going.? and do we have a further? If he can't answer right then in there. He might say I don't know. Then you tell him OK in a few weeks I hope I get a answer. Tell him your going to need a answer. If he tells you he needs more time. That's up to you on how much more you can take. Dating is for two people to find out is this one for me. Can I spend the next 30+yrs with. Dating is not a comment. you need to read ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives and you and him need to read ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships and when you do become a MRS. read the proper care and feeding of husbands by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger there all great books easy reading you can them in most book stores.
2006-12-11 04:06:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you have to look between the lines there is something else going on here. The first question i would ask you is if he has been married before because if he has then that is probabley why he hesitates to jump into marriage again. Other that this are you guys happy? Do you go places together? Is he so routine like that he wont try anything new? And lastly do you feel like you are getting anywhere? If you dont feel like you are getting anywhere re evaluate what you want some men dont want commitment and never will some men do. maybe 5 years has been all the relationship can stand and it is just time to go your seperate ways you can not wait forever. How slow is to slow?
2006-12-11 03:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by kindra1988 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you truely love this man, you will give him more time. However, you need to find out if he is marriage material. He might enjoy living the "single" life. He won't even commit to living with you? There is a problem there. I would first of all make sure that you are the only one in his life. A man who won't even commit to living with someone has issues. You need to sit him down and explain to him how you feel. You are at a point in your life where you are ready to settle down and if he isn't, then you need to set him free. You shouldn't have to sit and wonder what's going on with him. Take the time and talk to him. This might be the end of your relationship, or it could be the beginning of your lives together. Good luck and GOD bless you.
2006-12-11 03:53:28 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I cant really tell u what to do ur gonna do what u want anyway exspesially after five years but i have seen it before from some of my friends and its useually because there not for sure if thats the person they want for the rest of their lives or its because there still looking and ur just there for now until the right one with that spark comes along and he just leaves. maybe u should talk to him it could be something as simple as hes just not ready yet but dont see why. good luck and i hope it all works out for u. Almost 3 years and i havent got the queation yet either. Weve had alot of things happen that werent so good but alot of good things too. Maybe hes still feeling the relationship because theres things that hes not to proud of, and needs time to make them right.
2006-12-11 03:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to ask him the same questions you just asked complete strangers. There is a lack of communication on your part if you have to come here to answer these questions. Five years is a long time to be with someone and you should feel comfortable enough to talk to him about your concerns. You have to ask yourself if you are willing to wait for him to make a change. I am sure there are more relationships like yours and the same thing applies...COMMUNICATION. Good luck and I hope you get everything you want out of life and your relationship. Happy Holiday!
2006-12-11 03:46:22 · answer #5 · answered by niedermn 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you living with him? If so, why should he want to marry you - he already has the best part.
If you're not, then I would give him the choice to either marry you or you should move on. 5 years is way more than enough time.
2006-12-11 04:08:58 · answer #6 · answered by susie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
heres my story take what you want from it. I dated a guy a total of 3 years. He told me the same thing, we planned on being together foever. I waited and waited to get married, we never did which eventually caused us problems (fighting). I left and about a year and half later I met a sweet man and fell deep in love he said the same thing, that he wanted to be with me forever. The only difference between the two stories is that, my husband now, made a move on the idea of marrying me, a month after we started dating.
I know that sounds realy fast, but it has worked for us and we are know waiting on our first child and still madly in love.
What i learned is 'when its right, its right and you know it'. same goes for when its wrong
2006-12-11 03:49:59 · answer #7 · answered by TEXAS 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
my husband and i were only dating for 8 months when he asked me to marry him . He asked me in my hospital bed while I was still recovering from cancer . I was only 36 and had been married one time before. He had never been married and he was 38 . I dont think this guy is ever going to commit to you . You are just a booty call or safe regular sex to him . forget him and move on too many good caring ones out there to deal with him . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-11 04:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After 5 years no ring.! Wake up lady, you are just safe regular sex. He has no interest in building a life with you. Stop wasting your time and dump him. There are plenty of men out there that can and will love you the way you want to be loved and needed
2006-12-11 03:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
after 5 years? if he's not going to ask, it's a new time and age, ask him if you really feel he is right.. if he says no, then it's time to think, as the relationship won't be going where you'd like it to.
depending on where you're located, if you're living together for a long duration, you'd fall under commonlaw marraige (in California it used to be 7 years).
2006-12-11 03:44:39 · answer #10 · answered by bilko_ca 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋