What to do with a 17 yr old????

Question

My cousin of 17th was cougth at a store stelling while she was with my aunt ,police to her to jail she was consider as an adult, that is not the problem the things that my aunt and uncle don't know what to do she talks back to them, she is a b & c student at school and she doesn't need anyhthing economically my uncle & aunt try to give her free time but they also spend time with her she is the youngest of 3.. My aunt called me to go talk to her she, cuz she cinsiders me like a sis because I lived with them for a couple of years..The problem is she doesn't want to talk with any one not even me, my aunt thinks it migth be a good idea to take to a boot camp, because she talk back, doesn't do shores, or anything at home, not even her room, my aunt and unlce had ground her, take away allowance and she seems not to understand or at least try to behave well I feel bad for her parents.What can be done to help her behave well at least w/ them? I'm Worried & would like to help her!! Any advice?

Answer 1

Wow, really bad spelling... As for the problem, more disipline and punnishment.

Answer 2

The child needs a good kick in the seat of the pants. Are there any consequences for her actions at home? They have to be consistant. Talk to your local police station, most towns have officers that will help. They can take her on a tour of the local JDC and county jail. She needs to know that there is a cause and effect relationship to all that she does. She is going to be an adult soon and will end up in jail if she is not careful. When my step daughter was being really horrible ( she is 18 and has moved out now) we took everything away. The only thing left her her room was a bed, a lamp, and a clock. She had to earn everything back, including her door. She had no privileges, I took her to school and picked her up. She was under adult supervision 24/7. She was beating people up, swinging at teachers, lying about where she was going and who she was with. Running away, smoking and drinking. We had our hands full and she was 15. It took her almost 2 years before she had a bedroom door. But it worked. She is a fairly responsible person now, she works 2 jobs to keep her apartment, and hasn't been in any trouble with the law.

Answer 3

they needed to get on top of this a lot earlier than 17. She should be tried as an adult and your parents shouldn't get her out of it. If she doesn't understand respenct and responsibility then she needs to learn it and being nice to her is not going to help her learn it. Boot camp sounds good. AS far as grades, some of the biggest drug users I knew in HS were some of the smartest, they were just bored. If they do not send her to boot camp they need to do some tough love. Even if that means stripping her room down to nothing but her bed and a desk w/o a computor. Supplying only jeans and a white shirt, button up @ that for her to wear and absolutly no allowance. the no allowance part is not that big of a deal, she is stealing any way. Get her to get a job, that they drop her off and pick her up, better yet, gether a job cleaning floors or something @ one of there jobs.

Answer 4

First off, your aunt and uncle should not be putting you in the position of having to be mediator. They are the parents. She does need them economically. She will end up in jail more often. She now has a police record. Good grades not withstanding. Boot camp may be a good idea, but the entire family needs counseling.

Answer 5

Not much you can do with her at this age and no longer a child. So called boot camps only work with willing participants plus she'd be free to leave on her own free will. I'm sure she did not just turn 17 but is very close to her 18th birthday. Your aunt & uncle will have to decide if it is time to show her the door.

Answer 6

Sadly, when you have a self-destructing family member, sometimes there's not much more you can do than sit back, watch them wreck themselves, and still be there to help them pick up the pieces.

It's sweet that you love your cousin so much that you want to help her, but it's really not your responsibility to help her get her life back on track. Just keep loving her like you're doing and showing her that you're concerned--remind her that you're always there when she wants to talk. You can also help by being an example to her!

Answer 7

Boot camp will help,my friend mother did that to help 10 year old after he kept hitting the teacher and her and being in fights now he 12 year old and guess what no more fight and the teacher said he a better student for it

Answer 8

Something may be bothering her if this is all of a sudden.... Also her being 17 she may just be testing her parents and what's out there... I don't have an answer for you, but be there for her... Try to hang out with her more... Don't let it get worse because then she may turn to other things.... You should also see if she has been hanging out with a new group of friends or a new boyfriend.... Sometimes different groups of kids have affects on other kids... Good Luck....

Answer 9

hey i'm not a parent but i am 17 and i used to act that way not to long ago, and once in a blue i have my talk back to my mother days but my parents are divorced i was constantly switching where i lived back and forth every year since i was 12. thing is my parents did everything your aunt and uncle did and it didnt work at one point i stopped goin to school my father tryed to negotiate with me but it still didnt work, i ended up dropping out of school and working a full time job the job i work is actually good but in order to get myself together i got into fights with my parents got arrested almost got my father arrested cause i wasnt going to school, i had to learn alot of things on my own and it wasnt easy, you dnt want your cousin to go through this crap the best thing to do is take her to go see a doctor, cause chances are that she probably doesnt even know wats her problem, and frankly boot camp isnt such a great idea cause my parents told me they were going to send me there and i was excited besides if she is sent over there she can get better or worse its a 50 50 chance, but the best thing to do is to go see a doctor cause like i said she probably isnt even talking to u about her problems cause probably isnt sure wat they are

good luck with everything

Answer 10

man... teenagers... they are trying to figure out who they are and how they fit into this big world as an adult ... these are very frustrating years for all involved.... how about some kind of big sister program... her friends may be the influnces she does not need at this time in her life... although... she does need some that is close to her age that she can respect... and open up to... think about it this way... the grown ups (in her mind) are the enemy... they know nothing... they want to control me... who are they ... they don't understand... that's why I am mentioning some kind of big sister that is a respectabble person to help guide her in these hard times... and be able to relate to her... as for the adults involved .... UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is the key... she will make mistakes... but this is where you are all building on how your relationship in the future is gonna be... she will be able to look back and see that no one ever gave up on her even in the hard times.... my heart is with you!!!!

Answer 11

There isn't much they can do, cause whatever they try to do she will rebel on them... its kind of like a waiting game.... I think all teenagers boy or girl go through this stage ( some are worse then others) It's just her age and hopefully she will grow out of it.... i was about 17 when i started to grow up.