of the accident, where my girlfriend's husband became severly brain damaged...i will not go into gruesome details...NOW I KNOW OF NO CHURCH THAT FORCES SOMEONE TO STAY WHEN IT WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR THE WIFE OR THE TWO KIDS...do you??? I feel she could put him in a home to visit him..that is NOT abandonment...what is wrong with that person???she is already losing her home over it...and he does NOT KNOW HER...i feel it is fine to do...WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE that feel she should stay when she does not want to???(THEY HAVE NOT WALKED IN HER SHOES)...
2006-12-11 03:19:12 · 9 answers · asked by sweet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The marriage vows are sometimes taken too literal. I dont think that if medical science existed on the level it does today, the term "til death do us part" would not exist. Your friend has every ethical and financial obligation to her children to sever the marriage. I know that you have heard of the term "for the betterment of all parties involved", this is the case here.
2006-12-11 03:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...
#1 - What are you doing getting involved with a woman who's married? If she wants out of the marriage, there are provisions in the bible for her to become divorced. While the chruch severely frowns on divorce, it is provided for in the bible. The chruch cannot force the two to stay together, and quite frankly, if she is staying married to him in this vegatative state, then maybe you should respect that and back off until something changes.
#2 - Marriage is for LIFE. LIFE, the act or will to live. It doesn't matter in what vegatative state the person exists in, as long as they are breathing, they are married in God's, and the courts eyes. Now, if the wife feels that the husband is no longer able to care for his family, then she can divorce him... but here lays the rub: What kind of person would she look like to her family and friends if she divorces her husband because he is incapacitated?
#3 - Let's say... you two get together. And for some reason, you lost your ability to provide for your 'new' family. It will be 18-months to 2 years before something in your line of work opens up again, and all you're left with is some minimum wage job... Now, using your logic, it's ok for her to leave because you can no longer provide for the family, and she's got kids mouths to feed, clothing to buy.. etc.
Face it bud, it's better for her to stick by her husband until she can no longer do so by marriage, get divorced, then move on with her life than to have you on the side while her husband is inacapacitated.
This is where YOU need to do the right thing.
JMHO
2006-12-11 11:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by rollng_thundr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so tough. I feel so sorry for people in these situations - on one hand they have a commitment they have made and someone they love, on the other hand, they are most likely doomed to a life alone.
I think divorcing him so she can move on is OK, but wait until the kids are older (16 or more) because this will be extremely traumatic for them, as if it isn't enough already.
I wish for the best for your friend.
2006-12-11 11:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because modern medicine has made people live longer, past the will of nature.
Honestly, remember the good old days when most people died around 35? Marriage didn't used to take this LONG!
2006-12-11 11:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everyone makes their own choices in life and whatever choices they make teach them something.If she wants to look after him,as a friend support her.If she wants to leave him,boost her selfesteem so that she has the courage and belief that she will survive.Vows were made yonks ago,no one really lives by them anymore...
2006-12-11 11:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it. It is HER life not anyone else. She is the one who has to live with the consequences of her decisions including losing her house, they don't, unless they want to give up their house to her. She is the one that has the say in whether she wants to remain married or not. NO ONE else does.
2006-12-11 11:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by brighterdayscounseling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should do what feels right for the kids, it's not like he would know that they were divorced...it's a sad situation but it would be better for her mental health for her to let go...and visit him and stuff...nobody should judge her for that....he would get better care anyway.
2006-12-11 11:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's fine too, it's probably what he would want her to do, to get on with her life
2006-12-11 11:26:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should move on... specially if it costing her home also, future is more important
2006-12-11 11:21:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋