why does everyone disappear when your life takes a turn for the worse?

Question

after being paralyzed by an accidental gunshot wound in 2001 over the next two years nearly all my friends disappeared one after another

Answer 1

"Fair Weather Friends" we all have them, the problem is you don't know it until you look for them and they are gone. Kinda sad isn't it. Just try not to be one of "them". As we get older, we learn to find new friends and are more selective, our standards are higher and our new friends are more qualified to handle the harder situations; however, some of those "fair-weather" ones still slip in! Good luck to you!

Answer 2

A friend in need is a friend indeed. We all find out how many friends we really have when we are faced with difficulties. I have always said the word friend is used to freely. If a man can go through his entire life and find one or two real loyal friends he is indeed wealthy. Friends today is often used improperly. A social partner is not neccessarily a friend. A real friend is one that would lay his life down for you. He will be there through the thick and thin of things. He will always put your needs and desires above his own. He will do his best to help you and not forget you in the time of need. To have good friends takes being a good friend. It is two ways. How many of us would be there for our friends? How many of us would expect others to be there for us? A friend gives without expecting anything back. A friend does not keep a record of what he has done for you. A good friend sticks closer than a brother. My nephew was also paralyzed at a young age due to a feak accident. He has also experienced this. He has also experineced some who pretend to be friends to look good. When the chips are down is when character is revealed. God be with you...he will never abandon you. Find a good church and you will find loyal friends! Love & peace to you.

Answer 3

Are you sure you didn't make it one of those situations where no one wanted to be around you? I know that you are going through alot and the mood swings are bound to come and go. But if you lied around and felt sorry for yourself that could have caused it. No one wants to be around someone like that, even though you had every right to feel that way. Also are you sure you didn't get mad at the world and tell them that you didn't need them and argue that you couldn't do this and that anymore because of you situation.

I hate that this happened to you and hope that you are coping a little better now. Look them up and ask them to come hang out or something. You will find more friends, if they didn't stick around then they weren't real friends anyhow.
I hate that you feel this way some of the coolest people I have ever known have been in a wheel chair. Some of the Best sex I ever had was this guy in a wheel chair.

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear that. The problem is that most of our friends don't care that much about us. They are fair weathered friends. Take a look at the friends you still have and see that those are the ones worth keeping. But please don't take this the wrong way...but you need to watch how you are to be around. Are you always moping complaining or hating life? This can turn even the best friend away. If they don't know how to help you and you are making them miserable then they just turn away. If thats not the case then they are just jerks and I am very sorry for that,

Answer 5

Because people are always afraid that bad circumstances might "rub off" on them. I noticed this when I had marital problems and had a subsequent divorce. I'm sure that we were good friends as long as everything was going fairly well, but when I really could have used a shoulder, they were hard to find. Unfortunately, I am very selective now about whom I befriend and what I tell then about myself. I think people don't know what to do or say and so they drift out of your life just because they might feel awkward not knowing what to do around you or to say to you. They may feel very bad about it and actually realize that they've kind of left you, but some circumstances make people afraid to do or say the wrong thing that might hurt you further.

God bless!

Answer 6

Sorry about your accident.

People tend to run from situations they aren't able to handle. It's hard for them to see you like this and they don't know what to say or how to act. You probably think they should just act normal but they just don't know what to do. Maybe you could make some new friends. Are you totally paralyzed? If you are then I don't know what to tell you because I've never known anyone personally that was totally paralyzed. Good luck to you and remember that your old friends don't mean to be "running" away from you....they just don't know how to act around you anymore.

Answer 7

I think the "everyone" you're talking about are not your friends, their just your acquaintances. Maybe, you weren't able to build a relationship that will tell them that their your friends. Rather, you've treated them as if they are only someone you know. Someone you've seen somewhere and never met after that; even if he/she comes to you everyday. So, when you came to a point that you need them as friends, they disappear.

Probably, your not a person who tells these people that their your friends. That's why they disappear one after another.

I suggest you call or talk to them. Tell them how you have appreciated the things that they have done for you. Who knows, after that they'll come to see you.

Or, you can look at it this way, they came to a point that they see you as a person who will not contribute to their welfare that's why they left you.

I just checkin' out both sides you know!

Answer 8

This is when you see who your real friends are. I think that when friends turn away in the bad times it shows that they are weak minded and cannot handle what lies ahead. It can be too much of a challenge for them. So, being weak minded they decide not to deal with the whole situation and move on.

Answer 9

Friendships are based on hostility. Your friends disappeared because you're not an object of competition anymore. Those who believe that there is a "true friend" somewhere out there is in denial.

Answer 10

This is the time you discover who your true friends are. I hope that one or two of them are still there for you. The others weren't much of a friend, were they? There are friends and there are acquaintances. The acquaintances really aren't worth much more than a "hello", but the friends..... always hold them dear.