My husband cheated on me, I found out by chance. It was a 7 month relationship, I don't know how long it would have went on if I didn't find out the way I did. One night my husband and I were arguing, I had to have a cop come over to help settle the situation. (My husband was accusing me of cheating). The cop that showed up just so happened to have be to a call the night before that my husband was involved in. That was, my husbands windshiekd was broke from this "girls" other boyfriend. My husband was caught where he should'nt have been. Well the cop said, when he arrived that my husband sure got that windshield replaced fast. He was the one who told me. When I told the cop the reason I called was that I was being accused of cheating, he laughed, My husband had told me something totally different. He was going to a chemical dependency sponoser house to go over material. WHAT A JOKE!!!!!!!!. So I told the cop my husband was physically hurting me and had him thrown in jail.
2006-12-11 02:59:51 · 34 answers · asked by marcy d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband tells me he will never do it again, I want to believe him, but I don't trust him. Nobody wants to be cheated on, and I've never stayed with a cheater. I do love my husband, but I am having a hard time dealing with it. I don't know if he's only sorry that he got caught. How do I know if he is honest? He's betrayed what our wedding vows are. His one excuse for cheating was that he thought that I was cheating. I had not cheated, I take my vows very serious!! He was all I needed. I don't know if he'll cheat again, he hides thing so well, and is a very good liar.
2006-12-11 03:05:51 · update #1
From what you said, not only is he a cheater, he is a liar and sounds like he can be abusive too. It looks like it is time for you to leave and get out of that situation. Sorry, but from what you have said, that is how it looks from this side.
2006-12-11 03:06:35 · answer #1 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes he will cheat again. It is not true "once a cheater always a cheater". But the way this guy tried to cover his tracks so quickly means that he thinks these type of things out well and plans ahead. Also, him stating that you are cheating means that he has a guilty conscience and he says this when he is guilty or has done something wrong. Get rid of him, there are plenty of men out there who would love to be in a relationship with someone who is faithful.
2006-12-11 03:08:14 · answer #2 · answered by freddy_calhoun 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a really sad situation but my gut has always told me "once a cheater, always a cheater." And in this situation, he was in a relationship for SEVEN months. That's a long time. He knew he was in the wrong and didn't even break it off himself. It might be different if he had a drinking problem, got really drunk and had sex one time with someone, then got help for the drinking problem. This doesn't sound like that kind of situation. It sounds like he was okay with himself for 7 months cheating on you with someone else. I'm sorry honey, but this just doesn't sound good. That's my honest opinion.
2006-12-11 03:19:09 · answer #3 · answered by MARIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a firm believer that "once a cheater, always a cheater". However, people DO make big ass mistakes. You need to figure out why he was with someone else and take it from there, whether it be counseling, separation, divorce, etc. If you truly love eachother, you may be able to work it out. Lying to the cops about him beating you is another story. Yes, you have the right to be very angry and hurt, but hurting him back out of spite isn't going to make the situation any better.
2006-12-11 03:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by cna_77381 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't trust him...while you obviously love your husband very much....I'm afraid his feelings aren't the same for you. I'd say, yes, he's only sorry that he got caught. Make yourself 2 lists....positives and negatives of being married to him.....wiegh all your pros and cons....I would say the 4 strikes against him right from the beginning are: 1) emotional abuse, 2) lying, 3) cheating, 4) chemical dependancy. Take a long hard look at yourself...you sound like a very loving, kind, honest, faithful lady, and deserve to be treated the same! Best of luck to you....
2006-12-11 03:16:38 · answer #5 · answered by Shelly B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how convienant to blame the victim, and say he thought u were the cheater. how comes he didn't talk to u about it instead of going out and finding love in someone elses bed? if he was even sorry, if he even admitted he had made a mistake, or begged forgiveness, but he hasn't. his response to your finding out was not that of a remorseful man, instead he lays all the blame on u. so this is basically the way he handles things, to blame other's, and not be accountable. if he doesn't admit to it, than u can't do anything to solve it. is this how he is going to handle every problem u and he have? personally i would divorce him you not only have cheating and betrayal to deal with, but also abuse. there is no way of knowing if he will continue with the cheating, but i would bet he does.
2006-12-11 04:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your husband but from the way it sounds he will cheat again and again and again. It's probably best that you go ahead and file for divorce. You may need to seek counseling so you won't pick the same type of guy again. Usually we get on a pattern choosing men and pick the same kind over and over. If you talk to a psychologist you may be able to help yourself in more ways than you could ever imagine. Good luck to you.
2006-12-11 03:06:04 · answer #7 · answered by buzzbait0u812 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel because it is about the same as me and my husband go. It is actually hard to trust him again because you do not know if he is still seeing her behind your back or not. My husband says it was a one night stand but was it? You never know if they will cheat again but I heard once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-12-11 03:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by may s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 months is a LONG time to have a relationship for spite. Sounds like he was not getting the kind or amount of attention at home and sought it elsewhere. I'm not saying it's your fault, becaue often men bring on the kind of attention they get at home by their own retardation!
I think you should divorce him. It's the only reason justified in the New Testament for divorce.
2006-12-11 03:14:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he actually hit you? If he didnt you are so shallow! So what if he cheated, you are being the butt by lying on him, he could lose his job because of you. If I were your husband I would throw your butt in jail and sue you for punitive damges incurred for his false arrest. Did you think about that during your crime of passion. Well, the same goes for your husband. He did not think about the repercussions of his actions before he had his tryst. You both deserve each other! Two dumb butts are better than one! If I were him, I would cheat again, because my wife is a controlling, manipulative, self absorbed immature, and naive butt!
2006-12-11 03:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋