My live-in boyfriend of 3 years has been caught 10-11 times having phone sex via chat programs on his cell phone. This started only 3 months after he moved in with me. He downloads these chat programs on his phone and uses them to seek out women to have phone sex with WHILE HE'S AT WORK (because he can't do it when he's at home obviously). He's run his cell phone bill up to over $900 several times because of this, due to the sheer number of text messages. The calls start at 6AM when he gets to work, and stop around 5PM just before he leaves work, every single day except Sunday, when he's off work...and there are THOUSANDS of text messages per month.
I keep catching him, and he keeps apologizing and saying he'll never do it again. To my knowledge, it's been about 3 months since the last time he did anything like this, and I'm trying so hard to believe he's truly stopped this ridiculous behavior. But I don't know that I can ever stop being suspicious. How would you handle this?
2006-12-11 02:53:05 · 9 answers · asked by Heather C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been through a similar experience, except it wasn't phone sex. It was just lots and lots of chatting/emails to and from a personals site. My co-worker was looking at a personals site for herself when she found my ex-husband's ad!! Of course, she showed it to me. He continued to do this over and over until I realized how stupid I'd been. Men who do this repeatedly will likely NEVER change!! Don't waste your time!
2006-12-11 02:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by danika1066 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Obviously the cell phone bill is kind of hard to hide when he is doing all the chatting and that will become obvious if he is still doing that. I hate to say it, but if you are not catching him, chances are it is only because he has found another way of hiding it from you. He may be doing it on line from work now since the phone keeps getting him busted.
A fox is a fox and just because he is not raiding the coop when you are looking does not mean that when you turn your back he is not doing it again or found a new way into the coop. Chances are he has not changed and if you do not trust him, you need to move on and find you someone that will spend his efforts and attention on you and not some chick over the phone.
2006-12-11 03:03:06 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's talk about addictions, honey. Because this is what he has --- $900 is sure enough an addiction in anyone's language, and that it is phone sex...... uhhhh..
If someone is addicted, be it porn, drugs, alcohol, phone sex, that person already has a relationship, it just isn't with you!!!!!! If you wish to be number two, always in this guy's life, stick around..... it gets really old after awhile, and hon, it won't change, at least not for long..... Addictions are rarely successfully treated, and never really cured. Even an alcoholic will tell you he is still an alcoholic, just not drinking anymore (or at least not presently). He'd really like to be able to tell you he will never do it again, and he'd sincerely like to believe it himself....
What do you do? Firstly understand he has a personality defect that will likely not change. Now you have to decide if the deceipt is worth staying, or if you would be better off finding someone who has time for a relationship.....
2006-12-11 05:41:35 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he will keep on doing this. This behavior could turn into somthing worse its like a drug you need something heavier and heavier each time. Don't stand for this habit tell him to quit or get out. Do you have children than can be effected by this? If you do they have counselors for this type of thing if he wants to change. If he doesn't then you need to make a serious decision. One thing I have learn is when women love a man they take to much sh-- off of them. He has already lied once or twice right? God bless you to be strong and find someone single that will respect you.
2006-12-11 03:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, this is something I wouldn't be able to get past. I'd have to seriously consider dumping him. I doubt it started only 3 months after moving in together, too. That is something that he's probably been doing behind your back in some form the whole time, it's just harder for him to conceal it now that you live together.
You can try to get past it and move on with him, but it will always be in the back of your mind and you won't trust him.
2006-12-11 03:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your just wasting your time with someone like this, if he is having phone sex, how long will it be till he has real sex, and brings some disease in to your bed? he odviously isn't satisfied with what he has, why torture yourself, and just be glad u found out before u married him or had children, where it would be a little bit harder to get free from. i would move on and let him have all the phone sex he likes. respect yourself first, and don't comprimise your beliefs, or make excuses for him. u will be suspicious forever, that will never stop.
2006-12-11 04:31:42 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them not to call unless its an emergency because you are sick and tired of you and your going to b husband arguing and its not going to get any better if they keep calling better yet don't pick up the phone let them leave whatever they have to say on voice mail they will stop
2016-05-23 05:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the asshol
2006-12-11 02:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by floozy_niki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he does it again take his cell phone and beat him upside the head with it
2006-12-11 02:56:43 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋