My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I am really ready to get married. Or at least engaged. He says let it go with the flow becasue we haven't been together long enough. I say 3 years is long enough to know if you want to marry someone. He says 5-10 years. But I am 27 and he's 29. Come on now 10 years from now!!!! But anyway, what say you??? I really need an answer to this.
2006-12-11 02:45:17 · 12 answers · asked by Ice Queen 79 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, this is a big red flag. If you are in love (and have thought things through in a practical way as well) then no amount of time really is too short. My husband and I were together 5 months before we moved across the country together for my new job. That was 3 years ago. We'll be married 2 years in May, and we couldn't be happier. When you know, you just know. If he doesn't know yet and is saying it will be many more years before he does know, then I would not waste my precious time. This is a bad sign if you ask me ...
2006-12-11 02:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by danika1066 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to grow up. Normally after a year, u know that person, after two, u can make a decision if this is someone u are willing to keep in your life. 5-10 years?? I think he is basicly letting you know that he really isnt really wanting marriage anytime soon. There really honestly is no time limit to know if you love someone enought to marry them. Some people get married after just a couple of months of knowing each other. Also, if you guys are currently living with each other, it will definately make it difficult for him to even consider wanting to marry u, cuz he has the best of both worlds right now,,,, So you might want to consider getting ur own place and letting him feel how u not being there all the time would be. He might just realize that he wants the married life,,, which would mean, u an him, living and learning together .
2006-12-11 03:05:44 · answer #2 · answered by C J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 3 years is plenty, but it's a personal thing and all depends on your relationship. It's hard for any of us to judge that when we don't know you. Everyone's different.
Personally, I feel 3 years is more than enough time to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone though!
Ask him what his doubts and fears are. Maybe there's something holding him back, something he's insecure about. Have a heart-to-heart. Marriage is too big an big issue to not agree on.
If he's worth it, you can try to compromise and respect his need to wait if he can agree to seriously consider trying to take it to the next level. If you cannot come to some sort of understanding, it's probably time to start thinking about moving on, going for what you really want in life which sounds like marriage.
2006-12-11 02:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats shorter and longer than most relationships. I mean there are people that are together forever before they get married and there are some that get married within only months of knowing each other. As far as your situation I would say at least an engagement is better than okay.
2006-12-11 03:05:49 · answer #4 · answered by guardianangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say 3 years is not long enough. marriage isnt a minor step. It will change your life 4ever. Hes just takin it slower than u. My advice is for u to listen 2 him so when u finally do get married it will work out. Personally my parent were together 4 twenty years and when they finally got married it all crumbled apart. KEEP building trust.
2006-12-11 02:55:02 · answer #5 · answered by leezymleezy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well for starters you two are at different places in your lives . He obviously wants to wait and you dont . so therefore you have to make a decision do you want to wait or do you want to go and find someone who is at the same place you are ? I definately agree that waiting 5 to 10 yrs maybe a mistake as you two would definately may be too far along to have children . I would not want to have children in my 40 s or 50 s. So you have to ask yourself are you willing to wait for this ? good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-11 03:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
R u kidding? 3 years is TOO long. If your not at least engaged by now, forget it. Sad but true. I didnt want to believe that either, but same thing happened to me. He has other agendas than you.
2006-12-11 03:07:40 · answer #7 · answered by TEXAS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every person is different and just because you are ready doesn't mean that he is if you are at totally different points in your life maybe you have to take a look at the relationship and see if you want to wait or if you want to get out and find someone who is at the same place as you
2006-12-11 02:53:46 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a long relationship, definitely.
2006-12-11 02:52:31 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 yrs is too long. If he doesn't make a commitment, move on.
2006-12-11 02:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋