Does my ex-husband have the right to ship his children off to his parents for weeks at a time?

Question

My ex-husband demanded 8 weeks of summer visitation during our divorce. He now claims that he does not have the time for them, and he sends my 11 year old and 15 year old to his parents for weeks at a time. My children claim that their grandparents do not treat them well when their father is not around. We also knew about the bad treatment before the divorce, and my ex and I promised the children that they would not have to see their grandparent alone. But since the divorce, that has all changed. Also, my ex is a lawyer and threatens to fight everything in court, and I do not have the financial means to fight back.

Answer 1

Have the children tell your lawyer what is going on during these so called visitations with their father and I would also make it clear to the lawyer that the children are not treated well by their grandparents. Okay he has lied to the children when telling them they would not be subjected to their grandparents alone . Now your kids know that their father is a liar and knows now not to believe anything he says. So what hes a lawyer . A judge worth anything is going to take into consideration what the children have told him and he will make it more than clear to your ex that he will be present during the visitations if not then he possibly will not be able to maintain his visitation rights that has happened here with a couple of cases . So definately do what you need to do so your kids can be happy. good luck and god bless and happy holidays.

Answer 2

Does the grandparents really want the children or are they resentful that they are being forced to keep them? Maybe if you could talk to them and ask this question... I know you probably can't. If possible the children and his parents need to talk to him and express what they want and if that does work I guess you'll have to partition the court for a hearing... My first efforts would be to try to keep it out of the courts. Your children are getting old enough to voice the choice in the matter regardless of what the papers say... if it went to coourt the kids could tell the judge how they feel and the judge will take their wishes into consideration so your ex being an attorney won't matter because it's him against his children not him against you... good luck!

Answer 3

Take him back to court fast.. your 15 year old is old enough to decide weither he wants to go or not.... your husband has no say in that one really..... as for your 11 year old when she/he gets up on the stand have it be told why they hate thier grandparents.... No judge will allow children in a home where danger could be involved..... Just because your husband is a lawyer means nothing... Mothers have more right then fathers.... I would file papers as soon as I could and see him in court and tell the judge what he does and have the children tell thier sides.... i am sure you will come out on top... Good Luck

Answer 4

My ex is a lawyer too and I sympathize with your dilemma. I think you know though that he has the right to see them for his visitation and if he chooses to send them to his parents's, you (and the kids) will just have to cope with it. In court, grandparents have been given the right to visitation as well.

You could try just taking nicely to him about the fact that the kids are unhappy, without being accusatory or negative.

You know too that your ex WILL try to fight you on everything as that's how lawyers are. If he refuses to budge about sending the kids to his parents, you may have to call them directly and tell them your concerns. I think the bottom line is that he is going to make you give him visitation because he can, and unless you have a lot of money (or time to do all of the research yourself), you are kind of stuck - I know that I am!

You don't say how old your kids are. Mine are 17, 14 and 11, and all of them have expressed to their father and to his family that they DO NOT want to visit. I was proud that even when bribed with all kinds of money and gifts, they STILL refused to go and understood that they were being bribed. This made them very angry and since we divorced 18 months ago, all have refused to even speak to his family on the phone.

You may have to wait until they get a little older before they see what's going on. As long as nobody is actually causing them harm, you may have to live with less-than-perfect visitation. Rest assured that your children are smart and will see the whole picture at some point.

Again, my advice is to play nice with the ex and his family and hope that they will come around.

God bless!

Answer 5

Get an attorney, and take the order back to the court and have it adjusted. The children are old enough to be able to have a voice in court. It worked for me many years ago. The children do have rights, and they have the right be be heard by the judge. Look into it.

Answer 6

After reading, the first thing that came to me is she has a big heart and is very brave. Now, in my experience in life, I find nothing works out unless all parties put effort into something, no matter what it is, and it seems like shes the only person actually putting effort into it, making her feel negative, which I can't blame her. The part where you said that he has no interest in what she's doing, but would gladly make her listen to all the things in his life, and openly lying about it. It's sorta like he's saying, "Hey, don't worry about you, now ME, I'm doing this, I'm doing that! Isn't that fantastic!". Now this isn't good at any rate, to be blunt.. It's been selfish when he should be more into hearing about what she has to say, not what he has to say. Now, it's obvious she has been hurt by this experience, now she needs to take some time to think about the experience; Is this experience helping her?, Does this experience make her happy?, What is she going to get in the long run from this experience? and finally.. "Is this experience worth it?".. Personally, I would say no, it's obvious part if not most/all of her doesn't like being treated this way, and I know I wouldn't like it either.. Don't think anyone would like it. Now, when the family got involved, my first thought was. "What have they got to do with it, isn't this between them two?". Anyway, it's REALLY unfair that they pressured her into continuing the contact. If you ask me, they would atleast ask her why she doesn't want to visit, and leave her to her decision. In my view, it does seem like he's saving the negative behaviors for her, like not wanting to know how shes doing in life, and not reaching out to her, but expected her to reach out to him everytime. The fact he likes to keep the families separate is weird if you ask me too. With all the lies he's apparently telling, he's trying to fool people into thinking he's something he isn't, which isn't good for him or the people who come into contact with him. Personally, if I was her, I wouldn't go anymore.. And if the other side of the family try and force her, she should just explain why she doesn't wish to go, and that it's impacting her negatively. If they choose to not except that and try and pressure her more, she could just not have contact with that side of the family, if they honestly keep trying to force her then it's obvious they aren't interested in how she feels and how it's effecting her and are therefore not worth it. Hope I helped in some way.

Answer 7

Whaaat??? No he doesn't! What a jerk! You need to get an attorney and get sole custody of your children. He just wanted summer visitation so he could take the kids from you...he knew that would hurt you. He's a sick bastard! He is just hurting himself....his children are going to resent him. Question, your ex doesn't pay alimony???

Answer 8

I think that is horrible I would hate to send my kids somewhere they didn't want to go I'd call his bluff I'd say take me to court the kids are old enough to say what goes on it that house.

Answer 9

it seems like you got a lot on your hands rite now.....tell him that you dont want your kids going thru this....if it comes down to it you can talk to a lawyer for free and if he likes your arguement he or she mite take your case and set up a payment plan but im not saying they will but you can consalt a lawyer for free with out them doing anything.....jus ask them wut you could do about the whole cituation

Answer 10

is he remarried? If he's still single....and has to have them for months in the summer...andstill work, and still pay child support...what is he suppose to do with them while he's at work? If he doesn't have a wife to sit home and take care of them for you while their visiting with him???