If you found out two years later that your husband had sex with a woman at his bachelor party? I want to leave him... now what would you do?... yes he took a young lady to a hotel the week before I'll wedding and had sex with her and he is just telling me because I keep asking him what happened that night when he din't come home til 4am..what would you do lady's..
2006-12-11 02:06:10 · 20 answers · asked by ladytee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for the last two years he has been a wonderful man to me body & soul.. but how could he do this.
2006-12-11 02:11:54 · update #1
he also said it was something he wanted to get off his chest, since we were only 22 at the time and had been together for three years , he wanted to have sex one last time before he said "I Do" to make sure he would'nt ever do it again.. and he is always under me everyday for the last two years. and we now have a son.
2006-12-11 02:21:07 · update #2
karen, he's not sorry.. he has gotten me a 4bedroom house last christmas and I don't work he pays all the bills and I stay at home with my 2year old son... and this christmas I will get a mini van.. so he takes care of his.. this was before we were married..
2006-12-11 07:06:08 · update #3
It happened two years ago! Has he given you any indications that he has cheated again? You say he treats you well, then try and forget about the past and bury it (i know it is difficult for us women), but try and do it otherwise it will put a strain on your marriage. Try not to nag him too much, otherwise it may drive him into another woman's arms. Seek counselling if that doesn't work. Good luck.
2006-12-11 02:52:03 · answer #1 · answered by Riderya 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would kick his sorry butt to the curb. That's would I would do because I know myself and I know I could never really forgive him. In large part this is because EVERY time I've given someone a 2nd chance, they've just gone on to betray me a 2nd time. So given that lesson in my life, I wouldn't waste any more time.
To be honest, given the fact that this situation bothered you for two years, I'm doubting you'll be able to let it go either. A lot of women (foolish women, IMO), would have let the incident go. The fact that you pushed him for this long likely means that you are not that type of person and it might be best to call it quits.
In any case, I would recommend some counseling to help you handle your anger at the fact that he deliberately screwed some tramp while while preparing to marry you. Oh, and I'd get a check up to make sure this prize didn't give you an STD.
2006-12-11 10:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As horrible as this sounds I would leave him. Basing the whole marriage on lies, and dishonesty was not a good choice for him. I do not forgive cheating.
That kind of behaviour is disrespectful, hateful, and really questions his character.
I would no longer trust him and without trust I don't see a future.
For the last two years he has lied to you. (even if he has not cheated anymore.)
If you wish to work things out that is your decision. Perhaps counselling could help.
For cheating there is no valid excuse. 22 is young but young people have married before and not cheated. Sex to make sure you don't want to cheat anymore doesn't really make sense to me. I know of people who married much younger and there has been no cheating. It doesn't sound like he has even really accepted responsibility. (it wasn't my fault I just wanted to be sure...)
If you stay to work things out then I wish you the best of luck for a good future. (and I truly hope he has learned how to be a real man)
2006-12-11 10:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by artimis 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I not a lady, but I'll answer anyways.
I think that what he did was unacceptable and extremely disrespectful. Especially when he "knew" he was getting married within a matter of days.
He cheated on you, no matter how he wants to look at it. I say leave him. You can't trust him and if he is willing to do it once without shame, then what's stopping him from doing so again? Leave him. There are much better fish in the sea.
2006-12-11 10:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If my future husband came home at 4:00 a.m. I have called off the wedding until he could account for where he had been or fessed up. It is too late now. You can either get over it and forget it or leave. You sound like you do not trust your husband if you have been asking him for two years. I think in your heart you already knew. Either stop bringing it up or leave. Good luck.
2006-12-11 10:21:49 · answer #5 · answered by angie a 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its been 2 years. Look at the last 2 years has he gave you a reason to think he is still cheating? You have a right to be mad , but if your looking for a reason to leave him , just leave . Dont bring up 2 years ago to have a reason.
2006-12-11 10:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by blwatson41 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Too late now! If I was about to get married and my groom wouldn't tell me why he didn't come home until 4 am last night, I'd call off the wedding.
My boyfriend knows that if he sleeps with anybody else, that's it, it's over between us and I know he won't.
You shouldn't have gone through with the marriage and, now that you have, forget whatever happened before the wedding and concentrate on how he's treating you now after the vows were said.
2006-12-11 10:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You need to look at your entire relationship. What kind of husband has he been? Have you had any other reasons not to trust him? Can you get past this? If you cannot get past this then there is no need to ask what someone else would do because you will torture yourself with the what if's in your mind. You will also torture him, especially if he has been a good and faithful husband since the party. Only you can decide what you can handle.
2006-12-11 10:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tara S 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a personal decision. If you've been hounding him for 2 years about this, I sincerely doubt you will ever be able to put it behind you. He obviously gave up on that. You have finally been told the truth. If you cannot forgive him, you need to leave him.
Anyone besides me think she shouldn't post a question if she didn't want to really hear the truth? You want to put up with this crap and you're looking for someone else to agree with that sick philosophy. Go ahead. You don't need to insult the rest of us.
2006-12-11 10:11:06 · answer #9 · answered by Firespider 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if he did not come home till 4 am you can bet your bottom dollar some hanky panky was going on and now I would be suspicious as hell about him cause once cheating starts it never ends . Oh my would i leave . I dont get into the forgiving business that is on gods end. good luck and god bless you and happy holidays.
2006-12-11 11:59:49 · answer #10 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋