what do you think about a person who you see walking down the street who can't make eye contact, walks with a bad posture, and looks nervous? would you find the person looking unattractive, ugly?i'm talking about me. i have social anxiety and go through this most of the time because i'm uncomfortable in my own skin around my others and people always say negative stuff about me that makes me feel down. I feel like if i can be myself than people might actually find me pretty because some people that i am comfortable around tell that i am pretty.
2006-12-11 01:57:19 · 16 answers · asked by geneva1124@sbcglobal.net 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Why do you care what other people think of you? You will never be independent until you stop getting your self-worth from others.
When I see people like that walking down the street or otherwise, I always just tell myself that everyone has their reasons for how they behave and it's probably none of my business. I don't judge, and I hope others don't judge me as well.
2006-12-11 02:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by It's Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have SA as well, so I know exactly how you feel. Everyone tells me to not worry about what others think of me, but it is impossible. I will never be an outgoing person and I will never be able to walk down the street as someone who is confident...it is just not in my nature. So, I try to turn my unattractive anxiety into attractive shyness... if that makes any sense. When I go out into public I wear a cute outfit that I feel pretty in and I make sure that my hair and make-up are done nicely. I also find it helpful to have something to hold like a purse or ipod... for some reason, this helps my anxiety a little. I also like to wear sunglasses. It's a bit easier to look someone in the eyes if they can't see the nervousness in mine. I try have a slight smile and try to make my expressions look "soft". This stuff might sound weird, but it helps.
Just don't give up. SA hurts me inside more than I can describe. I just try to come up with my own ways to deal with it. There are people who give me a hard time or make fun of me, but I also meet people who are attracted to my shyness and find it an endearing part of my personality. Good luck to you!
2006-12-11 11:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I come across such a person, I wouldn't label the person as necessarily ugly or unattractive.
Instead, I'd be concerned about the welfare of the person because a person who appears to be higly anxious should be helped.
Do you go for therapy? I feel that you should talk to a therapist about your problem.
I'm no expert so therefore I can't dispense any tips!
But this I'll say:
Give no cause for others to talk bad or give negative comments/remarks. You should take the first step by smiling more often. Learn to walk and stand tall and with confidence. I know it might be hard but do not give a hoot to what people say or think!
Going out with friends you're comfortable with and having coffee with them is a good start to feel at ease with company and in busy surroundings.
Best wishes!
2006-12-11 10:14:43 · answer #3 · answered by xxon_23 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't find the person unattractive. The most confident looking person has "skeletons in the closet". Nobody's perfect, everyone has their own issues, some people are just better at hiding it from the world. Don't be nervous because like I said, everyone has problems - you would be surprised. You gave the people that told you that you were pretty, a chance to see the real you. You should trust them, and remember what they said next time you walk down the street.
2006-12-11 10:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by I scream for ICE CREAM!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say... I wouldn't find that person unattractive or ugly, however, I would say unapproachable. There is no reason for you to feel that way, I'm sure you are a great person and you should feel confident in your skin. That is the number one thing that most people seek in a partner is confidence. Self-conciousness can be a turn-off, however, if you start talking to people and are fine once you are in conversation, than that's a completely different thing. If you can carry on a conversation without downing yourself than I wouldn't worry a bit. Just look up and enjoy life!
2006-12-11 10:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by blackbeltbabe88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go out there with your head high and tell yourself no one is better than you because this is true you are beautiful just a little shy .by the way a lot of men like shy girls and all men prefare modesty over big headedness so go girl have fun dont worry about what you think other people think because the ones that fancy you will say and the others will probanly totally disregard you thats the way it works interest or ignore try to feel good about yourself th rest will follow
2006-12-11 10:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by madeleine b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess u can hide ur nervosness.people who openly show their such qualities are not respected by people.so improve that.
then when u meen u cant make eye contact it can be gud an bad
respect.sumtimes it means taht u face the world to look towards a goal without interference of others.it can also mean that r nervous
then wen u mean bad postuer is it a hunch or a fiddling with things???
the first shows ur diffident and the 2 shows ur nervous
i really hope u find this useful
2006-12-11 10:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! I have been there. I even put on so much weight it started effecting my health. I started making changes in myself... both physical and mental. I found out that the perception I thought people thought of me was wrong. I decided that my opinion should count first and so I took a good look at myself and started to fix the things I did not like. I can look anyone in the eyes and smile because of who I am not who they think I am... lol
2006-12-11 10:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by lepluver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for people like that and would probably reach out to them, rather than ignore them. Like you admit, their anxiety has a lot to do with their feelings of self worth and self esteem. Unfortuantely, it is not a forgiving world and society (as a whole and generally speaking) would rather ignore you because you make them uncomfortable or they judge you as being not worth dealing with. You need to make yourself an affirmation tape and listen to it twice a day. It's not what people tell you that you believe, it's what you tell yourself. When you hear the affirmation tape in your voice telling yourself that you are beautiful and creative and smart anad capable, you will evetually start to believe it and your behavior will follow. I used to be "shy" and anxiety prone until I made my tape. I believe it saved my life. 15 years later, I am still listening to it twice a day to keep my sanity in check.....
2006-12-11 10:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by beetlejuice49423 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you seem like talking about me 2 years ago. it's so depressing. but now it's changed with me.
i don't know how but I'll tell you what the changes in my life associated with that:
-i changed my friends (i'm still in toutch with them & still love them) but they used to put me down all the time
- i became a student in a university
- i stoped asking others everything & try to be me (i do what i think is right).. before i wouldn't wear a skirt if the others don't like it.
- i don't care any more what people think about me ( except the close ones)
2006-12-11 10:08:43 · answer #10 · answered by sagadanah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋