wife not turned on?

Question

Whenever i make love to my wife she just lays there 90% of the time. We make love 3 times a month. We are newly weds.She is turned on by muscular men , i am not.Neither am i skinny or fat.
Sex with my exes was explosive. She says sex with her exes was explosive too.I ve even stopped trying to make moves on my wife.I dont want to get hurt or dissapointed.I tell her i love throughout the day, fix n serve her meals try to cuddle in bed, kiss her, hold her etc yet she says i dont do romantic things for her enough to turn her on before sex.What im i supposed to do, buy a million flowers a week? She loves me n i love her too.But shes not turned on by me or interested in sex. She only does it for my sake.Im getting frustrated now and when we talk about it she says i should put on muscle. So does that mean when i beef up she will be turned on? She says sex with her exes was explsoive yet only one of them was muscular.Rest were skinny or average joes. What is the problem? Im about to give up..

Answer 1

You should try making love to her instead of just sex. Caress her body and worship it. Kiss and grope all over her. Make her feel so sexy and she'll start getting hot. Don't just jump right into the love making, take it slow. It sometimes takes women time to get heated up, but once they are heated up, it becomes hard to cool them down. If need be, try something new like roleplaying, or have her dress up and tell her how sexy she is, or try kama sutra. Or even try porno, it often works too. Don't give up on her, you just have to find what makes her hot, make it a quest, make it fun. Ask her what she wants to do and try it. I don't think the muscles make a big difference, it's the way you treat her. Women love to have their body worshiped by men, so try it.

Answer 2

The simple truth is that her insistence that you have big mucles is crap. If that was all that turned her on, she would have only gone out with guys like that before and she would have never married you.

So stop worrying about the muscles. Visits to the gym will solve nothing. Nor will flowers or breakfast in bed. She's using that as excuses to compensate for her lack of desire.

I would strongly recommend that she see a doctor to ascertain if there might be a medical reason for a lack of desire. In women especially, hormone fluctuations can completely kill desire and nothing a man does makes any difference. Ask her if she feels sexual desire at all or if she can orgasm when she masturbates. Or perhaps, there is a psychological problem that is diminishing her desire. Counseling might help.

If that is not the problem, then the problem lies between the two of you. Because, truthfully, perhaps you two simply don't have chemistry. Nothing can compensate for that. I would advise you to get a divorce. I would sincerely tell you that you cannot go on like this and demand that you two seek help or you'll be leaving.

Answer 3

Sound like ur just trying to do ur Job as her hubby.I think shes just Expecting too much out of you.I mean im like that with my hubby sometimes,but not because hes skinny or fat in fact his in realy good shape...
maybe you two should seek some counceling,Or tell her that she should join you in working out at the gym.if she doesnt want to then why should you even bother.She married you for who you are.Just keep doing what you do.Ur not the issue she is,and if she cant change then you need to move on life is too short.

Answer 4

If she was turned on by muscles it makes no since why she married you if you don't have them. I don't think she really knows what she really wants. Maybe something is bothering her inside and this is making her turned off of making love to you. If you can't talk to each other about this without making the other feel uncomfortable then maybe you should suggest some kind of counseling to find what the real problem is. good luck to you ;o)

Answer 5

Did you guys have this problem BEFORE you married her? If she is so shallow that she cannot get turned on unless you have ripped muscles then you need to get rid of her and find somebody that loves you for who you are, not what your muscles look like.

Answer 6

I think you should be prepared of divorce straight way. This is sure sign that your wife is no more interested in you sexually and that way you cannot continue with her... so instead of masturbating or having sex with others you should start taking advice regarding how would you see her off or see her well.

Answer 7

Why are you just now finding out that she maybe is unattracted to you? Weren't there any signs before you tied the knot? What will you do now? Too late to try anything new.