I am a lesbian and a guy I worked with asked me out....?

Question

This guy I work with asked if I would like to have a beer and watch a movie with him sometime. He has no idea I am gay. I didn't tell him I am gay because I am not out at work. I simply told him I was flattered but I don’t date people I work with. Ever since he asked me out I have been obsessing about how I look in front of him, I make excuses to walk past him at his desk and I flirt with him. I even dyed my hair to get his attention. So that he would notice and give me some more attention. Even though I date women now I used to be with men when I was younger. I do find my co-worker attractive but his personality sucks. If I were straight still I would never go out with him. Why am I acting this way? I know that it is wrong for me to lead him on. I guess it just feels good to be desired. I don’t know, what do you think my deal is?

Answer 1

It sounds like you know what the reason is. It is not because you question your sexuality, but a person finds you attractive and that feels good to everybody. So you want him to keep finding you attractive. It makes you feel good. That is totally normal and I am sure I would do exactly the same thing if I was ever asked out. If the guy is a total jerk who is full of him self, then go on and tease him. But if he is a nice guy who had to raise the courage to ask you out, then try to be nice. I don't think you should go on brakeing his heart as an ego boost. So if he is nice, then you may want to leave him alone for a bit so he can turn his attentions else where.
B

Answer 2

I think that whether you're gay or not having a relationship with somebody in the office is very very dangerous, because sooner or later something will go wrong and there is the risk that all the trust that you have placed in this person will be sold to the other colleagues.
starting from this point if you add that you don't like his personality and that you have things to tell him that maybe not everybody will understand I would say that it's better to keep having a working relationship and that's all.
Unless...

Unless you want to play with him and you want to see where this flirting game leads to.
You can try to see how far both of you can go, but you must keep the game under control: no telling him big secrets and never make important moves. You let him make the moves but you keep control of the situation.

I'm curious to know what will be your decision...

Answer 3

You either need to exercise some self discipline and start ignoring him, or since you obviously find him attractive, maybe you should go out and have a drink with him, and see if you still want to do more than flirt. But don't forget, you still have to work with him no matter what, so that could end up as a really awkward situation.

Answer 4

Dating co-workers is ALWAYS a strong, NO. Amber, it doesn't matter if your gay or straight, it is never a good idea to date a co-worker. He makes you feel pretty and desirable, which I'm sure you are, but if he's a jerk anyway, he doesn't deserve your attention.

Answer 5

Ok wait. What you are doing around this guy and what you are feeling are completely a heterosexual acts. Are you gay because it is en vogue? I think you need to examine yourself before you go out with anyone!!!

Answer 6

Well it's always nice to be flattered and sought after..but you run the risk here of outing yourself at work. My advice: back off.

Answer 7

you're a prick teaser, and a low down ***** too. you suck. get a life and get it on with a girl and leave the poor guy alone. he's probably married anyway. happy days!!

Answer 8

play wit him a little.everybody likes a little attention,but dont take it 2 far! have fun! hehe

Answer 9

You sound like you're teasing him since you know you do ot want him

Answer 10

I am lsbian.Sounds as if you still have some issues.And just maybe you are bi.