My mom says it is a good thing but I want Brayden to have a mom...Its just so confusing?!Brayden had his 1st doctors appt.this morning and he is a very healthy baby! Nothing is wrong with him! It felt really good to hear that....because I knew that I was part of that! I have no idea what I should be doing about the babys mom...
2006-12-11 01:18:42 · 10 answers · asked by Joey 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
oh, honey, you sound a lot calmer and i'm glad his first well baby visit went well.
as for brayden's mom....that is such sad thing.
i really hope that she is just having postpartum depression and will come to her senses later on...even if it's years later.
even still, you can't change her mind and you need to focus all of your heart and attention on that little man you're raising. he needs you and if he doesn't get to have his mom, that's o.k. b/c he has you and his grandma!
life can be tricky, but just go with it. get her to leagally sign over parental rights.
that way if she ever tries to take him from you she will have a lot to overcome.
you doing the best thing in the world for your little one. i'm sure your heart just overflows with joy every moment you look at him.
be a good dad and take care of him, that's all he needs.
take care and happy holidays to you, joey and little brayden:)
2006-12-13 06:10:28 · answer #1 · answered by joey322 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before she does anything she needs to talk to a doctor about the possibility of having post-partum depression. Just like week on the news they were saying how new mothers need to be watched, and sometimes they shouldn't be around the baby for a while.
If she won't talk to a doctor and just tries to sign over her parental rights (and if the authorities allow her to do that) there's the chance she could change her mind later if she gets out of any depression she's in.
If it isn't depression (or even psychosis, which can come with post-partum depression), and she doesn't want the baby; the baby will be better off without her.
If a baby has one care-taker who nurtures him correctly and well, he will do better than a mother who doesn't. Their brain connections/personalities are formed in the first three years or so. If a mother doesn't know what she's doing she could cause him not to form important connections and instead form "bad" ones that will always make him have one problem or another.
Chances are if she talks to an attorney and/or gets to court the authorities will want to look into whether this is depression; and she won't be able to sign over rights until some looking into things has gone on.
2006-12-11 09:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. This time I want to get this right. Your baby is with you right? I just want to tell you that I totally agree with your Mom. It is the best thing that could possibly happen. I just hope that she really goes through with it. It will make your life and ultimately your baby's life much less complicated down the road. I know it is hard to think that far ahead but believe me there will be the right woman who will love you and your precious baby the way the two of you deserve to be loved! I hope that your Mother is helping, I am sure that she loves her grandbaby and I know you are grateful for any help that she can give you. Even the moral support. Remember, she has been through this before, she is a mother and she knows what you are going through.
It takes quite a man to stand up and do what you are doing for that dear little baby. Just think how sad it would have been if neither one of his parents had wanted him? He is lucky to have a great Dad! A lot of little babies don't. And, the doctor says he is a very healthy little baby so you are doing a good job! He is going to be fine. I hope your Mom lives close enough that she can be a big part of your life. If not maybe you can relocate so that you can be near her. You are going to need the love and support that only comes from your family right now.
As far as her giving up her parental rights, make sure that she means it and for goodness sake, GET IT IN WRITING! You don't want her saying later that she did not mean it! You don't want her walking in the door two years from now after you have done all the hard work and saying "ok, I want my baby now"....WHOA! believe me, it can happen! Make sure of your legal position right now. The court will side with the biological mother every time. Get her to sign off on her legal rights NOW while she wants to do it, before she changes her mind! You do not want her to be able to just change her mind anytime she pleases and take your son from you. I have seen it happen! Make sure that your position and your sons position is rock solid. Do not leave her an opening to disrupt your life sometime later down the road. You need some legal advice. It may be the most important thing you ever do for your son.
BTW, I apologise for thinking you were a woman and telling you to breastfeed your baby! lol....that was a big mistake on my part!
Now that I have the story straight I will not be making that mistake again!
I hope you will take my advice though and protect your baby legally, it is very important! It is probably the single most important thing that you can do for him right now. You are all he has and you need to take steps to protect him! Thank goodness for your family, hold them close and be glad that Brayden has you and his grandmother, that is alot.
Love and Blessings,
2006-12-11 09:45:50 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Trinity 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok firstly, because my mother did the same to me when i Was a baby i understand how your baby will feel when they are 18 years old. One, if she doesn't want this baby, then she would not be a mother anyways. You will meet other women. Women who, although may surprise you, will not care if you have a baby. They will accept him. Find someone who will love you but most importantly who will love YOUR baby. You can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Forget about the baby momma and get him a better one. Birth doesn't make a woman a mother. Sounds like she's more of a girl. Because a real Woman wouldn't do that!
2006-12-11 09:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Fresca Jesca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just raise him the best you can. If you want him to have a mom, maybe you'll meet someone to marry you. You can't force someone to be a parent. I think what you're doing is great, and Brayden will do fine.
2006-12-11 10:15:21 · answer #5 · answered by AerynneC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is overwhelmed. Just go ahead and let her do it. She may come back later and decide that she wants to be part of the baby's life which would be great. Right now, enjoy your baby. Do not spend too much time thinking about what is going through your girlfriend's head.
2006-12-11 09:26:53 · answer #6 · answered by Nelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is you can't make someone be a parent. If you try its just going to punish the child more because the person will resent him for having to be there. The best thing you can do is let her know that if she is giving up parental rights then she can NOT just stop by once in a while to see him because it will confuse him and he won't understand why she doesn't want to see him. If she doesn't want him then he will probably have a better life without her in it. And I just want to give you a big applause for taking over and taking care of your son. Alot of men nowadays won't do that. My best answer is to just let her.
2006-12-11 09:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she gave up parental rights, then she does not want your baby. It will be better for you later on when you do find a woman to spend your life with that she won't be there to cause problems for you and your family.
2006-12-11 09:22:13 · answer #8 · answered by K-E-G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just do the best you can and get everything in order do make sure your babys mom is getting the help she needs she may have post natal depression or any numerous things ...take all the help you can get from family and friends in the meantime ..best of luck to you both
2006-12-11 09:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she will feel sorry for what she did in the long run but anyways just do the best that you can i know your mom will help you and support you
2006-12-11 09:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋