3 months ago I asked my gf for time apart. things were moving fast so, and we were getting serious. She was very upset, but I insisted and didnt see her for a month. I realized how much I love her I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me, but took me back. and are serious again. but last week I asked if she dated while we were apart - I did not. I found out she did date but she even slept with someone she knows from her gym. they had regular sex for almost weeks. she says they did it several times a day until got bored of her. she was hurt by him using her sexually so many times and dumping her, especially because I had rejected and hurt her also. Im jealous, but I know i hurt her first. we discussed the details, though it is hard. this way i let her know it is ok to talk about how she was hurt,but also about how she enjoyed the sex, which she tells me she did, and she even told me new ideas for in bed. we are back in love but how do i get rid of the jealousy?
2006-12-10 23:56:51 · 9 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You have to realize that a break is just that.
You are jealous becuase you cared for her but wanted to cool the jets for a bit, but she went out with someone else fairly quickly.
You feel, emotionally, she is "damaged goods".
Well, people are not possessions. And as long as she doesn;t do that again, you let the jealousy go. What she did tehn is a dead issue. It now means nothing
2006-12-11 00:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Not wanting to sound like Ross from friends but...(you) "were on a break!"
You can't have things both ways, i.e have some time apart but expect the other person just to hold out indefinitely for you. What if you had decided not to give things another try? Would you have expected your GF to have still been sitting at home just on the off chance that some day you might get back together?!
What's done is done, there is no changing it, no rewinding time and no doing things differently. Yes, your GF may have been a bit quick to jump "bed first" into a new relationship but, for all she knew, you weren't coming back.
Stop torturing yourself with the details of your GF's sexual liaisons with this other guy, it serves no purpose other than putting unwanted strain on your relationship. There is no reason for jealousy, if you are concerned that she may go on to cheat on you then it doesn't matter whether you feel jealous or not - if it is something she wants to do she'll do it, regardless of how you feel - so let it go!
Rejoice in the fact that you are now back together, both (presumably) having learned some valuable life lessons - including "the grass isn't always greener" and that "you don't know what you've got til it's gone".
You both made your mistakes, now is the time to move on and look forward to a fresher, better, more positive relationship.
Enjoy!
2006-12-11 00:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by Witchywoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is a normal human reaction. It's almost uncontrollable. All you can do is try to get past it. If you really are in love again, congratulations and forget about the other guy. As long as she's not cheating, right?
2006-12-11 00:05:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't,.. it will take time,.. and if your togethor its going to be staring you in the face.... This is one of those live and learn things bud...
Breaks almost never work,... all bets are off during them,.. and neither party really wants to think about what may or may not have happened during them
either you can let it go this minute,.. or your in no position to continue this relationship,... its the truth
2006-12-11 00:05:41 · answer #4 · answered by Khepri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never discuss the details! I don't even think there is a way to recover from that. It would be a lot of work on your part.
2006-12-11 00:04:59 · answer #5 · answered by Kacky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wasn't doing it to hurt you. You left her behind, and she tried to get on with life.....it's pretty normal. I think you are torturing yourself by trying to get all the details, and it is pointless. Jealousy is useless, it won't change anything and it won't help you move ahead. She is with you now, that is what you should focus on. Give it time, and stop dwelling on the details, you will lose your mind.
2006-12-11 00:04:29 · answer #6 · answered by ruthie a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy will wear off.actully,thers notin 2 be jelous of.u shud pity this guy.man,i don think people shud be like dat.
so be wise an shake off ur jelosy bcause if u an she are both happy,ther is a visible sign of contentment.an im sur shes happy wid u
2006-12-11 00:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER, NEVER ask for details of the sex!! She couldn't wait a month!! I say break up with her and move on. Sounds hard to do but it's worth it.
2006-12-11 02:40:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋