I have a husband you doesn almost nothing all day ?

Question

All he does is watch tv and play video games when hes not working, The only time he helps me with the kids is when he is yelling at them. He swears that he loves us but has become someone i dont even know. And to tell you the truth i cant stand him any more. I cook , clean, work a full time job and still find time to play with my kids. He is lazy , and angry all the time. I am sure he suffers from some type of mental illness because he has way to many mood swings. My kids still love him so much and he refused help what should i do?

Answer 1

You sound like my wife ....
I thought you just went to bed -stop asking questions about me on Answers ! I will get around to mowing the lawn - stop nagging ..

lol

Answer 2

If he loved you all as much as he says he does he would also help you with the children, not just be there to yell at them. I can certainly understand why you would be frustrated with him. You work and keep a house. If he had just wanted a cleaner, maid and child bearer, he should never have gotten married. Marriage is supposed to be a caring and sharing relationship. You say he has a lot of mood swings, are you sure he is not on any kind of drugs ?? As that quite often will cause these sorts of problems. If that is not the reason he could possibly have some kind of brain disorder. Then again maybe he has just turned into some kind of grumpy old fart !! Try speaking to him again about your concerns and if he still refuses to seek any kind of help, perhaps you should consider a break from him to clear your head and decide what you really want to do. Tell him you need a life also and see how things go from there. Good luck with it all.

Answer 3

This sounds like something from Nanny 911. I would lock up the video game console, and cancel the cable. Until your husband started helping you out. What you need to do is to sit down and really talk about this. Not just complaining that you need help while he is on the couch. After the children are in bed. Sit down with your husband, and ask questions like, How work is going, Is there a problem with another employee, etc., If you and he thinks that there maybe an issue with his mental health, then talk about going to a doctor. Depression can hurt all sorts of relationships, and medication can make huge differences in people. My main answer to you is to TALK. And don't let down until you get some real answers to why he is doing what he is doing. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

You don't mention age but, I'm guessing about mid thirties, right. Have you thought about "manic depressive"? You say "when he's working" meaning? he's laid off, fired or doesn't have a permanent job? maybe this is part of his problem, manic depressives have problems holding jobs, then as they slide down that pole toward the bottom, they get worse. I'll guarantee if he hasn't stopped washing and other hygiene, he will, eventually.

He will eat when he feels like it, wash and clean up when he feels like it, if he does. He's like an alcoholic on a dry drunk.
What he needs is help now, before it get so bad you cannot reach him. I read where a mental depressive once starts downhill, after two years they cannot be pulled back up, that's where the skid row drunks come from Hon. Do you think they graduate from some school to go there, they come from your living room sofa to skid row so, your choice is to do something now or, pay for it later, get some help for him now.

Answer 5

He could be suffering from Bipolar Disorder.

As to forcing him to get help, that may be impossible. If you live in Canada, the rules for involuntary confinement are tricky. They mostly apply if your husband is a danger to himself or others. I suggest calling your local hospital for details on a forced overnight diagnosis, if at all possible. That usually requires a court order and a signed document from your psychiatrist or doctor. I also suggest calling and making an appointment with a counselor and/or psychiatrist for advice on how to deal with this situation in the best way possible. Marriage counselors are also an option that perhaps your husband would agree to. That is one step closer to treatment.

Other suggestions:
Family intervention - Have his family and/or friends intervene.
Arrange for counseling sessions as a family, don't single him out, he may be more willing this way.
Let him understand how serious this matter his, if he does not know already.

I am sorry I cannot be of more help, as this is quite a tricky situation.

Answer 6

First of all, get rid of the video game unit. I won't allow any of these video game units in mu house because I am worried I will get addicted and not pay attention to my family. Your husband needs counselling and if he's not willing to go you may need to either move on or find another way to get emotional support.

Answer 7

Insist on taking him to a doctor. Contact his relatives (his brothers or father) and ask them to convince your husband to see a doctor. I've experienced similar situations the only way is seeing a good doctor. Don't blame your husband because of his illness (if he has an illness) I believe he doesn't want to make you sorry.

Answer 8

Get him medically checked out. If he's healthy divorce him keep the kids and give him visitation rights.

Answer 9

sounds like you need to tell him...either you make some changes, or you have to go. He'll straighten up quick I bet. You cant stay in a situation when your not happy

Answer 10

Sounds like depression or something else. Take him to a doctor. If not, he sounds like my 18 year old step son.