last year i moved away to college to a new city where i could start over and be happy, where i didnt know anyone and could redefine who i am. since then i have been through 4 guys who i cared so much about and have gotten hurt so bad. i dont understand how guys or anyone can blatantly hurt someone so badly. now school has become so difficult, it is taking a toll on me and all i want is someone to go home to. and it is now that i realize how alone i am. there is not one person i feel close to here no matter how many friends i have. i just cant deal with this anymore by myself, i just want someone to love me, why dont they care? why cant i just do this by myself? i cant do this by myself anymore.... what do i do?
2006-12-10 19:43:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
i dont need a guy to get by, i can fend for myself, but who doesnt want someone there for support, to talk to and be comforted by as i'm going through a rough time
i devote my everything to school, its wearing me out, but at the end of the day i have nothing it seems. without anyone here for me, i have no one to keep me going, to encourage and praise me, theres no reward at the end of the day, obviously my education is for me long term, but right now i have no reason to try so hard, im lonely. and without anyone to share my experiences with i have nothing to compare them too, so i feel alone in how hard im working, i want someone who understands, someone to support me and someone for me to support, a BEST friend not necessarily a boyfriend and certainly not a life mate. i just want to know that someone understands and is there and hopefully loves me, thats what gives life meaning. a good job is useful, but w/o friendship and love, whats it all for?
2006-12-10 23:06:22 · update #1
and when i find someone to share with, to care for, etc. in these hard times, i tell them my insecurities and problems and i 'devote' myself to them and i am cheated on or just not good enough it makes all of my other problems that much worse. a breakup is hard enough let alone having to deal with school, i dunno....
2006-12-10 23:11:32 · update #2
You need to be a happy person yourself. 4 guys that you were serious with in 1 years time? You should be spending your time on your studies, working and learning about yourself and how to like yourself. It seems as though you depend on others to make you happy. You need to do that for yourself.
2006-12-10 22:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by mahmieo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you can rest assured that you are not alone. Being in a city all alone, without your family and friends is a lonely experience as well as a liberating one. Accepting it as natural is step one in feeling better.
Second, guys in college isn't your answer in feeling whole. You have left your family behind with the hope that you will be free of their negative effects, but this also means that you have left behind the feeling of family, good or bad. You are preparing to start your own life and family. College is a place where you experience, get to know other people and decide (unconsciously) what kind of person works for you. If you haven't got close friends yet, it is natural that you feel alone. Just stand up and join a club, a sports activity, etc.that you like. You will meet new people, fill your spare time and you will feel a sense of accomplishment. You'll need the positive energy to get going. We all do.
And last, never, ever marry a college boyfriend. People in school donot know themselves enough, let alone their partners. If you think you have found "the" one, just wait until you both finish school and start working.
Enough spurting wisdom. Good luck.
2006-12-10 19:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Totally Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby!! Listen!!! You are letting others rule your feelings. You are so desperate for love, that you are sending signals out to the idiots that will take advantage of you!!! This is what you will attract when you are too needy!!! STOP! Forget about "finding him"...Concentrate on YOU!!! Build your confidence. Become a woman YOU are proud of!! {you should be proud already!!} Attitude is everything!! THEY...would be lucky to have you!! YOU are the one to pick and choose!!! An independent, strong, self-confidant woman, is a HUGE turn-on for any man. Not to mention, how great it feels to actually BE this kind of woman!!! Desperation attracts morons that will use you baby. Confidence attracts EVERYONE!!! Then...YOU choose who you want to be with. Try it. If you don't feel it yet....Fake it until you do. It's that easy!!! Honest!!!
2006-12-10 19:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, you are not alone as you feel. Your thoughts and feelings are always with you.
We are Happy Being. See word itself. Its present continuous and you need to live in present, not in past. Do not regret over past. Make your present, a happy moment.
Let go away your thoughts, feelings, expectation and dreams.
(MIND THIS. IF THEY GO AWAY YOU WILL BE HAPPY)
Your thoughts, feelings, expectations and dreams about relationship, love are troubling you. Just be aware of them and yet don't control them. You will feel the difference. Be master of your thoughts, feelings, expectations and dreams.
Tell me if you don't think "Silence and aloneness are happiness."
2006-12-10 20:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take some time out for yourself and leave the losers alone.buy a pet., you need some you time. take your self out buy yourself some flowers. tell yourself how great u are. focus on school-it looks like u are looking for love in all the wrong places.
2006-12-10 20:01:41 · answer #5 · answered by yellabanana77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stop relying on others so much for your happiness. iknow its hard sometimes. you might consider counseling to get help dealing with you low self esteem. you might even need medication to correct any chemical imbalance you might have. you sound depressed. dont give up and don't be in a hurry to get involved with another man yet. you need to learn to love yourself more .
2006-12-10 19:49:10 · answer #6 · answered by katlady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to figure out why you feel you "need" someone so badly. If friends aren't fulfilling this need, then try applying yourself to your studies.
2006-12-10 19:50:32 · answer #7 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you care so much...study, study, isn't that what your suposed to be doing...it's college...guys are not trying to get married....hang out....stop getting so attached....don't you see...they are there to have fun...you are so whinny, no one wants to hang out...stop carring so dam much..let loose...have fun....in just one year....how could you have cared sooooo muuuuuuch for FOUR guys...those were a fewnighters...move on...find somemore
2006-12-10 21:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for cryin out loud PRAY...then watch for God to open the doors
2006-12-10 19:47:02 · answer #9 · answered by Olive 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋