Have you been in a situation where you become the 'culprit' for lending a helping hand to a desperate person. Somehow, this person associates you with their problem and ends up blaming you for it..... and this leaves me hopelessly thinking...... not worth helping another....
I wonder if anyone else has faced such a situation.
2006-12-10 19:12:16 · 11 answers · asked by catcher 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sadly many times in my life. I have always tried to help anyone in some need or other and have observed that few are grateful and indeed some shift the blame on you particularly if the help has not been the sort that they expected. I worked my socks off to create a friendly and effective department for several years, carrying people who did not pull their weight and took advantage, yet some members of staff were totally ungrateful and when something went pear shape on their patch they tried to shift the blame on me.
You have to forget this, put it behind you, become a little more streetwise, but if you think you are doing the right thing or you feel good helping people then carry on doing it. For each ungrateful person there are five that will appreciate what you are doing for them and you have the personal satisfaction to know that you have done or said something useful and helpful.
However you must not get to the point where you are too willing to go beyond the line of duty and you must learn to say "no" on occasion, if only for self preservation.
2006-12-10 20:09:58 · answer #1 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I feel I'm going to need some help from the person, I will be glad to help out even though there might be a chance that things will turn out bad. As long as I can cover the cost or trouble and feel I would receive more benefit in the future, I will do it. I'm a bit selfish, but I think people who ask me for a favor are the worse. At least, I don't ask people for help unless I helped that person in the past. Still, even then, I don't even expect to get any help. This became my attitude after I actually helped out a person with some money for his financial troubles. I couldn't get the money back and the worse thing was he blamed me for lending him that money because supposedly I should have known better. What a fucked up situation that was.
2006-12-11 03:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by wat~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try working in the Social Services or the Medical Profession. It happens every day to these people. The trouble is, that some individuals think the world owes them something and instead of being purely thankful for any help they can get, they take it out on you because they think you should be able to help them MORE.
These sort of people are usually the ones that are in their "desperate situation" partly (if not wholly) because of their own doing. And they lash out at you because if they admitted that they were in some way to blame for their own predicament, then they would have to do something about it!
2006-12-11 03:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't, but I say ignore them. They have a lot of problems that they are probably the cause of. That person just wants someone to blame because they are too proud to admit they can make a mistake. You, a person who tries to be helpful, end up an easy target because you are kind. Not every one is like that, you help who you can, and ignore the idiocy.
2006-12-11 03:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fairly common experince. In the education of helping professionals we learn about Transferance and how to deal with it.
Often people take on one of two roles during helping: either you represent all of the good interactions in their life, or all of the bad.
Sometimes it also depends on if you offer advice. Advice giving can often lead to blame and the avoidance of personal responsibility.
I know it can be frustrating but I hope you don't give up on helping other people.
2006-12-11 05:19:31 · answer #5 · answered by ms_nastasya_filippovna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah ... happened earlier ... someone ..(obviously a very jealous and judgemental person) accused someone of giving me best answrs all the time ...
This person even went as far as to accuse that person and me of being one and the same ... wow ... lol.. that is ludicrous
If anyone looks at my questions .. they would know this is not true ..
The fact that this person even had the time to check out all of another persons best answers is itself quite disturbing ..
actually ..its quite stalker-like.
..But then again .. it probably served its purpose as this person got the attention they probably craved .... jealous people usually require a lot of attention.
Well anyway ... I just had to get that off my chest ... what was your question again..? ..
Dr Bad
Too much man ... to ever be a woman
2006-12-11 16:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times yes. I never have anyone to turn to in my times of need so I usually end up being there for others...9 times out of 10, I figure I should have kept my distance & not gotten involved as it always seems to come back on me.
2006-12-11 03:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Cori 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I stopped to help a guy on the side of the road who had a flat tire and after I let him use my cell phone he attacked me and tried to rape me but I got away. I will never do that again.
2006-12-11 03:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. Ungrateful wahtyoucallits.
Sometimes karma seems unjust. But I guess there are things that you don't get to see.
2006-12-11 05:16:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...only this morning someone accused me of having two profiles and awarding myself best answer...when i was only giving the best answerer the best answer...why dont you check out my question you answered and see the message i left you...that would kind of answer this question for you too...;0)
2006-12-11 13:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋