i am about to get married to a muslim man..his dad dose not want us to marry.i love him very much but i am worried if he dose marry me what will his dad think..should we marry anyways?
2006-12-10 19:03:41 · 14 answers · asked by dealitha k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This religion is very powerful. Your fiance is breaking with not only his family traditions but those that have been around for thousands of years. Are you going to convert? How will you raise your children? Look beyond the romance and the excitement of getting married. Take a look at the future!
2006-12-10 19:07:27 · answer #1 · answered by Mandi_Moo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe you should think long and hard before marrying. You will be required to act like a muslim wife whether you convert or not. Its a restricted life for one who is used to the freedom of western ways. Around his family you will be expected to have certain duties and not so many opinions perhaps, even if they live outside their home country. Once married, he changes a little, too. He doesnt spend too much time with you as he did before because he will spend more time with the 'men'. You will see more of his family than him. And he will expect a lot more from the 'wife' concerning housekeeping, cooking, budgeting, etc. Dating and going out to eat and other places suddenly become fewer and fewer. I know all about this, I was married to a muslim. So think again that you are going into a totally different culture when you marry. I bet you this is why the father-in-law is upset. Having a foreign non-muslim daughter-in-law ignorant of their customs and religion is simply asking for trouble and the young man is not thinking either.
2006-12-11 03:14:17 · answer #2 · answered by miladybc 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations, firstly on your marriage. If you had not said "muslim", I'll bet some answers would be different.. unfortunately!
You know, love has a way of overcoming all obstacles. Yes, you need to consider how you will raise the children, and there are international support groups for Christian/ muslim marriages.. google them, and join one.
Expect the family to be upset. If you ask the family's permission you may even not get it, but at the end of the day, it does depend on how close he is to his family and his community, and how far you are prepared to go to make things work. There's no reason it cannot work - you may even wish to look into Islam, outside of people misconceptions and all the media hype. (And no, I don't give a rat's A*ss what others may say to me about that, so don't bother!) Love can and often does conquer all, but make sure you have some allies to turn to when things start to go pear shaped - people to give you advice, people to talk to, members of his family that you can actually turn to, as well as yours. There are many, many implications in terms of learning about Islam; food, routine, prayers, child rearing, women's roles, etc.. and it is a sharp learning curve, but there are many successful marriages to prove it's not hopeless. And above all, there is him, and there is you, and there is hope.
Good luck, and mail me if you want the address for one of the support groups. Some of the sites are NOT support groups and will only bring you DOWN!... Best wishes to you both!
2006-12-11 03:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! First of all: Do not let people bring you down with stupid racist and cultural stereotypes. This comes from a woman who had a happy longterm relationship with a Muslim man.
Do not put too much emphasis on the situation with the father in law. Such a response can hit you in EVERY religion and in every relationship. A Christian or Jewish father in law might not be happy with his son's choice. What you should look at is how your future husband takes it all. Is he supporting you or is he trying to please everybody in his family? How much do his parents oppions matter to him when it comes to his personal life? Would he - if the situation gets worse - still support you? How do you feel about his religion? Does he want you to convert? Do you think about converting? The most important relationship is the one to your future husband and it has to stand on solid feet. All the very best.
2006-12-11 03:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by Sinka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't do it. you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. you will lots of abuse to face in your future. especially so if you are not accepted into the family at this point. you say his dad doesn't want you to marry---that right there is enough to cause misery throughout your entire marriage.
2006-12-11 04:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have to convert yourself first to being a muslim, its their rule, they dont marry anyone from other religion unless they decided to convert themselves. im sure his dad will be upset because despite his open comment of not approving the marriage plan, still will go with it...its up to you to win his heart too so that there will be no inlaw family problems in the future
2006-12-11 03:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by sheikaella 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If I were you,I won't continue this relationship because it will not
work out right.Believe me,you will be drinking your own tears
later on.Cut it off and find someone that you will be happy the
rest of your natural life.
2006-12-11 03:11:13 · answer #7 · answered by ROMEO M B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that is better for you to answer your love and marry him,forget about his father,cause u wanna live with your husband not his dad
2006-12-11 03:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by lili h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His dad will except it when he sees how happy his son is ..and if he does not change after than tell the dad to piss off
2006-12-11 03:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not a good idea unless you want to be treated as a second class person.
2006-12-11 03:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by Vinegar Taster 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋