Why is that things only come to you when your not looking for them, and how do you stop trying to find them?

Question

Eg love, attention, friendship etc

Answer 1

Your mind goes into a complete block when you are "looking." Hence when you are looking for a boyfriend, you don't find him because you are too infused in looking that you forget WHY and WHAT, like qualities, you are searching for. So you end up dating a total loser and then wonder why you can't just find love. One starts questioning if there is something wrong with ourselves and pretty much putting ourselves down. That gives the look of desperation and let me tell you no one wants a desperate person because they tend to be clingy and to some degree, needy. So instead of "looking" for love, attention, friendship, etc.(which in reality all you are really searching for, if that's what you are searching for, is affection.) learn how to love yourself and become involved in other things other than "looking" so hard. Love comes to us when we least expect it, why? Because love comes in to make a change in our lives but if we are actually expecting it, the impact isn't as great. Thus taking away some of the great things that come to us when we fall in love.

Answer 2

Life has a habit of distracting when you are worried about something. You move on to the next thing and right before your eyes it is resolved. We tend to really get caught up in things we try to control. When we take a break it works out. Most feel mundane that it does not matter because the result is the same...meaning what ever effort you put will be fixed by the next person. This creates a great deal of ciaos and tends to bring people down because they want to feel that when they put effort into something they take ownership and give the idea value. We also see a lot clearer when we walk away and do not continue to get caught up into an issue. Everyone reacts differently on the bases of Love , work, friendship, acquaintances and so on. You possess the key to survival but have a giving nature this creates this environment. remember try not to take things too seriously and you will see more things in motion then you would expect. Sometimes very little needs to be done to get an action to resolve by simply polite direction....

Answer 3

How do you mean this?
Are you like a spouse that keeps getting love attention and friendship offered from others? I mean like is your spouse a victim of other people's love attention and friendship toward you? If so, you stop trying to find them by giving your spouse your honest attention.
Are you lonely and looking for these things and want to stop trying to find them so they will come to you? I think that these things do come when we are not paying attention to what they are. We pass them up. We try to find them just about only when we need them. If you tried to stop trying to find them for the sake of finding them, you'd have a paradox. A happy person is very attractive. Happiness comes from within, not from without. Get to know YOU; be happy with YOU. Feel free to give love, attention and friendship to the most unlikely people and you will probably find some growth within that will make you both likable and loved.

Answer 4

That's a very good question. I have basically gotten used to the fact that the more confident you look and act like you're not in need of anyone or anything, that's when people come to you. Take for example guys and girls; Which one would you rather prefer, a guy that makes it obvious from the beginning that he's very attracted to you or a guy that will play around, be sarcastic, and flirt around with you while giving you short intervals in between of your contacts? I know that women don't like desperate men and in retrospect, men don't like girls who are too easy and would rather go after a girls that is teasing them and giving them a small piece of hope while letting him closer, bit by bit. In short, even if you are in need of company, when you act confident and all cool, that's what seems to attract other people. Not that you're being yourself by doing that, you may not be. But it definitely creates an interest in others that see you, especially if they feel like getting to know a person like you could have an advantage to them, such as learning from your strength or enjoying your sense of humor(which is also very important). Hope this helps!

Answer 5

I agree, that seems to happen a lot. Maybe it's a 'journey' thing. In the past, I've tried to force outcomes or hide from change, but often, the very things I've been seeking come to me (in very unexpected ways) when I've chosen the harder path, faced fear, and surrendered the need for control. Don't you just love that 'good flow' feeling, when all the lights are green, people really understand you, and there are amazing coincidences and joyful experiences? And then you try and force/create the good flow, and it slips away again. Sigh.

Answer 6

Because sometimes you do not know when is the best time you need them the most. Everything comes best if you need them. When what you want does not come to you at the time you want them, maybe its because you should be grateful for what you already have, cherish for everything that you own. How to stop trying to find them? Be thankful for everything you have and you do not have.

Answer 7

because sometimes it's nice to let fate take you there....you don't look for luck...luck finds you.....hey humans are not perfect so we're willing to give up once we fail...but no matter how hard we try to forget...it'll just come back...because as human beings we are insatiable...meaning we can't be content with what we have so we'll keep looking for something that will make us content...that's what we call the passion of desire