married couples, men AND women?

Question

i've been with my boyfriend for over 5 years. the thing is... in the beginning, it was very exciting, passionate, obsessively in love. then the loved evovled to more of a comfort around each other, and we became best friends. we still love each other dearly, but I dont get tingles anymore when we touch and I anticipate with schoolgirl giggles when the next time i'll talk to him will be.

is this what marriage is like? does the obsessive passion fade into a comfortable love? or when you find *the one*, is it supposed to be sparks for 50 years? also, if you could include how long youve been married...thanks!

Answer 1

Yes this is pretty much marriage. You have to work to keep the spark there. I have been married 23 years now and we do things for each other that keeps the flame burning, but yes comfortable love is a really good thing. Just don't let it turn in apathy in the process. You can be comfortable and still have the flame going.

Answer 2

Yes that sounds like marriage. The goose bumps and butterflies fade and real life enters. It is good that you are best friends, However, in a marriage commitment or relationship the couple should always work on keeping the romance alive. When you just live with someone, it is so easy to just walk away and call it aday, after all there was no commitment. Marriage involves a public announcement and vow that you will love eachother through thick and thin whether feelings are there or not. Marriage is true commitment, not just a piece of paper. So I don't feel like you can compare your situation to marriage unless you actually get married. You will see how that public announcement makes a big difference in how you see eachother. I have been happily married for 9 years, we have a son in a wheelchair together, so we know what having problems is about. Feelings aren't always there but that is where true commitment and vows we made 9 years ago step in.

Answer 3

I have been married for 13 years but currently separated from my husband. I initiated the separation because of our love. I love him, but I am no longer in love with him. He was lazy, wanted me to take care of him, never had any involvement with our children, and so on. Yes, at first we couldn't keep our hands off each other, but it slowly faded to the point of where I didn't want to look at him when I woke up. We are really good friends, but a terrible married couple. It all depends on you. You could always find something that might spark your relationship back up and see if that helps. Is there something you both wanted to try but never did? Anything is worth a shot to see if it helps out. And remember, not every marriage is like this. There are many marriages that last forever, they have a love that nothing can defeat, so don't give up just yet on your relationship.

Answer 4

Sparks come and go for me. Sometimes it's comfort and sometimes I've got a crush on him, hell, sometimes I don't even like him very much and other times he annoys the crap out of me, but I always love him. I don't think true love is much of a feeling though, it's more like a state of being and sometimes a concious choice, you know? It never really was like a school girl crush in the beginning though. I actually was attracted to my lover because I was so comfortable with him. We're not married yet, we've been living together for about 2 years and it's basically the same thing as being married for us. We're living miles and miles away from home right now, so that's why we're not legally married. He moved in oh, a couple weeks after we started calling eachother boyfriend and girlfriend so, we've only been together for about 2 years.

Answer 5

We've been together 20+ years and he still makes me tingle and from what I'm told when I speak about him I still have that new love glow and my eyes sparkle. We still have sparks and feel like we don't make love enough even if it is everyday. I can't wait for him to come home from work everyday and he can't wait to get here. I still call him at work at least once a day to tell him how much I miss and love him. But we are very comfortable and that's a good thing as far as we're concerned. Just because you don't have these same feelings doesn't mean you aren't in love any longer though I'm sure. Everyone is different.

Answer 6

marriage is everything you've mentioned. it's exciting and passionate, being obsessively in love, and being able to be comfortable with and around each other, and it's dearly loving each other, being best friends, getting the giggles, tingles, and anticipating him calling you, and much more. marriage is a wonderful and complicated thing. it's just everything you've mentioned all rolled up into one. it's kind of hard to explain. I've been married to my husband for twenty-two years, we were married when I was seventeen and he was nineteen and I've never had even one regret in those twenty-two years. we're still crazy about each other. we have "date night" every friday night, and we still hold hands in public, and he still kisses me when the lights go out at the movies, I call him on his cell phone just to say "I love you," we still flirt with each other, we tease each other, and make one another laugh, he goes to victoria's secret with me, and I play games on his play station with him, when he wanted to put in a new chain-link fence around our whole yard, I worked with him, and we did it together. I could go on and on, but it would take forever to tell you everything! I just know that when we met, it was love at first sight, and that obsessive passion never goes away, but you do develop a comfortable love that goes along with it. sometimes we just have a weekend get away, and we have just as much fun together now as we did when we first got married. you just know when you meet the person who's right for you.
I hope this helps you, and best wishes with everything.
if you have more questions, just ask!

Answer 7

You aren't going to ever get that "just started dating" feeling ever again. That's just the way it is. Be glad that you did have it, and remember what it felt like.

I'm married to the love of my life. When we first started dating I was exactly like you, excited, eager, anxious to see HIM! He would touch me and I'd just melt. Our sex life was over the top, and wild. Thinking about all that, just makes me smile, because at least I can still remember the feeling.

Now our relationship is still fun, and giggles, but it's not the way it was at the begining. And I'm thankful for that. I love being able to be best friends with him and being able to be comfortable around him. And yes, we still have sparks, but they're random, and I love it!!

Answer 8

You get what you put into. You have passed the lust stages...now your love is growing stronger emotionally. Which is great. Because as you get older, your body gets tired. Doesnt mean you have to give up the romance. Make the effort to understand each others needs and learn to respect each other and always be honest with each other, even if it kills ya. At least you wont lie to your heart. I've been with my husband for 10 years. Our sex life is once a month, but our love for each other is soooo deep, its enough of a turn on.There's rough times, and difficult to get through, but your love comes out A LOT Stronger!

Its beautiful!

Answer 9

26 yrs
yes it does become a comfotrtable love,but it can also be as good and exciting as it was in the begining,sometimes it takes a little work,surprising eachother,making a little comment,you learn to know what you each like in the physical side of your relationship as well,there might
even be surprises there too!of course you will have hard times too,but working through them together can only make the relationship stronger.the most important thing is never stop laughing and have FUN together!you will get
tingles and they will surprise you!

Answer 10

sparks shouldn't die out fully. They will fade in intensity and frequency though. I've been married for 27 years and there is always a spark. Keep in mind, it has to be worked on. When I call, or come home or see my wife in the hall, she always says "hi sexy" even though I'm 44, look 44 and am definitely not sexy.