hi! i am a mother based here in the Philippines. my ex husband with whom i have 2 kids age 15 and 14) is there in the states. Last august our children saw their father for the first time after 13 years. Now, my ex husband wants to petition our 2 kids. i asked the kids if they want to go stay with their father and they said yes but not together with his new wife (the new wife is kind of a biatch). life here in the philippines is hard and so economic wise i want them to go there for a better futture. my only dilema is that the new wife my treat my kids bad.
2006-12-10 18:11:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your kids are teenagers. you've done your share of 13 yrs taking care, nurturing your kids. give yourself a pat on the shoulder. you are a good mother who always put your kids future up front of yourself. Give it a go. However, if the kids are keen, let them be. Their step mother is an unvoidable factor. They have to face her anyway. She is not a big worry. A big question here is whether your husband would be responsible enough to care for the children as much as you care for them. He "abandoned" them once and may want to pay back his mistakes. Just how sure is his intention? He's gone and only back 13 years later. Aint that shows? You might want the best, but, is that what the kids would get? The best "gift" for budding teenagers are a caring and warmth parent who is there for them thru their transitional stage of life. Money, otherwise, could spoil them.
2006-12-10 18:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by chasing rainbow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-23 04:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a real problem here. But there are many details left out of your inquiry. You don't mention why your ex didn't see his children for 13 years, how long you will be in the Philippines, if your ex has paid child support, etc. First of all, you can't expect your ex to get rid of the new wife and you can't trust her with your children so for now at least, sending your children to their dad is not an option. Perhaps they can spend some time getting to know each other better, Dad, step mom and kids, via emails, instant messaging, phone calls, etc., until everyone involved feels more comfortable about the idea. Step mom might not be all bad and allowing the kids to get to know her better before moving into her home will make it easier for all of you. Allowing the kids to stay home with you and go to the states when they turn 18 may be a reasonable solution as well. Perhaps you can spend some time with a family counselor to help give you some clarity on the situation before you make such a big decision. Good luck.
2006-12-10 19:00:05 · answer #3 · answered by hairdvs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They dont know either their father nor their step mom. Doesnt sound like people to hand your children and their future over to.
You might try to have them keep regular/often chats with both of them for the next year and see how that goes. If all is well, then you might reconsider sending them. Children are better off where they are loved than sent to a hostile environment even if there are 'opportunities'. Peace.
2006-12-10 18:17:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl i know its your kids future and stuff like that but girl i would never do that especially if the kids dont even like her. I would not even be able to sleep at night just wondering what that bitach is doing to my kids how she is treating them probably like shi*t lots of skanks out there are like that his wife dont give a shi*tabout your kids.What actually makes you think that she cares about them?
2006-12-10 18:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by ME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he pay child support? And maybe she is the one who is pushing him into wanting them now so that he doesn't have to pay. She just might end up being one big biatch too. I would wait, your not going to be there forever.
2006-12-10 18:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Fruit Cake Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep them with you until it's time for them to go to college. He can help pay for their education. If they are in college they can live in dorms so that way they don't have to deal with the new wife until the breaks.
2006-12-10 18:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by kiki87 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you better get a lawyer. you give birth how can you give them up.. $ or not how can you. can you move to USA?I think a court investigation thought before you do give them up should be advised. see if they meet criteria to raise these strangers to these kids. that's what they are after all these yrs. strangers. a social worker should investigate them. I think its noble to want to give them more of a life but.. investigate thru the court appointed social worker to see if they are OK.
2006-12-10 18:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by gypsygirl731 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is there any way that you can go to the states too?
I know you want your kids to have a better life, but if they dont trust the wife they could go throught much worse.
Trust your motherly instincts, if you feel unsafe about it then dont do it.
2006-12-10 18:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to the mother and ask her why she does that. the husband should definitely dump her if she treats his kids terribly. talk to the husband before the mother actually so then the husband can talk to the wife.
2006-12-10 18:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋