my husband is a drug addict?

Question

my husband is a drug addict. we have been together for 7 years. everything was ok until he met this guy that influenced him to take drugs. he's been in and out of rehab but after a week he'll be back with his old routine...as in he will spend his whole pay check treating his addict friends. should i give up on this guy? i don't want to have another failed marriage. and i do not want are children to be seeing his situation.

Answer 1

I know a lot of addicts, but I don't know any who have kicked the habit, I know they can stop, and I have heard of people stopping, it's just that I don't know them. I cannot trust an addict, they need help and I do not know how to help them. I feel your pain, but I don't know how to help. Sorry!

Answer 2

GIVE UP AND GET OUT!
First of all no one can force your husband to do anything. He has obviously made the choice to start and continue to "use". Question?... Whos choice was it for him to go/leave rehab? If he went on his own....Good for him, If he left on his own.....Bad for you. You say that you have children? It cant be affecting them in a possitive way,if hes always high, tired, non-participating. What about you? Do you have any down time? I dont know how old your kids are but you need support. I know, Ive been there. Please, "BE SELFISH, PUT YOU AND THE KIDS FIRST"! He is an adult. He can and will make his own choices. When they start to affect you and the kids, GET OUT. Its hard with kids but it will only make things worse down the line for all of you! Do the right thing! If by chance he is willing to back and stay in rehab and a "recovery house" and you want to try to work it out..... I wish you the best of luck and hope for the childrens sake that he sobers up or you guys get out!

Answer 3

I honestly don't think this man is ready to change. As of now he is a loss cause and you and your children will be far better off without him in your lives until he can get clean and get his life together. Simply staying for the kids or because you don't want another divorce isn't going to make things better. He needs real help, Check into some rehab centers that wont allow him to check out until he is fully sober and off drugs and one that has a good therapy program. I wish you luck.

Answer 4

Honey have been there done that with my x-husband he totally perceived him self to be the nice church guy but at home Waco!because of drugs
Tell him he either goes to therapy with you doesn't hang with his old friends. Does he want a wife or drugs.? I would even go so far to change my home number and his cell number Tell him you have to change. I would say to his friends when they come to the door You are no longer welcome here.
If he refuses to do so its over why have your kids put though this? I would already be taking money out of the account to protect your kids.Before ever being brought up.
If you had or have had children with this man they can be effected by the drugs he took .The drugs effect the children's mental and physical ability I would not put children though this if he continued.

Hate to say this it is unlikely he will change. Unless he really wants too and cuts his ties with the druggies.
Hugs and prayers honey
Diane

Answer 5

It is a common truth among addicts that have completed a successful recovery that one is ready to quit once they have hit their "bottom." This can be described as the place in time where they have been the most humbled by the circumstances resulting from their affair with their drug/chemical of choice. The pattern of relapse signifies to me that he has not yet hit his bottom and probably will not until his life is exposed to more humility/self-destruction. On another side of all this is your family's welfare. Living with an addict can create many stressors around the home and can very much likely have an emotional impact on other members of the household. An addict's life slowly becomes unmanageable as the the drug becomes more controlling of the addict's life. The responsibility of caring for himself and his family become of less priority. This can jeapordize the physical security and stability of your family. Your spouse means to quit, but it's easy for him to go back during his most vulnerable moments. Within the recovering community a sponsor is used for the addict who is attempting to quit. The sponsor can help with discouraging the addict during the toughest moments. They can provide feedback and moral support to the addict by visiting with them at a treatment fascility. As I said before though, the addict's true desire to cease the lifestyle must be based on the current state of the addict's life. This accompanied with an effective sponsor and family support group would most likely yield a successful recovery. Three basic principals that contribute to a healthy recovery are dissolving relationships with old friends, not visiting familiar locations such as the places he would go to get high, purchase drugs and mingle with other drug users. The last principle is giving up any tangible articles (drug paraphernalia ). Before he can be honest with you he must be honest with himself. If he cannot admit that he has a problem and that it has ruled over his life to the point where it has become unmanageable, chances are he is not ready to commit to a recovery program wether he admits himself for treatment or not.

Answer 6

As an addict myself, don't give up on him but he is not going to change until he hit rock bottom. When all bridges are burned and he feel like there is nothing left than it is when you can help him.
Right now he is not going to change for anyone or anything.But you have to do what is best for you and you children. The most important thing is don't give him any money no matter what because after a while addicts will start to lie no matter who they are. He is in his own world and the only person that can help him is himself.

Answer 7

You have a very difficult problem to deal with that could take a long time to resolve, because chances are everytime you get away from this guy he will clean up long enough to get you back and then sooner or later he will go back to the drugs. I am talking from experience and through education. The only think you can do is take care of yourself and your children, because you are powerless to do anything with him except call the police if he gets abusive and do what you have to do to keep his influence away from your children. Try Alanon or some codependency group to help you.

Answer 8

Yes, he's a drug addict. The difficult thing is that you really cannot help him unless he really decides he wants to stop, and then he needs to get into a rehab programme. I think that you need to tell him either he gets into rehab and knocks this on the head, or you're walking. And mean it. If he won't get professional help - and he NEEDS professional help - then you are GONE. Do not wait around hoping he'll change. It's up to him. You are responsible for your own happiness, not his.

Answer 9

Support is critical when someone is an addict and he's obviously trying if he's been in and out of rehab, although he's probably no good if he's not helping support the family financialy and it's even harder for children too see parenst like that...i say its probably in your childrens and your best interest to leave him.

Answer 10

yes give up. if you loved your children the you would. you a setting a bad example. he'll just bring you down with him. if he goes to jail, you could too because you knew he did it. and you could get your children taken away. if hes a drug addict and you let him do it then in the laws eyes you are a drug addict also and an unfit parent

Answer 11

this is a hard one because people do really change and you have to keep in mind when you said you r vows you promised to be there through thick and thin...this is probably a rough time for him too,and if you just give up on him he'll probaly Just end up over doseing.....Than agian you do have to think about the children....talk to your hubby and tell him that you can't put up wit his bullsh*t anymore and if he dosn't stay clean you cant be with him anymore because you and the kids deserve better...you don't want your kids growing up seeing there dad in and out of jail/rehab......just talk to him and tell him how you really feel and how bad you want him to change.....if he dosn't change just leave b4 something happends to you and the kids while he's high or coming down....I wish you the best and good luck mija.